Andrew Update ~ July 12, 2018

Instead of the excitement of The Bear, we are here at Duke.  I thought about the nice cool air on top of Grandfather Mountain.  The excitement.  The anticipation of seeing the first runner and looking to see who it is!  The year Andrew won!  The year Will decided to run and got 11th after riding his bike a lot.  Hiking up the trail and walking down the road.  Seeing tons of friends we don't see often and making new ones.  We really missed it tonight, but we hope others had fun.  We hope to be back next year.

We will miss the marathon too on Saturday.  Andrew and his dad and Peter have helped at the finish with the food and drinks for as long as I can remember.  Pete did it and then started taking the boys.  They loved helping their dad and Coach Curcio.  I took over a few years ago and had such fun.

I have been taking up entirely too much space on facebook, so I thought I would write an update and then update a little bit there.  It's past my bedtime already, so I will try to make this short!

We got here Tuesday and came to Andrew's pre op appointment.  There seemed to be confusion on whether or not he was going to be admitted Tuesday.  We finally were told he would be, so we went over to the main hospital (from the clinics) and were put on the neuro floor.

We were there and watched a whole movie on Pete's lap top, while we waited for someone to talk to us.  We had one nurse tell us he was leaving soon, so another nurse came in near the end of the movie.

I left around 9:00, and Pete fell asleep.  Before I left, I told two nurses I had Andrew's meds and was not sure what they were going to do.  They said they would use meds from the pharmacy, and I knew that; but we always bring his medications.  I don't think he had any seizure meds on Tuesday night.  And I don't know if that was planned, but I was surprised because they did not want him to have seizures before or during the placement of the electrodes ~ the brain surgery.

So on Wednesday, I thought to ask Andrew if he'd had a shower the night before.  He had not.  He was supposed to use special antibiotic sponges if we had stayed at the hotel.  I told the nurse.  She got him some bottled stuff and a towel, so he could take a shower in the bathroom in his room.  He had to be super careful because he did already have an IV.  I was not feeling really good at that point, and I called Pete to bring a hair dryer; because he had a little bit of time before they were taking him to get ready for surgery.

Pete brought it, and I dried Andrew's hair.  He was sitting in the bed, and a doctor came in to talk to him.  I heard him draw a big breath.  I heard him start another, and I told the doctor he was getting ready to have a seizure.  He did.  It was awful.  A really bad one.  No one came in.  The doctor was on one side, and I was on the other talking to him and praying for him.  When it ended, he rolled over in pain.  I knew it was pain.  I told the doctor something was not right and that I hoped he had not dislocated his shoulder.

He had.  His right shoulder...again.  Just like last time we were here.  Fast forward past many conversations and hours of terrible pain, and they set Andrew's shoulder in place when he was put to sleep for his original surgery.  He went in around 12.  It was hard to leave him.  But the doctor prayed a wonderful prayer and even prayed scripture.  That made it easier.  But it was hard to let him go.

We had a few updates while in the waiting room.  It took much longer than we thought and were told.  But we knew we were getting updates.  Another fast forward to talking to the neurosurgeon.  Dr. Haglund said all of the electrodes went in fine...except one.  They had to get it back out.  So they had to cut a hole in his skull to get it out.  I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone, but I also felt calm (so thanks for the prayers).  Dr. Haglund stayed until they got Andrew awake, so he could check his left side and also make sure he had not had extra bleeding.  Then Andrew was moved to neuro ICU and had the VIP room on the end on the 8th floor.  It had the prettiest view.  He slept well and was up pretty early.

By the time I got there about 7:30, Andrew was sound asleep but had been up and walked a loop around the ICU with his nurse.  He ate a tiny bit of fruit and drank some chocolate milk.  He slept and then walked two more loops before the techs hooked him up to the monitors.

Then they put him in a smaller bed and moved him back to the EMU (epilepsy monitoring unit) ~ in the same room as last fall!

He has slept a lot today and eaten very little.  His head hurt just a little bit.  His shoulder feels good, so far.

There was talk of unwrapping his head and pulling one electrode out just a tiny bit - but that would be bedside.  As a man, who was in his surgery yesterday, started to unwrap his head, I asked if they were still doing it.  Our nurse had just told us they did not have to after all.  Fast forward again.  The man called his boss who called someone else.  And Andrew's head stayed wrapped.

He also is not supposed to take all of his meds tonight.  So we will see.  He may start having seizures tonight.  They don't want them lumped together, so we are praying there is some space and rest in between.  But...that is part of the reason we are here.  The seizures are not on anyone's schedule!

Andrew was up a lot Tuesday night getting an MRI and CT and other tests.  So the lack of sleep and medicine probably set him off.  He had a plan to drink caffeine and not sleep, so we will see.

Thanks for praying.  God has given us assurance when we have needed it.  We don't know what we would do without Him.

I am off to bed.  Pete is returning to Boone Saturday to conduct a funeral.  He will stay for Sunday morning services and then come back.  Whitney is coming to stay with us while he is gone.  Sam is having way too much fun in Bristol and Abingdon.  My grandmother is sick and in the hospital, so everyone is stretched a little bit thin there.  I appreciate their help.  We appreciate everyone's help and prayers.  Especially those prayers.

Part of what Dr. Haglund prayed was Philippians 4.  We also just had it read at church, and verse 8 really spoke to me.  But 6 & 7 really helped yesterday!

Thanks again for praying.

We will be here in the same place until next Wednesday, the 18th, when the electrodes will surgically be removed.  Then he will have to stay another couple of days to recover.  We hope to find out in a few weeks if they think the big surgery will help him.  He will also have follow up for his shoulder.

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Meditate on These Things

8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.  Philippians 4:6-9

We leave on July 10th

I have to stay up for a little while tonight, and I am too tired and hot to work more on the house; so I will update this one more time before we go to Duke next week.

This week will be a slight challenge with doctor appointments in Winston and Charlotte.  I have a lot to get done at work before I go, but we have been planning; and I hope to have most of it done by Monday anyway.

Pete's mom will be here until next Sunday.  She has been with us almost six weeks.  When she first came, we thought it was for a few days.  But it quickly became apparent that things had drastically changed.  While others are still working on doctor appointments and other things, we have tried to answer questions and keep things calm and peaceful, as much as we can.  But tonight, after asking similar questions all day, she was even more confused.  Pete actually got out of bed to show her her room and bathroom (Sam's room and hall bath).  Not two minutes before, I was telling her about Pop, when she showed me his picture again and asked about him, and how Meg would be able to tell her tons of stories when she visits with her.  She will go to Charlie's first - her oldest son.  And then Meg's the next week.  The first time she asked Pete who his parents were, it made him cry.  Now she is having trouble remembering Pop.  It is heartbreaking.  Pete is so patient with her and jokes with her and gives us all a good laugh and break in the middle of tough days.  We would appreciate prayer for her - and peace and calm.  We have had some good talks, and we have had some really tough days.  The boys, especially Sam and Andrew, have been really good with her.  We know things will probably change once we get back from Duke, if she continues to change so much and so fast.

Today has been a day of washing bedding on almost everyone's beds, bathing two big dogs, cleaning kitchen cabinets and the floor, packing some things we will need on our trip, cleaning out cabinets, throwing away a bunch of stuff, and then watching a good movie on TV.  I am tired but happy to have gotten so much done.  Will had mowed with a mower he is trying to sell, so that was extra helpful - and we got those stripes in our yard.  Pete had put up an extra handrail on our back steps for his mom.  He worked on it and finished it yesterday when 421 was closed, and he knew he could not risk not being able to get back home if he was needed.  Last week was Bible School, so I could not do much during the week.  It was fun, and I am so glad children came and that we had such wonderful help.

So next Monday, I will try to get everyone ready.  Sam is going with Whitney and Laura.  His suitcase has been open on an extra bed in Peter's room for over a month.  He has so many things packed and is so excited!  I hope they are ready for him.  He spent his 13th birthday last year at Duke, so we are thankful they offered to keep him.  It's tough on a young man to be right there and watch all he had to watch and experience.  We take it for granted, but I sometimes step back and see a boy who struggles with so much.  Yet, he is the one who calmly alerts me to things and slips up beside us with Andrew's emergency medicine during a seizure, without us even asking yet.  He calmly gets wash cloths and waits to see what else we may need.  When Sam was very young, Andrew had a seizure while resting on the couch while I had run to get the other boys at school.  Sam just patted him and told him he would be okay and did not let him fall.  God will have a special place for him, and I have to remember that - especially when school gets harder and harder.  On this trip, I am happy he does not have to go; but I am also sad that I won't have the best companion and buddy.  He and Pete found some great lunch places in Durham last year and would go to the Dollar Tree.  And there is no one who can get you out of that hospital maze and back to your car like Sam!

Peter visited us for a short time this weekend.  We miss him so much.  Will will be home and watching and feeding the dogs while we are gone.  My parents will be here some to help and check on things, as will some of my friends.  So the house will be well watched.  Our neighbor and Will's boss is very familiar with our house, as it was his grandmother's house.  So it makes us feel better to know they are there.  We appreciate the help that we have and what has been offered.  We have people taking over our extra cleaning jobs and Pete's church responsibilities and appreciate ALL of them.

Right now, we are on schedule to go to Duke on Tuesday, July 10.  Andrew has an appointment with the anesthesiologist after lunch.  Then they will send us on over to the hospital.  He will spend the night and have surgery the next day, the 11th.  Then he will go to ICU for the night, since it is brain surgery.  My friend who has been through all of this with her husband told me to make sure Pete stays with him there.  If all goes well, he should be in the EMU by Thursday and get hooked up and taken off his meds.  That already seems like a long time to us.  I will ask people to pray for them to get the information they need once he is ready to go.  I know he dreads it.  I do too.  But we pray this will be the path to more independence and freedom for him.  We all hate these seizures.  It's gotten so much harder as he has gotten older.  Pete and I will be there the whole time, unless he feels he can come back for Sunday morning services.  If he does, Whitney will come down to be with us.  One of us has to be in the room at all times.  Our hotel is a five minute walk away, so we can switch off more often.  I think that will help.  Pete is the one who can sleep in those hospital chairs.  Andrew can have visitors, but the rooms are tiny.  He probably won't know anyone is there after a few days. 

I know most people don't understand.  I would be scared of someone with seizures if I did not have to deal with it. I still am.  It's watching my phone all of the time.  It's calling or texting Andrew to ask him a random question when I hear an ambulance and want to make sure it's not for him.  Running upstairs if I hear something fall or hear a noise.  Sleeping in the floor or on the couch to make sure we hear him at night.  It's being on high alert, only to calm down and to be hit again.  It's so unpredictable.  I have been told many times by well meaning people that they just could not handle having to deal with a child with seizures.  And I want to scream, "I cannot either!!!"  But that's the WHOLE point.  I cannot.  Andrew cannot.  Pete cannot.  We have to depend on God.  We have to.  And we want to, so that works out.  But we are hoping and praying that God heals him through this surgery.  We know He can.  We just don't know if it's His plan for Andrew.  It's hard.  I would trade it.  I remember Pete telling a doctor at the hospital at one of our most overwhelming moments (when Sam was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes) that he would much rather Andrew have diabetes too - instead of seizures.  Oh, if we could choose.  But we can't.

We have to remain hopeful and be thankful for all of those God has put in our paths to help us.  There are some the same for Pete and me and some different.  Yes, I get my feelings hurt when people don't act like they care or ask about Andrew, even when his upcoming stay is right in front of them.  BUT, they are people.  I have missed many things too.  That is why I am updating now instead of later.  I will ask people to pray when we need that for him, but I need to step back and pray and study my Bible and get ready myself.  Because as much as this feels like it's about me too, it's really not.  Pete and I will be there to help him. And our focus needs to be and will be on him.  God gave him to us for a reason, and we need to do our very best with His help.  So we need to be as ready as we can to be there with him and for him.

On Wednesday, July 18, he will have the "strips" surgically removed.  They don't do it earlier, even if he has all of his seizures in 24 hours like last time.  I think it has to do with messing with his brain again so soon.  He will come home that Friday or Saturday.  He will have to sleep a certain way because of potential swelling.  Dr. Zimmerman is taking his staples out here a couple of weeks after.  He will probably take six weeks to recover.  Whitney and Laura got him a recliner, so that he can rest in the family room where we can keep a better eye on him.  He tried it out last night and really liked it.  He has kindles and a tablet, so we are trying to make sure all of those are ready to go.  We are getting him a gel pad to sit on to hopefully help his lower back in that bed.  And Pete and I will try to get the bed down when he starts having a seizure, so we can hopefully save his back and shoulders some.  We learned some things ourselves last time.

We will go back in August and see the neurologist for a follow up.  As soon as everyone meets and discusses the results of this EEG, we will meet with the neurosurgeon again (a neat story about him in an earlier blog post).  If he is a candidate for the big surgery, he will find out then.  He can stop the process at any time.  But Andrew knows that the medications are not working for him now for some reason.  Truly, Andrew and I agree that the "big" surgery does not sound as bad as what we are getting ready to do.  But, we also remember that what we are doing is not as bad as what we originally thought.  So all of that helps.

I guess another reason I needed to go ahead and write this is because if I think about it too much, I feel physically sick.  Like I could just throw up.  In my earlier days, I had trouble visiting my grandmother in the hospital.  I would literally turn green.  I went to see Eric Kistner after he had his tonsils out and just about passed out.  I was white as a sheet.  God has worked it out for me to go into all of these hospitals and not have any issues now.  But I know how I am deep down.  But the thing is, He does too.  And He will get me through my part in this.  I think this sick feeling is a reminder to give it to Him.  It's not me at all.

I am sure Andrew would appreciate cards.  I have no idea what the hospital does, but our home address is 361 Harrison Road, Boone, NC  28607.  I am sure he will love to hear that people are praying.

This is long, so I will close.  Thanks to those of you who pray.  Thanks for those who encourage us in many ways.

I heard this Natalie Grant song today.  It's always a good reminder to me about what I should want.  And it helps my focus.

More Than Anything ~ Natalie Grant

I know if you wanted to you could wave your hand
Spare me this heartache and change your plan
And I know any second you could take my pain away
But even if you don't I pray

Help me want the Healer more than the healing
Help me want the Savior more than the saving
Help me want the Giver more than the giving
Help me want you Jesus more than anything

You know more than anyone that my flesh is weak
And you know I'd give anything for a remedy
And I'll ask a thousand more times to set me free today
Oh but even if you don't I pray

Help me want the Healer more than the healing
Help me want the Savior more than the saving
Help me want the Giver more than the giving
Oh Help me want you Jesus more than anything

When I'm desperate and my hearts overcome
All that I need you've already done
When I'm desperate and my hearts overcome
All that I need you've already done

Oh Jesus Help me want you more than anything

Help me want the Healer more than the healing
Help me want the Savior more than the saving
Help me want the Giver more than the giving
Help me want you Jesus more than anything
Help me want you Jesus more than anything

And the Bible verse attached to my computer at work helps so much too.  Thanks again for praying!

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13


As God would allow, we talked about the Holy Spirit at church this morning.  We had combined church with Laurel Springs out at Parkway School.  I wrote this last night and heard what I needed to hear this morning.  Praise the Lord for once again letting me know He is right here.  What a comfort He is.  What power there is in being a child of the King!  He is in control, so we don't have to be.

Another June update...

We just found out that Andrew will stay until Friday or Saturday after he gets his electrodes out on Wednesday, July 18.  I need to find some more books to put on my kindle.

Thank you again for those who ask ~ especially so you can pray.  We need a lot of prayer.  That's what we need.

Sunday, we had a lot of family and friends (who are family) at our church for Father's Day.  We prayed for Andrew at the end of the service.  He appreciated that so  much.

As we walk through another difficult week trying to get ready for things, I was up too late last night.  I was watching Sam's numbers and answering Sarah's questions over and over.  I finally sat at the computer and started pulling up some songs.  I love "Here" by Kari Jobe.  I think the song and music both are very calming and reassuring. 


"Here"  Kari Jobe

Come and rest here
Come and lay your burdens down
Come and rest here
There is refuge for you now

[Pre-Chorus:]
You'll find His peace
And know you're not alone anymore
He is near
You'll find His healing
Your heart isn't shattered anymore
He is here

[Chorus:]
Breathe in
Breathe out
You will
You will find Him here

[Bridge:]
I will rest in You

[Outro:]
You will find Him
You will find Him here
You will find Him
You will find Him here

Then I listened to Selah's "I Got Saved" and was set for the night.  I stayed up a little too late reading, but that was my peaceful time for the day after saying my prayers.  I prayed especially for our country, my boys as usual, Pete, and so many other things on my heart and mind.  I can have peace, because of what Selah's song is about!


"I Got Saved"  Selah

There is a river of gladness
That pours from Emmanuel's veins
This sinner was plunged beneath the flood
And got saved

Since then I walk in forgiveness
All of my guilt was erased
The chains of the past
Are broken at last
I got saved
Oh, I got saved

I'm undone by the mercy of Jesus
I'm undone by the goodness of the Lord
I'm restored and made right
He got a hold of my life
I've got Jesus
How could I want more

I've received nothing but goodness
I've tested and tasted Your grace
I was so lost
'Til I fell at the cross
And got saved
Oh, I got saved

I'm undone by the mercy of Jesus
I'm undone by the goodness of the Lord
I'm restored and made right
He got a hold of my life
I've got Jesus
How could I want more

The love of God
Gave me His pardon
The love of God
Won't let me stay the same
The love of God
Pulls me up higher
His will is stronger
That's why I got saved

I'm undone by the mercy of Jesus
I'm undone by the goodness of the Lord
I'm restored and made right
He got a hold of my life
I've got Jesus
How could I want more

I'm undone by the mercy of Jesus
I'm undone by the goodness of the Lord
I'm restored and made right
He got a hold of my life
I've got Jesus
How could I want more

I've got Jesus
How could I want more

I've got Jesus
How could I want more

Again, thanks for checking on us.  We appreciate every single pray and word of encouragement ~ but especially the prayers. 

June Update

It's hard to believe we are halfway through June!  I have too many things on my to do list!

I put a lot about Andrew in my May post, but I know many have asked about his upcoming surgery.  We will go to Duke on July 10, and his first surgery is July 11.  It is brain surgery to place electrodes in his brain for more testing.  It will be a very tough several days, I have been told many times, and we are starting to feel a little anxious and would appreciate prayers.  I got a new Bible study that I hope to start in the next day or so to combat what I am feeling!  I'll go to the Truth and get that encouragement and confidence that only comes from God.  They will not surgically remove the electrodes until July 18.  I still do not have an exact date when we will be home, but hopefully right after that.  Andrew will probably take about six weeks to recover - many different things can happen.  Then they will set his next surgery.  We appreciate those who know it's coming and have checked on him and us.

It's been another trying few weeks.  Our guest makes things different at home.  We appreciate the boys' help with all of that.  We pray every day to be able to figure out how to care with love and grace.  We are not sure what will be in the near future; but, for right now, everyone seems safe and secure.  Tonight has been tougher; but that seems to be the pattern, according to what I have read.

We lost a sweet friend today.  She was only 81.  Pete had visited with Jewel and Hobert twice recently, but I told him I would go the next time.  And now, I will see her next time in Heaven.  My last visit with her was at her home, and I could have sat there for hours more to listen to stories of their younger days.  We are praying for Hobert, such an example of a friend and husband to Jewel.  We will miss her sweet encouragement and timely cards in the mail.

Andrew had an appointment in Charlotte yesterday with Dr. Patel.  We got his "number" today, and it was 905.  Excellent.  It was under 190 when we started this journey with Dr. Patel about seven years ago - low enough for people to be in the hospital too sick to function.  We love Dr. Patel and his commitment to helping Andrew and others.  We were shocked to find out he had been in a terrible accident, since we last saw him.  In the last few months, he has been recovering from a 40 foot fall onto lava rock (harder than concrete) in Hawaii.  He did not hit his head, but he had a pelvic fracture and pretty much destroyed his right forearm.  He also had internal bleeding.  We are so thankful he is still here!

Thanks for praying for us.  Thanks for asking about Andrew.  We are anxious to get this next step behind us!

May Update

I cannot even believe it's the end of May!  How fast this year is going!  I knew it would be a hard year- because of Andrew's surgery looming and because Pop was so sick.  We did not expect Pop to die so early in the year.  We miss him so much.  We find so much peace and comfort in knowing he knew Jesus on this earth, and we will see him again.

Andrew continues to have seizures, even on three of the strongest seizure meds.  He graduated in May!  He has one more internship to finish up his second major.  We are so happy to have two ASU graduates.  He goes to the doctor on Monday, June 4th, at Duke.  We will see the neurologist one more time before we go in July.  He should go in on July 10 and stay 7-9 days.  We are so thankful that Laura and Whitney will keep Sam this time.  The room is so tiny.  It is hard to be "trapped" in that room that is overrun with equipment and many people at times.  But at least we know more what to expect, once we get into the room.  The placement of the electrodes is brain surgery too, a preliminary one.  He will spend the first night in ICU.  I have a new friend who went through this with her husband, and she has already given me some good information.  I have one more person I can contact, but something keeps popping up when I try.  I know Pete is the one to spend the night in ICU with him.  When he had his accident, I remember thinking I could not do the Duke trip alone.  We are trying to think of what we can take that will make things easier.

His last seizure was a week ago on Friday.  Sam, Andrew, and I were so excited to go to Event Church in downtown Bristol (on the 18th of each month over the next few months).  We were spending the night to have a yard sale with family beside Boulder Look.  I had left to take my mom and Sam home.  Laura called me just as they had gotten out of the car at my parents' house.  I flew back to downtown.  The firemen came from the station across the street (Thanks to Cindy for getting them).  They gave him oxygen which helped him bounce back fast.  Two of my nephews took him over the next two days.  He went bowling, landscaping, eating, picking up washers and dryers, and just had a good time hanging out with them.  It was the first time a lot of my family had seen him have a seizure.  He tried to tell my brother-in-law he was having a seizure, but he could only say his name - Dwayne.  And Dwayne instantly knew.  Dwayne and Whitney helped him down, so he did not fall or hit his head.  My dad prayed for him with all of the others still there.  I am so grateful for the help.  God shows me that He has it even when I am not there.

Back to Duke.  It does make a difference that we will be working with the neurosurgeon's team.  I get the feeling it will be much different than random people, like last time, which was hit or miss.  He can have visitors, but he may not know they are there.  I know Will and Peter are planning to come over the weekend to check on him.  I am trying to prepare the "things" we need and to be prepared and peaceful in my heart about all of this.  It's tough.  I am looking forward to it being over.

If all goes well with that hospital stay and testing, he will have the brain surgery about six weeks later.  No dates on that yet.  That will take planning.  The actual stay may not be as long, but he has a chance of lots of temporary things like paralysis that we need to plan for - if that is what they still say after more testing.  We will be asking for and taking all of the prayers people are willing to pray.  I don't know what we'd do without our praying people.

Pete is recovering well from the accident.  He goes to the ortho again Monday to have his neck rechecked.  We had my mom and aunt pull a good sized sliver of glass out of his forehead at lunch on Mother's Day.  I got another big piece out this weekend - a month later!  We hope that is it.  We are very thankful.  Dealing with the other driver's insurance has been a pain, and we just got a big list of things to do today.  Evidently, no one is in any hurry to get what is needed.  No one calls back.  It has taken a lot of time and effort that we really don't have right now.  The truck is gone.  That brought on a lot of tears - the mean person assigned to deal with that.  It's like the grumpy lady that comes to Boone yard sales and points out that your stuff is dirty or no good or that no one will want it.  So she can get a good price - or stick it in her bag and take it for free!  That's what he reminded me of!  I cried when the truck was gone.  But again, we are very thankful it was not worse.

We have someone in our family who used to read this blog, so I have to be careful what I say.  This person is very confused and getting worse.  We have a guest indefinitely right now.  And that can be very challenging.  And add to all of the other.  But having someone take time out of their busy day and stand at my office door to pray for me yesterday made all of the difference.  Some of the weight was definitely lifted.  And the promised prayers by text or messages means everything.  We appreciate them all.  It's sad to see someone in that state.  And it's hard when you are not quite sure how to handle things.  When Pete had his accident, lots of people said they'd pray.  And we appreciate that.  But I really appreciate that ones who say they are doing it right then and just pray on the phone or in person or whatever.

I have lots to plan and wrap up before July 10.  We are ready for school to be out.  Sam has EOG's this week.  It has gotten to me - all of the posts and conversations I have heard.  I so wish I could drop him off at school and let him be like the other children and learn.  But I cannot imagine sitting to take a reading EOG that you cannot read.  But that is exactly what he faced today.  This boy came outside the other night to sweep off the driveway and walkway in front of the house so I could go in and watch Jeopardy with Pete and his mom.  He appears at the car when I drive up and need help with groceries.  He slips up and gives a quick hug even before I knew I needed it.  He is just the most thoughtful and precious boy ever.  But sometimes I hate that he is so farsighted and left handed and has so many learning disabilities and the diabetes is endless and he is shy and can get very anxious and it's so hard to watch all of that.  But then I saw another story on Finn.

And I realized that things could be so much worse.  We are working on the reading at ASU.  We have not given up.  High school is looming soon, and I am praying about that.  What is best for him?  And I know there are others out there who struggle - the student who has a hard time or the parent watching and trying to make the best decisions to help them.

But I see this family praying for another million or so dollars to be raised so that a clinical drug to cure Hunter Syndrome can finish being made.  It has been started, but they are still raising money.  There are less than 500 boys who have this syndrome.  It is horrible, and I cannot imagine how Finn's parents feel as they hope and pray the money will be raised, the drug manufactured, and see their son cured.  Thank goodness they believe in Jesus.  I don't know how they would go through this without Him.  And I prayed about my "problems" and concerns again and asked God to guide me.  And I am praying for Finn and his family.  His name is Finn Muedder, if you want to read his story and help with the $15 donations.  You can give more, but they are asking 100,000 people to give $15.

I sometimes wish I had tons of money, so that I could give gifts to people who help us or to people who are having a hard time.  It is humbling to be on the receiving end of gifts.  One day several years ago, my mom pulled a wad of money her church had taken up to help us with some medical expenses.  She said she was sorry.  That she knew I would rather be a giver than a receiver.  But she said that sometimes we need to be willing to be on the receiving end.  And it's not because I don't want sickness in my family - that I would pay to have it happen to someone else!  When I went to pick up my car the other day, I had to unexpectedly get two new tires because of one nail!  It wasn't the end of the world but was one more thing.  When I walked in, all of the service people were happy to tell me someone had paid over half my bill!  I was so thankful and humbled by that.  The list of people who knew was very short, so I know who it was.  And that person only did it to be helpful and not to be known or recognized.  I thanked her anyway.  So I know Finn's family wishes they did not have to ask.  But it's not just for their son.  It's for all of the boys who have this awful disease and all of those who will be diagnosed.  I am thankful to Robin Leonard for sharing and bringing this back to my attention.  I missed it the first time.

I am getting the boys' pictures done on Saturday.  Pete started grooming Lucy, so she will need to wear a bandanna - because she is on the waiting list for the professional grooming.  Part of my boys will only wear certain things, so I have had to really work to coordinate what I have so far!  I have wanted this sweet friend to take their pictures since they were very little, so I decided it was time.  Before Andrew goes to the hospital and may have a month recovery like last Labor Day.  Knowing we got some great pictures will somehow comfort me.  I appreciate her working us into her very busy schedule.

This is much longer than I meant for it to be.  I am still on the tough journey.  Some days it's hard to sing or hard to sing without breaking down and crying a lot.  But I will keep on singing.  He is right here with me.  He won't leave.  The days may be tough sometimes, but that is when I can see Him more.  You all know me.  I cannot do anything.  Only through Christ and with God's help does anything of mine ever get done. 

One of the guys at church is going to sing this song in the next week or so at church.  And I cannot wait!  I love the words, so I will share them here.  Google it.  You will be encouraged too.  Thanks for reading and for praying.  I am trying not to skip to Thanksgiving or Christmas in my mind and just hang on until then.  I want to walk through this year leaning on Him and confidently watching to see what He will do and how He will work (not me) in all of these situations.  And there is so much work to do.  I sometimes feel like a target, but that is a good thing.  I have people on my heart and mind who don't know Jesus.  And sharing Him is most important.  We are talking ETERNAL investment and decisions.  Thanks again!

Do It Again ~ Elevation Worship

[Verse 1]
Walking around these walls
I thought by now they'd fall
But You have never failed me yet
Waiting for change to come
Knowing the battle's won
For You have never failed me yet

[Chorus 1]
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You've never failed me yet

[Verse 2]
I know the night won't last
Your Word will come to pass
My heart will sing Your praise again
Jesus, You're still enough
Keep me within Your love
My heart will sing Your praise again

[Chorus 2]
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You've never failed
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You've never failed me yet

[Bridge]
I've seen You move, You move the mountains
And I believe, I'll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I'll see You do it again
I've seen You move, You move the mountains
And I believe, I'll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I'll see You do it again
I've seen You move, You move the mountains
And I believe, I'll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I'll see You do it again
I'll see You do it again

[Chorus 2]
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You've never failed
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You've never failed me yet

[Outro]
Oh, You've never failed me yet
And I never will forget
You've never failed me yet
And I never will forget

Pete's Accident

After a great Saturday at the track meet celebrating Coach Weaver's upcoming retirement, our Sunday was not that great!

Pete had gone to bed early Saturday night.  I had waited up on Andrew and gone to bed late.  I did not know he had left extremely early to go and clean an office and listen to some commentary and sermons and finish getting ready for Sunday at church.  He often goes early, just not that early.

A little after 2:00 am, my phone rang.  It's eerie when the phone rings in the still of the night.  I was really really tired, so the first miracle is that I heard it and picked up.  It's not unusual for his phone to randomly call me, so I was not even sure he was really calling!  I heard his voice and his heavy breathing.  There was a sort of panic or urgency in his voice, and it did not sound like him at all.  He said he'd been in an automobile accident and needed me to call 911.  Of course I was hopping out of bed and about to panic all at once.  I told myself, quickly, to calm down and asked where he was.  He told me he was at Deerfield and Wilson's Ridge.  Then I realized I had to hang up to call 911.  I told him I would call and get there ASAP.

I yelled at Andrew and Will.  I envisioned him at the intersection of Wilson's Ridge and Bamboo and thought maybe he'd gone over the bank.  I had NO details, except he was breathing heavily and told me he was hurt.

I called 911 and told the woman what he had said.  She started telling me they had another call coming in regarding the same accident.  I told her I would go - that I needed to get to him.  She told me many times not to go to the accident scene.  I told her I had to but that I would not get in the way.

By that time, I had put my contacts in (new glasses are on my short list) and brushed my teeth, pulled on some clothes, and gotten Will and Andrew up.  I called Pete who said he was okay, but I could tell he was not.  Will drove us quickly...the wrong way.  I told him to go to Bamboo.  When we drove past the fire department, I noticed the trucks were both there.  I did not see any lights...or anything.  I said, "Only I would go the wrong way to an emergency!"  He cut over Wilson's Ridge, and we saw the firetruck in the middle of the intersection.  He stopped at the stop sign and let me out, while he parked the van down past the used car lot.  I ran up to Pete who was propped up on the front bumper of the firetruck with a fireman checking him over.  It was dark, and the lights were all flashing.  The whole right side of his face was covered with blood.  His shirt had blood all over it.  So did his shorts.  And his shoes.  He was clutching his Bible that had blood on it.  I wondered where all of the emergency personnel were.  One of the worst intersections in Boone, a horrible wreck, two firemen, and no one else in sight.

I asked Will to take pictures for me.  I was afraid Pete would pass out from shock or something.  Will put his knee in the truck to get Pete's ironed Sunday clothes, and his pant leg was saturated with blood.  Finally, the ambulance came.  I checked on the other driver, and he was fine.  They put Pete in the ambulance and put a collar on him.  They were assessing him, and I wondered where anyone else was.  I wondered who would write up the accident.

Finally, a state trooper came.  Pete was in the ambulance, so he just asked me what Pete had said.  The only things he asked Pete were his name and birth date.  I wondered where he would get his information.

Pete just wanted us to take him to the hospital, so he got out of the ambulance.  Will waited with him in the car until the trooper gave me the other driver information.  The report is not online yet, and the page address he gave me did not work.  We went on to the ER and just asked that Hampton's be called to get the truck.

Pete told me that he was heading down Deerfield and saw the other truck coming down Wilson's Ridge.  Right before impact, he remembered thinking that that truck did not look like it was going to stop at its stop sign.  Next thing he knew, the lights were in his eyes, and he was hit.  He knew he was bleeding and could feel it immediately.  It was hard for him to see his phone with the blood in his eyes, so he called me, thinking he was going to pass out.  He asked me to call 911 and told me where he was.  Then he got out after pushing really hard to get his door open, and he walked over to the other bigger, newer truck to check on the other driver.  He asked if he was okay, and the young man said he was.  Pete asked him if he was a believer, and he said he was.  So Pete asked him to pray, because he thought he was going to pass out.  I am not sure when that driver called 911 - before or after the prayer, but he was on the phone when I was.

The fire truck got there a few minutes before I did.  Even though I called 911 right after Pete called me.  I saw on my phone that I talked to Pete less than a minute, called 911, hurried and got ready to leave, and called Pete while we were leaving, about 5-6 minutes after he first called.  We went the wrong way, which took a few more minutes.  I was confused later about the timing and why the ambulance was not there.  We were less than a mile from the fire station and less than two from the medics.

When I called for information today, I learned that the information relayed was that it was only property damage.  911 did not dispatch the ambulance.  The firemen called for it AFTER they got there and saw Pete's injuries.  I am very frustrated that I told the operator he was breathing heavily and did not sound good.  I thought I told her he said he was hurt.  Maybe I did not.  But I know I told her he was breathing heavily and let her know I was worried.

The 911 operator called me back, but I did not hear my phone and did not listen to her message until today.  I just forgot, but I listened to it when I remembered.  I have the time she called, and it was a while after I had first called her - 16 minutes.  She said they had just dispatched an ambulance.  And once again, I felt like a failure for my family in the 911 calling.  I tried to be clear and as calm as I could.  And it did Pete no good.  But Will and I were there to help him, so God worked it out for me to know to go.

Besides all of that, God still worked in the situation.  We went to Hampton's to get things from the truck today.  I cried a little when I saw it.  Our cross country coach at John Battle bought the truck new.  Dwayne bought it from him, and Laura drove it as her first vehicle.  Then Andrew bought it from Dwayne when he was 16.  Andrew always let us use it, and it came in very handy.  Andrew has not been able to drive it, since last year; so Pete has used it off and on.  Even Will and Peter have had to borrow it in the past months.  And it needed to be driven.

Pete's Toyota Camry died a couple of months ago.  It was a 1999 model, and he had gotten a good several years out of it.  We got a Subaru for him in March, but it needed a new window motor.  So it was in the shop all last week.  And he was driving Andrew's truck.  If he had been in the Camry or the Subaru, I am not sure they could have stopped the big Ford truck the other driver had before it got him.  So we are so very thankful that the truck took the hit for him, and that God had him in that truck.

He locked up before we got to the ER.  They were not busy and got him on back.  They found a small fracture in his C6.  He had that huge gash on his head that needed stitches.  Will went on back home to check on Andrew and Sam.  When the doctor finally came in to stitch up Pete, he started feeling clammy.  The doctor did not seem concerned.  Then he told me that he felt hot.  The doctor said the light was hot.  Then his eyes rolled back, his hand drew up, and he started to shake a little bit.  I thought he was having a stroke or a seizure.  The doctor called for fluids.  His blood pressure had dropped.  They were pretty efficient, but I did not know them; and I had to text for some reinforcements.  Will came and went to help me.  And I appreciated him so much.  Andrew was okay and was checking Sam for me at home.  It was hard to leave them alone.  But I had no choice and just asked God to take over.  I know He is in control, but I know that I am the one who watches them the most, especially at night.

After Pete's episode, the doctor did more scans and finally got an x-ray of his leg that he kept saying hurt.  They stopped us right before we went out the doors to tell us his knee cap had a small fracture, so he got a brace and crutches for that!

He goes next Monday to ortho for his neck and knee.  Tomorrow, he goes to Dr. Murrey for the final results of his scan, to have his forehead looked at, and just to let me know that everything has been checked over.

After Friday, I was tired.  I feel like I am on "high alert" for a while, and then we settle back in to our normal routine.  So Sunday really shook me up.  I was not back yet, and then I was back up there again in panic mode  I don't mean to be there, but this accident scared me.  I am so thankful he is sleeping peacefully right now at home.  To see the truck was scary.  To see that the other truck could have kept on going scares me.  But bottom line is that I know God was there with him.

As for Pete, he is very thankful and sees God's provision.  He was also scared, but he is not scared of dying and going to see Jesus.  He has been thinking of the things he feels God has for him to do while he is still here.  He has certain people on his mind and heart - even people he has not yet met.

And I know that God can be glorified even in this.  I am the best example of "I cannot do it" and hope that anything that goes right points to God.  Because it's certainly not me.  I cannot even call 911 right!

We do thank the firemen and the medics.  They are always great. 

We thank everyone who has prayed for Pete and Andrew - and the rest of us.  We appreciate the visits, calls, texts, food, and everything else.  But most of all the prayers.

I know people will start running faster and further in the other direction when they see me in Walmart - either because they don't want my life to "rub" off on them or they are afraid I might start telling them about all of this stuff and their ice cream would melt!  Sam told me if I put something on Facebook that it would reach more people, and I would not have to tell the story so many times.  Smart boy.  I told him I wrote a blog too.

So I will end with this verse that I hold on to this year already...a lot...

"Be joyful in hope
Patient in affliction,
faithful in prayer..."  Romans 12:12

The circumstances of my day may not make me "happy", but the JOY of the Lord is my strength and my song.  And I pray that Jesus will shine when I am at my weakest.  I pray someone will see that He can live in and help them too.

Thanks for praying!

P.S.  Andrew ran his 5000 at ASU - at the last outdoor meet at the stadium facility (long story with no definite ending yet) and was only about 20 seconds off his goal time - after the seizure, that was really great!

Another April Update

Andrew was out running this morning in town, and he ended his run near the parking deck on Rivers Street.  He felt a seizure coming on, but he is not sure he was able to get all the way down to the ground before it started.  He woke up to the medics and assured them he would be fine.  He called me 30 minutes later (at least!) AFTER he'd taken a shower and walked to the Student Union.  He thinks it's not a big deal, since he is okay.  This follows weeks of him not being himself.  I know he has not missed any meds.  I think one of them is making him loopy some and just slow and out of it.  When I got him, he had abrasions on his elbows and said he had something on his head  We went to the office and got him checked.  He had three nurses and a PA (all very sweet) and others checking on him.  I am very concerned about infection with him, so I felt better knowing they cleaned everything well.  We came home and put ice on his head; and he slept for a while.  He still plans on running at ASU in the morning.

We would appreciate prayers that he can finish his semester.  He will graduate one internship short of a double major.  I have encouraged him to do that in the fall or next spring.  His internship is done for this semester.  So that is a relief.  Only a few more days of class and two exams.

I think one problem is the medication. He is taking very high doses of the three best seizure meds.  And I think it is just wearing on him.  But, like the doctor said, these breakthrough seizures are showing that we need to try something else.  Peter thinks the running stresses him too much.  Pete does not think so.  The doctor said there is no rhyme nor reason.

We continue to try to prepare for July.  I still have some people to talk to about their experiences. 

I have been listening to a new CD from Meredith Andrews, and I love most of the songs.  One I have been playing a lot is Impossible.  I appreciate the reminder that it is impossible for God to fail me.  He won't.  Ever.  And the devotional I read this morning that I thought related to something else (and it did) really helped me keep a better perspective this afternoon.  I'll admit that I was a little grumpy about something else, but not all of this. 

I am glad I had not planned on going to see Will Graham tonight in Johnson City.  I knew I should not plan on that for some reason!  I hope he comes somewhere close again soon.  It's hard not to be disappointed to not be able to be where you think you would really benefit!

Thanks to those who pray.  We appreciate the prayers so much!

                                                         "Impossible"

You’re the one who shut the mouth of the lion
The God who put the giant in the grave
With Your hand You turned the ocean into dry land
All to save

You opened up the eyes of the blind man
You’re the one who calmed the storm and walked on waves
You rose and left an empty tomb behind You
All to save, all to save

It’s impossible for You to fail me
There’s not a day that You won’t go before me
Even when I’m at the end, I will not forget
It’s impossible for You to fail
It’s impossible for You to fail

Your love is deep enough to find me in the valley
And strong enough to lift me from my shame
A Holy King who freely gives me mercy
All to save, all to save

Though I stumble and doubt
You are here even now
Forever faithful, forever faithful
Though I can’t always see
I will choose to believe
That You are faithful, forever faithful