First, I would like to thank all of you who have prayed for Pop and our family the past months. Pete's dad found out many years ago that he had Granulomatosis, an auto immune disease. He had a biopsy followed by a heart attack (and a stent), and one of the doctors reviewing his case realized what it was. So when he was diagnosed with cancer a couple of years ago, they had to take that into consideration. And when his treatments did not work, his options were limited because of his immune system. He told us in November that his cancer was Stage IV and that he probably had 6-12 months.
Pop and Sarah had gone to Ireland, England, and Scotland in the fall. He had pain in his leg but went anyway. He got it checked when he returned. He had to wait a long while between appointments. Meanwhile, the pain got worse. He started using a cane to get around the house. Then he was in a wheelchair. The cancer actually had moved into his spine, and that made the pain even worse. For months, he was in unrelenting pain with little relief.
Finally, with medication, his pain was under a little better control; but he was confined to his recliner most of the day. Hospice had just started coming and brought a hospital bed. They were working to get a gel pad for the bed, as it was too uncomfortable as it was. That is when Pop fell. He literally broke his neck and was taken to the hospital and then taken on up to the larger hospital in Roanoke. He was in even more pain, obviously. They put him in a big neck brace and put him in palliative care. But he wanted to go home. He fell on a Wednesday, January 31. He came home on Saturday, February 3, by ambulance from Roanoke to Floyd.
Because the children had been with him (and Sarah) at the hospital, I felt like God was nudging me to take a turn caring for him - not just visiting. I went into work on a Sunday after church and worked all afternoon to get my end of month stuff done, because that is what I would have done that week. Peter and I went to Floyd on Monday, February 6. We felt inadequate to care for him, but of course we wanted to help him. We spent some precious quality time with him. Peter had to leave Tuesday late afternoon for a job interview. So Sarah and I took care of Pop until Meg came on Wednesday night. Sarah slept in the recliner next to his bed, and she got me up when she needed me.
Meg came on Wednesday evening, and we noticed a significant increase in his pain, though he would not complain. I stayed until mid-morning on Thursday, when Pete came back. Pete was pretty shaken by the change from Saturday to Thursday. I was pretty overtaken with grief, when I pulled out of their driveway. I had kissed him on the head and told him goodbye. I knew in my heart I would not see him again here - even though we were coming back on Saturday. I knew those days were some of the most precious of my life. Pop was gracious and always telling us what a great job we were doing. We laughed as he teased us a bit. And we wrote down things he said and even recorded a couple of conversations. He was the best patient. I think he accepted that he needed help, and he was thankful for the help we gave ~ even when we struggled with what to do or doing it quickly and efficiently. We figured out how to use a bendy straw and which cups worked best for him to drink around the brace. We also knew he loved his Virginia Tech blanket the best and put it on the top, even if he had two blankets beneath it. Whitney had sent another, so we always had one that was ready to use. He wanted ice cream and candy that a special friend had made and mailed to him and also candy that his pastor had brought from Panama. He was able to talk on the phone a little bit to some dear friends, if we put it on speaker. He had a few special visitors, and his Hospice nurses were angels.
Pop was able to talk a little bit Thursday night. We knew earlier in the day when we rolled him or moved him that the pain was worse and getting even worse. We started giving him more pain medicine and even gave him Tylenol in between to help take the edge off. It was on his list, but he had not wanted it. Meg had made the best drug chart with what to give and when. She also included a description of each pill. I triple checked it when I gave it to him. With Peter or Meg's help, we could put a couple of pills in his mouth to swallow. He did not really know much Friday morning, and the Hospice nurse told Meg not to leave when they came. Meg had been away from home a lot, but she stayed. Pop died that afternoon. Pete and Meg were there with Sarah (Pete's mom) and Charlotte (Pop's sister) and Marianna (his niece).
We know from conversations over the last months that Pop knew Jesus. He knew he was in need of a Savior, and he had accepted Jesus as his Savior. And we take such great comfort in that. His service was in Floyd this past Saturday. It has not hit me that he is gone. We will surely miss him here, but we are so thankful we will see him again. We are so thankful, too, that he is free from the pain he had suffered for so long.
I am sorry that all of my boys did not get to see Pop one more time before he died. Peter did, and Pop actually asked for him a lot to do things. Peter was so great with him. He would pull the velcro straps a bit on his neck brace to help Pop feel some relief ~ even though there was nothing we could do with it. They had all seen him on Christmas, and some after. Andrew and Sam were coming up on Saturday, and Pop knew that. He also told me a few things about Will ~ and I will remember those encouraging words.
And the same for Pete. He has had people call and step up to help in whatever way. It will be toughest on him, but he is at peace knowing where Pop is now. We have some tape measures that were Pop's, and I will put one in each boy's tool box. My dad bought (from an auction) Pop's golf clubs. We have given some of his golf balls marked with his special monogram to his friends. We also gave his fruit cake invention to two who will appreciate it. Evidently, he made a wooden contraption to make sure his homemade fruit cakes would all be the same size and shape.
This past Monday (last week), Andrew was running and had a seizure. He was able to get down on the ground but still scraped his shoulder blade pretty well. He was alone, but God was with him. He had to get up and run (slowly) back to his group - about two miles. We are thankful he is okay and that God took care of him. We are thankful that we are on this path to see if we can get rid of those awful seizures. He goes Monday to Duke for another MRI and an appointment with the neurologist we have seen since July. He can check his three medications and see if we need to change anything. He has a tentative date to be at Duke on July 10 for his next EMU stay. He will go in on Tuesday and have the electrodes surgically placed, spend the night in ICU, and go to the EMU the next day. It will be a 7-9 day stay. He is looking forward to getting it done. We are dreading it. But we are praying that all will go well, and that they will get the information they need. We will be calling on people to pray again during that time.
It was so hard to leave Sam those nights. I did not have great phone reception and actually had about 15 texts come in when I got to Hillsville, VA, on Thursday. So it was hard to not be able to check on Sam like I wanted. But God took care of that too. His numbers were mostly in the 100's while I was gone.
This is my latest update. We are taking a breath and getting on to the next thing. And we hope that whatever it is, that God is glorified. When you go through a death, it makes things so real. And time seems so short. We want people to know Jesus and accept Him before it's too late. Lately, I get sad instead of mad when I hear people say things about Jesus. So I pray for them more. I just don't know what people do without Jesus.
Thanks for reading and for praying! We feel it and appreciate it so much!
