Tomorrow ~ 9 years with Diabetes!

It's not really a day to celebrate.  But it is a day/time to remember.  And if I step back and see things clearly, I can see God's hand in the start of this journey - even before this day - and as we have traveled along.

I had just returned from almost a week of travel in Chattanooga, TN.  I got home late Thursday night.  I did not notice anything wrong with Sam on Friday, but I did decide I would take him back to the doctor the next week if he'd had any accidents.  On Saturday evening, he threw up a little bit.  I thought, "Oh no!  A stomach bug!"  I knew if he was sick, I would have to miss my baby niece's baptism Winston the next morning.

He woke up sick, but Will cleaned him up and put him in bed with him.  He threw up again, and Will got me.  I put Sam in the tub and almost gasped.  He looked like a little gray skeleton.  He had lost six of his 30 something pounds.  He did not look like that Friday!

Pete said I had to take him to the ER - not to wait.  He took Andrew and Peter and went on to Winston.  Will had begged to stay with me, and I was so thankful he did...

I remember looking up at the ceiling in the ER and silently pleading with God to not let it be diabetes - something the doctor's booming voice mentioned right away.  I did not know much about diabetes, but I knew we did not want it.  I already had enough stuff, right?  We wouldn't get diabetes TOO, would we?

The answer would be ~ yes.  Yes, we would.

It was a delicate balance - to bring his blood sugar down without throwing his whole body off more.  It was a hard day.  Sam was tired and so thirsty and felt AWFUL.  Will was such a big help.

I remember the days that followed.  I was so exhausted.  Pete and I knew we would never be able to give Sam shots.  Was there any other way?  No.

We both learned and cried and learned and cried more.  I remember asking God to put me back in Chattanooga to come home for a do over.  He did not.

We still give lots of shots.  We hope to get a CGM (continuous glucose monitor) soon.  And a pump after that.  Our endocrinologist has retired, and we have a new one.

We still wish diabetes was not in our family.  It's 24/7.  It's very expensive.  It's draining.  It's old.  But Sam is still here, and that is the most important part.

We know people don't understand.  We did not either.  But we have to ask for help wherever he is.  And we have to keep asking until we find someone to help when we are not there.  Thanks to ALL of you who have helped.  We also have to try to keep explaining to others why we need help.

We have stories of children not diagnosed in time.  We have stories of people who go to sleep and don't wake up again.  We try so hard to keep Sam safe and healthy.

So on this day (nine years later), I would go back to September 19, 2009, and tell myself:  Tomorrow, things are going to change.  You will never sleep the same.  You will never come home without checking blood sugars.  You will never again eat without making sure Sam's blood sugar is checked and carbs are counted.  Make sure you know how to count carbs and figure ratios.  Make sure you can give a shot.  Pray.  Pray a lot.  But before tomorrow, try to get a good night's sleep.  You will need it.

That's what I would say.  And then I would say this:  It will be okay.  You will have people appear and tell you things that will help get you through.  You will be so overwhelmed, but I promise it will get better.  God will provide.  He will.  In all kinds of ways you cannot even imagine.  So don't give up.  You cannot anyway.  You are fighting for your son's life.  Fight with God's help.  Let Him help.  Actually, just give it all to Him.  Let others help.  Make some new friends who understand your new way of life.  And lean on your true friends for strength and encouragement.  Tune out what you don't need.  You have another focus now.  But most of all, focus on God.  He will never leave.  He will send a dog to wake you up on a dangerous night.  He will shake your shoulder if you need to wake up and find a child who desperately needs you.  He will take over when you are too exhausted to wake up to your alarm.  Rest in Him.

And now, I can look back at the scary times He has brought us through.  We will keep on fighting.  And we will keep on depending on Him.  Some of my favorite verses to remember:

“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."    John 14:6

^“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6,7

“But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."  II Corinthians 12:9

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”  Philippians 4:13

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9

So tomorrow, we will "celebrate" nine years of God's faithfulness to our family!

 On Saturday, October 6, at 8:30 am, we will walk to bring awareness to Type 1 diabetes.  We will love on and encourage those fighting it.  And we will put those warning signs out there for ones who don't yet know.  Link to sign up:          

 https://www2.jdrf.org/site/TR?fr_id=7595&pg=personal&px=10967372

Update on September 3, 2018

April D. Green Photography ~ Moses Cone Estate ~ June 2018

This has been a very quiet blog from a very tired author!  This will be a short update, and I will update again soon.  We so appreciate those who check on us, and we especially appreciate those who pray!

Andrew goes back to the neurosurgeon on September 14.  This has been a tough little stretch, and we are anxious to get back and get a plan and a timetable.  He can run again - earlier than they originally said.  He is staying in Abingdon right now with my sister and her family.  They have kept him very busy during this waiting time.  He has been able to do some light work and go on rock deliveries.  My dad and nephew have kept him occupied painting my nephew's house.  And they have taken him to do some fun things.  Things he would not be doing at home!  He is also able to visit Grandmother lots more than I am and gives me good updates.  She is home with Hospice.  Andrew ran with Laura, and he has run with Waylon, her energetic dog.  He has only had one episode, and it was milder than usual.  We appreciate their love and help for him.  He has even visited Virginia Tech and watched my nephew finish a 30 mile trail run in Damascus.

The other boys are good.  Everyone has stuff going on, and I just pray...a lot.  I open my eyes in the morning and close them again praying for these boys.  And I pray for them every night when I crawl in bed.  And many many times in between.  Sam starts back his reading at ASU soon.  Of course I feel like it's crunch time, since he is in 8th grade.  But I just keep praying.

Maybe your life is not perfect right now.  Maybe you feel like nothing is going right.  Just keep praying.  That's what I am doing.  And looking in my Bible for my answers.  I have so much to be thankful for, and I have some big things hanging over my head.  Some days I dread getting out of bed.  I am trying to have that "be still" time and get sidetracked so easily - with big stuff.  Really big stuff.  So I keep trying and praying...a lot.  I know God is there.  Some days He just puts something right in front of my nose, and I appreciate those reminders that only He and I know about!

We are clearing out Pop and Sarah's house in a couple of weeks.  The Floyd house has sold, and we are moving things out.  If you see anything for sale on my Facebook page, please buy it or share with someone who may!  I have a lot to clear out to bring some of her furniture for her.  We don't know what will happen in the coming months, but some things will come to our house and go in Sam's room instead of storage.  So Sam's room has been spread ALL over the house.  That's why I told Pete I would get rid of a lot!  He is running the donate vehicle - to Hebron or Goodwill.  I have to clear out Sam's whole closet too!  Will has no idea (yet) that most of his room will be moved out in the next week or so to make room for some furniture Pop made and an old spindle bed that was Pete's grandmother's.  He will love it...when I get it all done!  As long as I keep him in cotton sheets and covers with good pillows, he is good.

It was so sad to go into the house today with Pop not there.  We talk about him every single day many many (many) times.  And that has hindered my grief in a way.  So today, looking at the spot where his hospital bed was and passing the dumpsters a few miles from his house where I almost turned around and went back (to his house) on February 8 brought some tears.  I did not turn around that day.  I had to get home to Sam and Andrew.  Pete had arrived in my car, and I stayed a while and went home.  I was coming back in a couple of days, but I knew when I kissed him and told him I loved him, it was the last time on this earth.  He had gone downhill so fast in the few days I was there.  It will always be one of my hardest and most blessed weeks.  It was an honor and privilege to care for him for a little tiny bit, and he was the best patient ever.  I got another of his LL Bean totes for Peter with the same initials.  I am thankful he is in Heaven and not in pain.  I could hear his voice and see his face, and I just let myself miss him (without all of the extra stuff surrounding it). 

And speaking of good patients, my grandmother is just as sweet and precious as can be.  If she is able, she lights up when a visitor steps up to her bed; and her blue eyes just sparkle.  She makes everyone feel like they are a favorite ~ without making anyone feel any less!  She says she is "just fine" when she answers to everyone asking how she is.  She kissed me and told me she loves me last week.  I have not been this week and plan to see her tomorrow.  She was able to see and enjoy my extra special pictures of the boys I printed for her.  My grandmother is going to Heaven.  Pete talked to her a couple of weeks ago - soon after she came home with Hospice.  Pete, Sarah, Sam, Will, Peter, Julianna, and I went to see her on a Saturday morning.  Pete read to her and asked her questions -which she was able to answer without hesitation.  So even though this time is very very hard, there is peace and hope for Grandmother...and for all of us.

Romans 12:12 says, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." I am trying to keep this in the front of my mind every minute of every day.  I know God is here.  And He is faithful.  And He loves me.  Why else would He send Jesus?  So thankful for Him.

Thanks for reading and for praying.