Close Call ~ but so thankful

Yesterday, Sam and I feel like we had a close call. One of my good friends heard of a student with a medical emergency, so she texted me to see where Andrew was in class. I could not think but did remember he had a class in that building. We started driving to campus. I had picked Sam up early due to impending snow, and we started praying. We prayed that it was not Andrew but still prayed for the person it really was. Close to campus we got word that we were not needed. Sam said, "Mommy, the tears did not come out of my eyes." He said they were there, but they did not come out. A few had come out of mine and then a few more of relief and being thankful. We still prayed for the other student who had a bad day. We were just thankful to find Andrew home eating lunch - safe and sound.




Pete has an opportunity to take us on a cruise. Andrew and Peter cannot go due to classes, and they are okay with that. The rest of us are looking forward to a nice, warm vacation in the middle of winter; but there is that part of me so reluctant and fearful to leave Andrew behind. I am working on everything for him and for Peter, but the fear still grips me from time to time. I just want to be here if he needs me. He has a significant increase in his medicine, so he should not have problems, especially during the daytime which is rare anyway. But the devil likes me to be on pins and needles all day some days waiting to see if something might happen. Those are the days I catch myself not taking full breaths and not being able to settle down. It's like I am waiting or expecting something bad to happen. It has been so bad in the last months, the waiting for something, but seems to be lifting. Even though I am so thankful Andrew had a good day yesterday, I want to be confident he will be taken care of when it's not a good day.



I don't have much to share except that I have been in a very bad place for months and feel like I am finally seeing the light of day. I need to read my Bible more. I have the devotionals that I refer to from time to time that help so much and are based on scripture. I only listen to Christian radio (except few country songs when Will is in the car). It's like I have been so deep in the middle of the storm that I cannot find my way out. My dad was talking at Christmas about his trip to a big water park with Pete and several of the grandsons a few years ago. He came down a huge slide and hit the bottom and could not get out of the chute. The more he tried to grab the side and pull himself out of a couple of feet of water, the more he got confused and disoriented. He did it twice and finally was pulled up once. He credits Pete for saving his life because it really scared him. I may not always feel that scared when I am floundering, but I sure cannot find my way out. And when my stomach hurts, and I wake up in the middle of the night feeling fear; I know that I am more scared than I even know. So I have been reaching out to Him. I have reached out, and I have reached out in desperation. And I know He has always been there. He is waiting for me to be still and stop floundering. He has given me signs in so many ways. He has brought to my face things for which I am so thankful. He has used friends and family to gently remind me. He has used words in the devotionals or songs and verses to settle my fears and calm my heart.



I am sharing this, because I can now. I feel like I am rising up out of that pit - the one we jump, fall, slide or otherwise end up in. And I am not all of the way out yet, but I know I will be. He is the One helping me. It's not me.



So I am looking forward to a trip that is such a huge treat and blessing for our family. I don't like leaving any behind, but they can have a little independence that will be good for them. And they have plenty of people who care about them and who have stepped up to help and just be there while we are away. It's funny that I don't realize right away that God can use others to help them when I am not around (a reminder from a friend). And this cruise will have no bars or gambling, so the atmosphere should be more restful for me. We are even trying to work in a day at Mickey Mouse's House for Sam who has been the only one to request to go. We will try to go to the Magic Kingdom right before we leave Florida. We are not Disney experts and would appreciate any websites or discounts or other helpful information some of you may have!



Stay safe in the snow! Ours is melting already, but it was pretty to look out and see such huge fluffy flakes. And I know the ski mountains are happy and relieved to get a big snow. The world looks so much prettier covered with the pure white snow. My goal is for things not to look ugly when it melts. I want my insides to match my outside.



And Happy Weekend. Andrew and Will both run at Appalachian tomorrow at the Holmes Center. Thanks to the brave ones who read to this point! We appreciate you! I know I have posted this song before, but I know someone else may need the words. You can hear it on Youtube.



P.S. Peter's girlfriend who had the bad wreck a couple of weeks ago is doing great. Her grandmother died at the end of the week, so they just had a tough time all of the way around. She knows God was with her and that the wreck could have been so different. She and the others involved are okay.



Love,

Wendi







"Not For A Moment (After All)" Meredith Andrews





[Verse 1]

You were reaching through the storm

Walking on the water

Even when I could not see

In the middle of it all

When I thought You were a thousand miles away

Not for a moment did You forsake me

Not for a moment did You forsake me



[Chorus]

After all You are constant

After all You are only good

After all You are sovereign

Not for a moment will You forsake me

Not for a moment will You forsake me



[Verse 2]

You were singing in the dark

Whispering Your promise

Even when I could not hear

I was held in Your arms

Carried for a thousand miles to show

Not for a moment did You forsake me



[Chorus]



And every step every breath you are there

Every tear every cry every prayer

In my hurt at my worst

When my world falls down

Not for a moment will You forsake me

Even in the dark

Even when it's hard

You will never leave me

After all



[Chorus]

Not for a moment will You forsake me