It's hard to believe February is already flying by! It's cold here in Boone today. It snowed and stopped and snowed and stopped and now is snowing again! This weekend, I got in a lot of wood from our last pile outside at the back of the house. I was so thankful to see there was more than I thought. I made it a game, and I worked on it for about two hours. Andrew had helped me with a cleaning job earlier in the day. Peter was not around, and Will was getting ready to go somewhere. Peter finally got back and helped with a couple of loads, and one of Will's friends helped get some in and chopped a lot of kindling. I have never appreciated help as much as I seem to now. Pete has always been there to do everything - even if I helped. But I am a little protective of him. It's hard when he insists on doing all that he can, so I am thankful when others pitch in to help when he is not looking!
On the other side of the house, Pete was taking our neighbor's dog (puppy) out, since they were out of town. I asked how it was. It was crazy trying to get a leash on her. It was so funny. The dog is so funny and full of energy. She and Lucy are friends, but Cokie has a million times more energy. So Pete was pretty occupied while I was working. With the cold today, I am so happy all of that wood is in the basement snug in the corner and not outside!
Everything is just so busy busy busy. I don't seem to have time to catch my breath some days, and it's frustrating to me. I think back to when my boys were little and should have been taking up all of my time, but this time in life seems much harder. I always had a schedule. It was flexible, but I usually had an hour to myself when they napped and another hour or two after they were in bed. It's not even running here and there and everywhere. It's just the amount of stuff that always needs to be done, and I don't feel like I ever check anything off my list!
So I have determined to do better. I have seen my husband frustrated and tired, and I know he feels the same way to an extent. So I have been praying about what to do differently. And I know God will let me know. He knows my focus is on what needs to be done next - and not always on Him.
Sam and I made handmade valentines in Sunday School to send to people. We started out with 8-10, but we mailed 22 this morning. We still have a long list, but we will have to send Easter cards too. When I think of all of the people who would love to get something in the mail, I feel terrible that my plans never materialize nearly like I would like. In a world that has gone to technology, it's so nice to get something in the mail. At Christmas, Pete's boss gives each employee money and a foster child to buy gifts for. He gives the money and list to me. This year, we ordered most of what was on the list; and Sam loved getting the packages and sorting and wrapping everything. This year, we are saving to buy a goat for a family through Samaritan's Purse. That's our Sunday School project.
Will had a vehicle parked outside our garage that looked ready for the junk yard. No engine. No tires. On blocks. I know some neighbors were probably thrilled to drive by it each day. To me, it was a reminder that my boy is at home. So I cherished the sight. Today, the vehicle went up the road. Motor in. Tires on. New paint job. I see so much there that God can use, and I pray many times each day that he will use his gifts and talents for God. He is just 18, but I pray and pray. When I wash those dirty clothes for him and fold them (when he has not done his own laundry), I consider it a privilege. I do have a kind of funny story from the other night, but I will save it for another time. He did scare me (not on purpose), and I told his friends that if I were ever going to cuss, it would have been then. So we are safe there. Not a bad word came out of my mouth or even came to mind. I listened to a video that was talked about as controversial today, and it had bad words and trash in it. That is what our young people listen to- some of them. It hurts my heart. And that bad stuff will come out at some point, if it's constantly going in.
Peter is on a roll with his tests the past couple of weeks. I pray for him all of the time too. Sam and I pray in the car every morning to get us started. But most of the time. I pray before I even get out of bed. It is good to pray, and it reminds me Who is in control - before I get off on my own tangents. Peter has been on my heart more than usual, and I feel like God is working in his life. And I am so very thankful.
Andrew ran at ETSU on Friday night. He ran a PR in his 5K. He ran a 15:10. He was fourth and needs to run a few seconds faster to make conference. So he goes to Marshall this weekend. I want to go, but I am not sure I can work that out. So I am praying for his safety and his race. He has great coaches, great friends on the team, and a great trainer. His trainer called me before he started working with their team, and his questions made me feel like he had taken the time to see what he could do for Andrew and how to be prepared in case Andrew needed help. Not many people go that extra bit, and they cannot know how much I appreciate those that do.
Which brings me to another thought I had Friday night. I passed the turn-off to a school Andrew was so excited about attending. Pete went with him for a visit to see about running. They were treated so well, and they were both so excited. Even with scholarships, it would be very expensive; but Pete was determined to do that for Andrew. I went to orientation with Andrew. I knew about orientations and how they worked. I wanted to be impressed. I wanted to feel at peace. I wanted to like the place! Everything sounded good on the surface, but I had misgivings. His schedule interfered with practice, which should not have happened at a school that size -if they were looking out for you. I talked to the people who were so animated on the stage talking to parents at orientation - when they stopped talking to each other in the hallway and noticed that I had some questions. When I expressed my concern about him living in a residence hall with his emergency situations, one woman kind of informed me that he was not the only one on campus with health problems. I wanted to go in the bathroom and cry. I kept praying. The rest of the story is that Andrew had a horrible night a few weeks before he went. I had tried really hard to be positive and supportive. I had bought his few things for his room - he's a minimalist mostly. I had packed them in a corner - his comforter, new sheets, few dishes, clothes rack, etc. But it was Andrew who told me that he could not go. That was right on the heels of an email from my aunt who gives advice but not usually to me. She had pretty much told me that I could trust the Lord, but sometimes He was telling me not to do what I was trying to trust Him to take care of! Boy, that answer was right in front of me. I am so thankful that everything else worked out for him to go to Appalachian. He had been accepted, and he was not living in a hall; so that helped. But God worked it all out. All of it. There were so many details. So as I drove by the turn-off on Friday, I let that feeling of thankfulness wash over me - all the way down to my toes.
Sam is still struggling so much in school in so many ways. We pray about that every day and what to do. He has an appointment in March in Asheville where he went when he was four. He won't see the same doctor but will see a PA. I don't know what is important enough to get an appointment with the doctor he has already seen. But I am hoping the PA will be what he needs. Snow days are a bit of relief for him. He really appreciates the break from what is really hard for him.
Pete continues to work hard. Too hard. I think this year will be the year to cut back on some things. We/he cannot keep up the pace like we have for so long. And it's probably working against us. We work extra jobs to pay for our medical bills, but now that affects our insurance price which is now through the roof. So we will see what we need to do to get in a better way there. I would love to take a huge load off his shoulders. Right now, we need to learn ways to save more money than earn more money! He is so tired. And it makes me frustrated sometimes. Well, a lot of times lately. I keep praying about this and asking God to show us what to do.
Thanks for reading this long update. We live each day very thankful right now. Last year at this time was hard. Little did we know that it would get much harder. But I can tell you that God was right with us during it all. And no one can dispute that. I was there, and I know. That's the thing about our testimonies. They are ours. We just need to be better about sharing them.
Happy snow days!
Monday, February 8, 2016
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