I meant to update before. Sam has strep again, and he felt really bad yesterday and the day before. This weekend, I was so heartbroken to find out one of my friends lost her brother to diabetes complications. I have been waking up in the middle of the night to check Sam. We do that when he is off or sick, but waking up to find something has happened during the night is one of my worst fears with Sam. Sunday, I was in a good place when I left church. But then I got the news about my friend’s brother. And to top that off, the devil took away my credit card and ability to write checks for the rest of the day while I tried to get ready for school and snow! The bank stuff was the regular safety stuff, but the problems were not connected; so that is how I know it really was the devil trying to get me. I cut my errands short and was thankful to get home with what I needed (and I saw God’s provision there too!).
I wanted to write a message about Andrew getting his medicine, but it was so negative. We had to work so hard to get it. I mean, really? He has insurance. Always has. I had people offering to raise money to pay for a dose, since he was getting sick and missed his first indoor meet. He had lost a few pounds, and that is in the top five of things that can freak me out about Andrew. I always think maybe something is going on that we don’t know yet. It’s not being paranoid, but it’s just trying to be responsible. I have shared with you before that I asked God to show me (knock me over the head) anything that needed to be checked. This happened when Andrew was five, and I remember asking Him – very clearly. Andrew finally did get his medicine (after many people worked on a seemingly impossible task) and has had two infusions. We will check his numbers again after I check with his doctor. He is doing much better and feeling much better. We are so thankful he has his medicine finally, and I am sorry for what it may have cost him to wait and go without. But God sees the whole picture, and I don’t. So my attitude has improved, and Pete is glad I did not have to travel anywhere to talk to someone at the insurance company in person. After calling the insurance company once again today about a letter in the mail, I was told they don’t know how his stuff is straight – because the rest of our stuff is still a mess. While at first I was annoyed, I see now that God worked it out for Andrew – who needed it. And then He let me see it today. That has helped my attitude and my perspective. I know He will help me get the other worked out.
With all of the snow and sickness and cold and dreary days, it’s easy to get down. I am fighting that by trying to look at all of my blessings. They are truly more than I can count. I don’t mind cold and snow. I do mind a cold and dreary attitude. I don’t think that is what God has for me. But it’s good to feel what others feel sometimes and try to learn from it whatever we can.
When we talked in Sunday School this week, I was reminded that it’s okay to be somewhere in our lives where we don’t want to be or don’t want to be very long. It’s the waiting room – as I call it. If I just knew how long or how it would end up, it would be easier. That is where faith comes in. When I get weary, I get anxious. God tells me not to be anxious for anything – He will take care of me (Philippians 4:6).
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6
That’s for me. Pray. Ask. Be thankful. But don’t be anxious.
I have been awakened by a shake of my shoulder. And I found my child not responsive on the floor in his room in the middle of the night. (And that is not the first time I was compelled to check on him and find him in a place where he needed us.) I have been comforted by a hand on my shoulder – at least a couple of times. I know Who it was. I know Who it is. I have no doubts. That’s what I strive to remember. I get caught up in the frustration and fears. That is human. But because I know Him, I can remember He is with me.
Google this song if you need a new great song. It’s great for running or walking or singing in the car at the top of your lungs. It’s a great reminder. Come just as we are. He takes me when I am mean, scared, frustrated, brokenhearted, impatient, selfish, feeling sorry for myself, and all of the other things. Thank you for praying for my family.
“Come However You Are” City Harbour
To anyone walking down a hard road
Worn out with blisters on your feet
To anyone with a heart that's shattered
Doing your best to hold it together
With no prayer to pray and no song left to sing
Whatever pain you're dealing with
Let me offer this
Come however you are
Come with all your heart breaks
Come with all the mistakes you've made
Lay them down at the cross
Give them to the God who loves you
Hurt, scarred, falling apart
Come however you are
To the girl who never had a father
To the guy who thinks he'll never
Amount to much of anything
To those of us who feel unwanted, unneeded, Unloved and desperately incomplete
Come however you are
Come with all your heart breaks
Come with all the mistakes you've made
Lay them down at the cross
Give them to the God who loves you
Hurt, scarred, falling apart
Come however you are
Come with your regrets
Come with the things you can't take
Come with all your fears and all your shame
With everything
Come with the pieces of
Your bruised and broken heart
Don't wait, don't wait
Whatever pain you're dealing with
Let me offer this
Come however you are
Come with all your heart breaks
Come with all the mistakes you've made
Lay them down at the cross
Give them to the God who loves you
Hurt, scarred, falling apart
Come however you are
Come however you
Come however you are
Come however you
Come however you are
Come however you
Come however you are
Come however you are