Andrew found out Tuesday that he probably has some form of tendonitis. I know it's frustrating, but I told him at least he had no tears! His MRI was clear but did show something that could be something inflamed like tendonitis. He is still running in the pool and biking. He has put in the work and the miles this summer, so I pray all of his hard work will show this fall. Otherwise, he seems to feel good. He started his infusions twice a month instead of four times, so that worked out well. He was finished with four sites not too long after three sites with half the medicine takes. I will begin the process of getting his authorization done soon. They told me last year that I did not need to do anything (my insurance company). But when left up to them, it did not work out so well. I read about so many people who have problems getting what they need and should get, and I feel even more thankful for the help God has provided to us in dealing with red tape. I have been frustrated and felt pretty helpless sometimes at their hands, and so I don't take that help for granted!
Sam has been swinging from over 600 to the 30's since last night. I think I may have him checked out tomorrow. He was fine until bedtime last night but then was over 300. So I gave him some insulin on his sliding scale. I was more cautious since it was bedtime. But when I checked him 30 minutes later, he was over 400! So I gave him a tiny bit more. Thirty minutes later, he was almost 500! It was very late by then, and I was really confused. And I was afraid all of the insulin would kick in at once and drop him too low. I checked his pen and meter and found nothing wrong. He finally started coming back down and woke up in the 190's. He popped up over 300 for Andrew and then over 600! Andrew was doing what he should. I came on home, but Andrew had called me on my way to say he was 170. Finally! A good (much better) number. When I got home a little later, he looked gray. I thought he was high again but was 36! We just hit a 34 a few minutes ago, so he is eating some snacks with carbs and protein. In between those, he was either good or over 300. Sometimes diabetes can be such a pain. At least he is a sweet little patient. And he has gotten good at slurping down gogurt in the middle of the night when he is low! Sam's new puppy was there today when I was checking him and finding those bad numbers. I told her to pay attention so she could help! (I know this is long, but my diabetes friends know exactly what I mean.)
All of my boys start school on the same day this year! Since our county starts later, they all start on the same day which will be good, I hope! (Traffic!) We have been getting our stuff together since it is just right around the corner (19th), and the dining room looks like the school section at Walmart. Sam and I make a trip to Charlotte next week, so we can get his endo appointment out of the way before school starts. I wish it were tomorrow! That would be helpful. I would just hand Dr. Parker his meter and log and ask him to tell me what to do. He is good about that.
Speaking of doctors. I have shared my friend Mike's story with a lot of you. He had leukemia which went to the worst leukemia (ALL), since he had hesitated and turned down the bone marrow transplant. He had the best doctor near Nashville who literally saved his life. He got Mike back to the point where he could even have the transplant. All of that is another story. It's all a miracle. It would make you cry and praise God for His work in Mike's life - which has encouraged and affected many over the last 14 (?) years. Anyway, his doctor who was still helping tons of patients, was killed by a drunk driver yesterday near Nashville. Please pray for his family and his patients and friends. And please remember Mike. When I get tired, I look at how tired Mike got and how he just kept going. And I can see how God has blessed him in so many ways and used him and his story to help others. I am so thankful for him, and I am so sorry for the loss of this special doctor who has helped so many.
Thanks for praying for us.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Andrew's Knee
Please pray for Andrew this week. His knee is killing him, and he has an MRI scheduled for Friday. The PA we saw Friday told him he could keep doing what he could, so he is running in the pool and riding the bike at home. He is starting to feel frustrated with it all. I told the PA that I did not get Peter an MRI until he ran on a stress fracture for probably over a year, so he went ahead and set it up instead of waiting a few weeks. I just did not feel like we should wait, since the summer is flying by and cross country will soon be upon us. I also checked with Dr. Adams who thought that was a reasonable plan (and who checked on other joints and fevers which are all negative, thank goodness!).
Andrew is also finally over getting his wisdom teeth out! He was so tired of a mushy and liquid diet! We are glad to have that behind us now. I don't think he will willingly eat pudding, ice cream, or applesauce anytime soon!
Sam is doing well. He just finished his third grade reading camp - which was required of most children who were not reading on grade level at the end of third grade. It was most of six weeks beginning Monday after school was out. He rode the bus and loved that. He has his birthday puppy a little early and loves Lucy. She is a sweet little dog and has kept him quite busy for the last two weeks! His blood sugars have been a little high the past few days after being pretty "normal" for a few days following some bad lows on several days/nights. I am just happy we are not seeing 49's at bedtime that refuse to come up for hours. I am sure a lot of it is because he is growing so much. Dr. Parker will remind me of that when I take Sam in a couple of weeks. He keeps warning me about age 10. I think I have come to dread it a little bit! It's hard enough for my baby to turn 10, so I don't need to add more diabetes stress and confusion to that age. We will just keep checking him, praying a lot, and doing our best.
On another good note, I was trying to pay the boys' tuition and fees for fall last night and found that Andrew has an extra scholarship! It's not big, but it helps a lot! Since I worked in Admissions for over 20 years, and a lot of that was with scholarships, I recognized the name on the scholarship. It's for students in his major with a certain gpa. It is just one of those things that I know God threw in there, knowing I would see it and recognize it. I know Deanne, Joe, Paul, Paula, Harry, Patrick, Cyn D., Treva, etc. would recognize it too and see how all of that comes together! They would appreciate how much I appreciate it! We waived their health insurance and now are waiting for that to process before we pay their bills (just a heads up to other Appalachian parents to get that waiver done before you pay!).
Peter is working hard every day on campus. Will is working hard most days - somewhere. He is literally everywhere, but his next big project (I hope!) is our new garage door for the basement. I cannot believe school is about to start in just a few short weeks. The summer is almost gone! It's weird, but summer is my least favorite season; so it's okay. I am just not ready for school yet. My girls' (mommies) weekend is coming up, and we used to buy all of those little school clothes and church clothes when we went. Not anymore!
My boys don't like having a ton of extra clothes, and they even buy a lot of their own now. So it will be more fun and not long lists of things I cannot find in Boone.
Pete leaves next week for Alaska. He is going on a cruise for work. I pray it's a restful time for him - as he has been way too busy for many months now. He is glad to see some "extra" jobs come to an end at the end of the summer, and I am too. I appreciate that he takes on extra things, but sometimes it adds up to too much. Fortunately, he is realizing that for himself without me telling him! But he has also provided a way to save for something special for Sam, and I appreciate that so much too. Since taking a church, he has not had a minute to take a break; so I am praying that he just has a wonderful time in that majestic place. Even though we will miss him here!
This is a lot longer than I intended, but thanks for praying. Thanks for asking about the boys and encouraging us. We appreciate it all. And though sometimes I sound tired and negative, I do know where to look for my strength. And He is faithful to give it to me and provide all that I need. And I appreciate all of the reminders that God gives - sometimes through some of you (and you don't even realize it sometimes!). I find myself sinking down sometimes (ironically) when I am NOT in the middle of a crisis. And I have to read and listen to get myself back on track. Thanks again. Hope comes from trusting - fully trusting God to take care of whatever I have to worry me or concern me. And I want to overflow with that hope instead of being mired down in that old pit. It's like Reverand Thrasher once told me - dancing in the rain (he told me before that was popular!).
"God of hope, I pray You fill me with all joy and peace as I trust in You, so that I may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
Andrew is also finally over getting his wisdom teeth out! He was so tired of a mushy and liquid diet! We are glad to have that behind us now. I don't think he will willingly eat pudding, ice cream, or applesauce anytime soon!
Sam is doing well. He just finished his third grade reading camp - which was required of most children who were not reading on grade level at the end of third grade. It was most of six weeks beginning Monday after school was out. He rode the bus and loved that. He has his birthday puppy a little early and loves Lucy. She is a sweet little dog and has kept him quite busy for the last two weeks! His blood sugars have been a little high the past few days after being pretty "normal" for a few days following some bad lows on several days/nights. I am just happy we are not seeing 49's at bedtime that refuse to come up for hours. I am sure a lot of it is because he is growing so much. Dr. Parker will remind me of that when I take Sam in a couple of weeks. He keeps warning me about age 10. I think I have come to dread it a little bit! It's hard enough for my baby to turn 10, so I don't need to add more diabetes stress and confusion to that age. We will just keep checking him, praying a lot, and doing our best.
On another good note, I was trying to pay the boys' tuition and fees for fall last night and found that Andrew has an extra scholarship! It's not big, but it helps a lot! Since I worked in Admissions for over 20 years, and a lot of that was with scholarships, I recognized the name on the scholarship. It's for students in his major with a certain gpa. It is just one of those things that I know God threw in there, knowing I would see it and recognize it. I know Deanne, Joe, Paul, Paula, Harry, Patrick, Cyn D., Treva, etc. would recognize it too and see how all of that comes together! They would appreciate how much I appreciate it! We waived their health insurance and now are waiting for that to process before we pay their bills (just a heads up to other Appalachian parents to get that waiver done before you pay!).
Peter is working hard every day on campus. Will is working hard most days - somewhere. He is literally everywhere, but his next big project (I hope!) is our new garage door for the basement. I cannot believe school is about to start in just a few short weeks. The summer is almost gone! It's weird, but summer is my least favorite season; so it's okay. I am just not ready for school yet. My girls' (mommies) weekend is coming up, and we used to buy all of those little school clothes and church clothes when we went. Not anymore!
My boys don't like having a ton of extra clothes, and they even buy a lot of their own now. So it will be more fun and not long lists of things I cannot find in Boone.
Pete leaves next week for Alaska. He is going on a cruise for work. I pray it's a restful time for him - as he has been way too busy for many months now. He is glad to see some "extra" jobs come to an end at the end of the summer, and I am too. I appreciate that he takes on extra things, but sometimes it adds up to too much. Fortunately, he is realizing that for himself without me telling him! But he has also provided a way to save for something special for Sam, and I appreciate that so much too. Since taking a church, he has not had a minute to take a break; so I am praying that he just has a wonderful time in that majestic place. Even though we will miss him here!
This is a lot longer than I intended, but thanks for praying. Thanks for asking about the boys and encouraging us. We appreciate it all. And though sometimes I sound tired and negative, I do know where to look for my strength. And He is faithful to give it to me and provide all that I need. And I appreciate all of the reminders that God gives - sometimes through some of you (and you don't even realize it sometimes!). I find myself sinking down sometimes (ironically) when I am NOT in the middle of a crisis. And I have to read and listen to get myself back on track. Thanks again. Hope comes from trusting - fully trusting God to take care of whatever I have to worry me or concern me. And I want to overflow with that hope instead of being mired down in that old pit. It's like Reverand Thrasher once told me - dancing in the rain (he told me before that was popular!).
"God of hope, I pray You fill me with all joy and peace as I trust in You, so that I may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
Friday, July 11, 2014
The Bear ~ 2014
Thanks to those of you who prayed for Andrew tonight running The Bear! Some of those texts miraculously made their way off the top of Grandfather Mountain, and I knew people were praying as Andrew was weighing on my heart. Then my phone would not work anymore up there, so I knew God let them go through!
I heard my name but paid no attention until I saw Coach Curcio coming towards me. I don't mean to always think the worst, and I knew Andrew's knee was hurting as were his wisdom teeth. But my first thought seems to be panic, so he told me quickly (because I think Coach knows how I am) that Andrew's knee was hurting; so he was in a van with Coach Weaver. Even though I felt disappointment for Andrew, I was relieved it was not something worse. Andrew stopped around 1/2 a mile and jogged down the road to find Coach Weaver in the pick-up (trail) van. I know that was hard for him, but it was smart and responsible. And I totally trust Coach Weaver and Coach Curcio to take good care of Andrew. So that made me feel better to know he was with him. At the end, he ended up in a vehicle with his high school coach, so he got to visit with everyone.
It was fun to watch the runners come in, and I am the loudest yeller for my friends. Standing in such a majestic place is good for my soul. But my heart hurt a little. I told Pete I have come to depend on these Bear finishes to lift me up and away from all we deal with during the year. He told me maybe I need to look elsewhere. But I told him that that's why The Bear is so special to me. The wonderful races Andrew has had in the past give God the glory. Because we know they are miracles. And I really wanted another one tonight. I have struggled all week, and now I know a little more why. Andrew was fine. He was a little disappointed, but he knew he did the right thing by stopping. He did not want to risk his summer training. It was someone else's turn to finish up there near the front.
Laura sent me some pictures from the start, but they did not come through until we got back to the car. There he was, and he would have finished in that spot if he had run his best time. He jokingly said to add DNF to the pictures if we put them on Facebook (Did Not Finish). So at least he was joking, and I realized I needed to straighten up.
I sent an email to someone dear to me earlier this week with some information on someone we both knew. I thought he would want to see it as we both really liked and respected this man we met in different decades. When I came home from the Bear, I had a message from him. Short and nice and encouraging. And I sit here with tears rolling down my face, because he has no clue how my night has been. Or my week. But he knows so much more about what we deal with in our home than probably anyone outside of our little family. Because he deals with this stuff too - or has in the past. So I know without a doubt that God knows my heart. He knows what I need. And He knew I needed a little reminder that He knows - and most of all, He cares, tonight. And this person responded to my email at just the right time.
Andrew is waiting for medical clearance to get his wisdom teeth out ASAP. They are killing him, and he has been taking Advil constantly the past week. Just another reminder that there is nothing simple about anything about him. But at least the doctor cares to take good care of him. And though I wish life were a little easier or simpler for him sometimes, I want him to be who he is supposed to be. And I am so blessed that I am his mom. I will just keep trying to do a better job - and I don't mean that in a bad way. I just have to keep trying to keep up and looking to God for guidance and not get bogged down feeling sorry for me!
Thanks again for praying. We know prayer works. We can see it so clearly in our lives. Andrew and I are helping at the Grandfather Mountain Marathon this Saturday, so that will be fun for us. He just bounces back and keeps on going. He is a great example for me!
Just some fun facts about The Bear and my boys - not including the years Pete ran!
2008 Andrew 41st (39:13)
2009 Andrew 9th (35:30) Peter 7th (34:38)
2010 Andrew 6th (34:59)
2011 Andrew 22nd (38:09) Peter 10th (36:38)
2012 Andrew 3rd(!!!!!!!) (32:56) (would have made him 2nd place this year!)
2013 Andrew 4th (33:46) Will 11th (36:39)
Another fun fact ~ When Peter was near the front when he was young, he saw Ryan Woods on a turn in front of him and yelled for him and cheered him on (while Peter was running up Grandfather!), because he wanted Ryan to win!
Sunday, July 6, 2014
More Church Updates
Last week, we were excited to have some visitors at church on Sunday and Wednesday night. It was great to see some friends and meet some new people. It is so nice to have that love and support.
Today, we had more visitors at church. Some we knew. Others we did not. And some we just had not yet met in person!
Our sermon today was on suffering. It was a great reminder to praise God in suffering and trust Him. We cannot expect to understand everything, but knowing that He is with us will help us get through. And what a great opportunity to share Who sees us through. We had communion too. Again, another time to remember the greatest sacrifice ever given - God's only Son for us. It seemed fitting to have communion this Sunday following the 4th of July when we remember the sacrifices made to keep our great country free. We don't need communion or the 4th to remind us of things we should ponder on every day. But they are times to get us back on track and remind us what we often take for granted.
After church, we went to eat with someone Pete had met through his job. She was a delight and gave a wonderful testimony about her trip to the Holy Land and how it has affected her - during her trip and when she got home. I look forward to going one day myself...
Another great thing about communion today is that we had to add more to what we had. What a blessing - to not have enough and to get a refill so everyone can participate!
Have a great week!
Today, we had more visitors at church. Some we knew. Others we did not. And some we just had not yet met in person!
Our sermon today was on suffering. It was a great reminder to praise God in suffering and trust Him. We cannot expect to understand everything, but knowing that He is with us will help us get through. And what a great opportunity to share Who sees us through. We had communion too. Again, another time to remember the greatest sacrifice ever given - God's only Son for us. It seemed fitting to have communion this Sunday following the 4th of July when we remember the sacrifices made to keep our great country free. We don't need communion or the 4th to remind us of things we should ponder on every day. But they are times to get us back on track and remind us what we often take for granted.
After church, we went to eat with someone Pete had met through his job. She was a delight and gave a wonderful testimony about her trip to the Holy Land and how it has affected her - during her trip and when she got home. I look forward to going one day myself...
Another great thing about communion today is that we had to add more to what we had. What a blessing - to not have enough and to get a refill so everyone can participate!
Have a great week!
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Sam's Stuff...Again!
Sometimes it seems Sam cannot catch a break on some things! His little eyes cross ever so slightly (but enough for people to make comments) when his glasses are off. But his eye surgery at age 2 was successful, and he can see. That's what is important - not the insensitive comments. His teeth have had such a hard time coming in! He had an extra tooth that garnered lots of comments. We had the nicest oral surgeon remove it -once we found out it was extra! Then one big front tooth came in, but in a year and a half the other did not. That has caused more comments! We went to an orthodontist who sent us back to the oral surgeon. In the time that we made the appointment, his other tooth started coming in quickly. And in the week between the consult and surgery, we literally changed what we were doing; because he no longer needed a slit cut in his gum. He had two baby teeth removed. He did not eat from 11:20 the night before until the afternoon of the next day. His surgery was at 11:00. He did well until right before. He did not get the meds until closer to 11:30. He was hungry, and his blood sugar was on its way down. But he held on and did well. He was very sweet and cooperative. Without moving, he said "Ow, ow, ow" a couple of times when getting the numbing shot. Such a sweet little brave boy.
We had gone to Walmart before we went, hoping a toy would take his attention from not eating breakfast. He asked Andrew (who was going to meet us at the doctor) to please go with him. They picked out a super Nerf gun. He was so excited and talked all about it in the doctor's office.
After the surgery, we got home; and he had all three brothers hovering over him and checking on him. The doctor's office called to check on him, and I assured them he was fine. Then his lip swelled. It was huge and scary. No one seemed too concerned, but I gave him his antibiotic (after it swelled) and ice. I went to help Pete with his cleaning jobs. Sam had eaten some, so his sugar was okay. His swelling had not gone down in hours, so I called one of our sweet nurses. She checked and told me to try a little Benadryl. He was mostly back to normal today, but it's still puffy. Pete thinks he bit his lip while everything was numb.
Well, when Mommy went back to Walmart for Benadryl after cleaning, I just got the Lego set he had picked out - too. He deserved both after such a day. He was hunched over in his little chair with his lip sticking way out putting together a new Lego set with the directions out in front of him. Next time I buy something from Ikea, I know who I will get to help me put it together!
Now we hope Sam's teeth will come in like they are supposed to. We hope this is the last of his "extra" stuff! We are thankful for those who prayed and checked on him yesterday! I am thankful for his brothers and their attention and time in taking care of him!
We had gone to Walmart before we went, hoping a toy would take his attention from not eating breakfast. He asked Andrew (who was going to meet us at the doctor) to please go with him. They picked out a super Nerf gun. He was so excited and talked all about it in the doctor's office.
After the surgery, we got home; and he had all three brothers hovering over him and checking on him. The doctor's office called to check on him, and I assured them he was fine. Then his lip swelled. It was huge and scary. No one seemed too concerned, but I gave him his antibiotic (after it swelled) and ice. I went to help Pete with his cleaning jobs. Sam had eaten some, so his sugar was okay. His swelling had not gone down in hours, so I called one of our sweet nurses. She checked and told me to try a little Benadryl. He was mostly back to normal today, but it's still puffy. Pete thinks he bit his lip while everything was numb.
Well, when Mommy went back to Walmart for Benadryl after cleaning, I just got the Lego set he had picked out - too. He deserved both after such a day. He was hunched over in his little chair with his lip sticking way out putting together a new Lego set with the directions out in front of him. Next time I buy something from Ikea, I know who I will get to help me put it together!
Now we hope Sam's teeth will come in like they are supposed to. We hope this is the last of his "extra" stuff! We are thankful for those who prayed and checked on him yesterday! I am thankful for his brothers and their attention and time in taking care of him!
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Thankful Today
Andrew and I were thankful to be at the neurologist's office and not be able to remember the date of his last seizure which was before the last appointment! Dr. Crittendon was glad too. He did a quick neuro exam and then left things as they are. He said he did not want to talk too much about what we have already talked about, because things are going well. We had increased a drug that is used with other seizure drugs. We were at the limit, and then neurologists started pushing that limit up 100 mg and had good results. So we hope we are at the max. We still pray for healing and for these to go away and for no medication, but we were all happy in that room today! Thank you, Lord!
Sam got home (again) before Andrew got to the bus stop! He was about 40 minutes early getting off today and just walked down our road. One problem is that a neighbor's dog ran at me and barked aggressively the other night. I yelled at it, and it stopped; but it kept acting like it was coming after me. That would terrify Sam. Andrew was getting ready to walk up the road when he saw Sam. When he checked Sam, he was 42. That is very low and can be dangerous. I am about to give up on the bus except Sam LOVES riding it, and I want him to continue to enjoy the reading camp. So I think I will just have Andrew go even earlier and call to see if the schedule has been changed. But I am thankful he got home safely and was not scared. He is growing up, and I want him to be independent; but with dogs and big cars going way too fast for our road, it scares me a little that he has walked alone down our road twice now. The bus driver is probably wondering where on earth we are!
He only has one more day this week and then has his teeth pulled and something else on Friday. Since he cannot eat, we are going to Walmart before we go to the oral surgeon. There is nothing like Legos or outside toys to play with your brothers to get your mind off breakfast!
Have a great rest of the week!
Sam got home (again) before Andrew got to the bus stop! He was about 40 minutes early getting off today and just walked down our road. One problem is that a neighbor's dog ran at me and barked aggressively the other night. I yelled at it, and it stopped; but it kept acting like it was coming after me. That would terrify Sam. Andrew was getting ready to walk up the road when he saw Sam. When he checked Sam, he was 42. That is very low and can be dangerous. I am about to give up on the bus except Sam LOVES riding it, and I want him to continue to enjoy the reading camp. So I think I will just have Andrew go even earlier and call to see if the schedule has been changed. But I am thankful he got home safely and was not scared. He is growing up, and I want him to be independent; but with dogs and big cars going way too fast for our road, it scares me a little that he has walked alone down our road twice now. The bus driver is probably wondering where on earth we are!
He only has one more day this week and then has his teeth pulled and something else on Friday. Since he cannot eat, we are going to Walmart before we go to the oral surgeon. There is nothing like Legos or outside toys to play with your brothers to get your mind off breakfast!
Have a great rest of the week!
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Church and VBS Today
We started Vacation Bible School tonight at church. We had a supper and then VBS and just got home a little bit ago. It was a small group, but I told Pete that I could just feel something wonderful tonight - a chance to speak to at least one child who was ready to listen. Even though I did not teach tonight, I was thankful for the opportunity to answer a question that was asked and share (along with another teacher) about Jesus. Pete had to go to Winston for work, so he missed the first night. I am anxious for him to be there tomorrow.
Pete is doing a series on the church for his first month of sermons at Middle Fork. He said doing a series is popular right now, so pastors can stick to a point for a few Sundays at least. Today was on giving. We had some visitors from Kentucky, but the message was so good for anyone and everyone to hear. We need to be obedient to God. We are accountable to God. The boys and I talked on the way home, and I told them that once you see how God provides, you can trust more and more easily. It was not prosperity preaching. In fact, it makes me glad I am not prosperous by earthly standards- too much to keep up with. And I need to remember all of the times that things seemed so out of reach - one of them being different medicines my children needed - and how God worked it all out. It doesn't mean I will never worry about money or bills, but I do appreciate the reminder of giving it over and doing what I can not to make it a huge focus or stumbling block in my life.
There are so many ways of giving - other than money. We did not have time for those this morning, but I was thinking of time and gifts and donations and volunteering. I think of Christmas time and those who need a card, maybe not even money but just some contact. I think of hardworking families that don't have any outside help and how we need to look around us and help where we can. I think of lonely people who need to have lunch or get a card in the mail. Years ago, I tried to cut down my Christmas card list - or at least the number of people I sent a Christmas picture of my boys to. It was just not worth it. I know some of those pictures end up in the trash, but I would rather take that chance than to take away a blessing someone may get. I know how much I love getting cards and pictures and how much I appreciate it! We talked tonight about shoeboxes. And it makes me think about helping people far and wide - in the name of Jesus and trying to reflect His love. And to give happily and out of the abundance He gives.
I sang in church this morning. I have not sung in church in years, but Pete asked me to. I was just trying to be willing. So I sang "What Love is This?" because the words are beautiful and talk about the love Jesus has for me - that He gave His life for me and made a way for me to know Him. Andrew is learning to do the sound and did an excellent job. He knew I was a little wobbly at first, and Pete got up out of his seat and came to stand beside me while I sang. It almost did me in. I was already feeling so emotional singing of how much God loves me - me individually. Like He loves you. You, individually. But I tried to get all of the words out because they were important. I did not look at anyone. I looked at my words that I have totally memorized. And I looked up at the beautiful wooden beams like I was looking up at Him. It was not about me singing - it was about the song sung to Him about His love. I think the boys had a bet that I would probably cry, but they were mainly joking with me on the way home. They know why I get emotional, and that is what is important.
I had a chance to talk more to the wonderful people at our new church, and God has blessed me at a time when I felt so resistant. Change is hard for me. I trust God, and it's still so hard. I have felt such turmoil in the past several weeks. People I depend on seem so far away. Pete prayed with me yesterday (again on the way to the dump with yet another load - my basement is looking better and better!). His prayer was right on and so much more than I had shared and told him I needed. He must be more observant than I have realized the past few weeks - and God laid it all on his heart. So as we got rid of more "stuff", I also felt some of the weight I have been carrying lift. It's not all gone, but I know it's going. I appreciate those who call and check on me. I feel apologetic for seeming so out of sorts, but they gently remind me to keep trying to get back on track.
I may not be off as much as I think. Casting Crowns has a song that says your world is not falling apart but falling into place - which I see as a huge puzzle that we cannot totally see. We trust that what we go through is part of the big picture. And it talks about God being on the throne and being in control, so we just need to give up hanging onto our burdens. I think I listened to it five times yesterday.
I promised a little person chicken nuggets. He is at 150, and I hope he holds that up until bedtime and through the night! He catches a bus at 6:30 right now for a summer reading program and will not let me take him at a later time. He loves riding the bus. He goes Friday to the oral surgeon to have two baby teeth out and a slit in his gums to help his front top teeth come in and space out better. He seems fine with that. It will be tricky to keep him at a good number without eating - his surgery is at 11. But we have planned to sleep in and then go to Walmart for a treat before his appointment so maybe eating won't be too much on his mind! It can be scary if they are out of it and start dropping, so we appreciate prayers for a smooth time then.
Have a great week. Thanks for reading this and for praying for our family.
Pete is doing a series on the church for his first month of sermons at Middle Fork. He said doing a series is popular right now, so pastors can stick to a point for a few Sundays at least. Today was on giving. We had some visitors from Kentucky, but the message was so good for anyone and everyone to hear. We need to be obedient to God. We are accountable to God. The boys and I talked on the way home, and I told them that once you see how God provides, you can trust more and more easily. It was not prosperity preaching. In fact, it makes me glad I am not prosperous by earthly standards- too much to keep up with. And I need to remember all of the times that things seemed so out of reach - one of them being different medicines my children needed - and how God worked it all out. It doesn't mean I will never worry about money or bills, but I do appreciate the reminder of giving it over and doing what I can not to make it a huge focus or stumbling block in my life.
There are so many ways of giving - other than money. We did not have time for those this morning, but I was thinking of time and gifts and donations and volunteering. I think of Christmas time and those who need a card, maybe not even money but just some contact. I think of hardworking families that don't have any outside help and how we need to look around us and help where we can. I think of lonely people who need to have lunch or get a card in the mail. Years ago, I tried to cut down my Christmas card list - or at least the number of people I sent a Christmas picture of my boys to. It was just not worth it. I know some of those pictures end up in the trash, but I would rather take that chance than to take away a blessing someone may get. I know how much I love getting cards and pictures and how much I appreciate it! We talked tonight about shoeboxes. And it makes me think about helping people far and wide - in the name of Jesus and trying to reflect His love. And to give happily and out of the abundance He gives.
I sang in church this morning. I have not sung in church in years, but Pete asked me to. I was just trying to be willing. So I sang "What Love is This?" because the words are beautiful and talk about the love Jesus has for me - that He gave His life for me and made a way for me to know Him. Andrew is learning to do the sound and did an excellent job. He knew I was a little wobbly at first, and Pete got up out of his seat and came to stand beside me while I sang. It almost did me in. I was already feeling so emotional singing of how much God loves me - me individually. Like He loves you. You, individually. But I tried to get all of the words out because they were important. I did not look at anyone. I looked at my words that I have totally memorized. And I looked up at the beautiful wooden beams like I was looking up at Him. It was not about me singing - it was about the song sung to Him about His love. I think the boys had a bet that I would probably cry, but they were mainly joking with me on the way home. They know why I get emotional, and that is what is important.
I had a chance to talk more to the wonderful people at our new church, and God has blessed me at a time when I felt so resistant. Change is hard for me. I trust God, and it's still so hard. I have felt such turmoil in the past several weeks. People I depend on seem so far away. Pete prayed with me yesterday (again on the way to the dump with yet another load - my basement is looking better and better!). His prayer was right on and so much more than I had shared and told him I needed. He must be more observant than I have realized the past few weeks - and God laid it all on his heart. So as we got rid of more "stuff", I also felt some of the weight I have been carrying lift. It's not all gone, but I know it's going. I appreciate those who call and check on me. I feel apologetic for seeming so out of sorts, but they gently remind me to keep trying to get back on track.
I may not be off as much as I think. Casting Crowns has a song that says your world is not falling apart but falling into place - which I see as a huge puzzle that we cannot totally see. We trust that what we go through is part of the big picture. And it talks about God being on the throne and being in control, so we just need to give up hanging onto our burdens. I think I listened to it five times yesterday.
I promised a little person chicken nuggets. He is at 150, and I hope he holds that up until bedtime and through the night! He catches a bus at 6:30 right now for a summer reading program and will not let me take him at a later time. He loves riding the bus. He goes Friday to the oral surgeon to have two baby teeth out and a slit in his gums to help his front top teeth come in and space out better. He seems fine with that. It will be tricky to keep him at a good number without eating - his surgery is at 11. But we have planned to sleep in and then go to Walmart for a treat before his appointment so maybe eating won't be too much on his mind! It can be scary if they are out of it and start dropping, so we appreciate prayers for a smooth time then.
Have a great week. Thanks for reading this and for praying for our family.
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