Mr. Moose

Sam told me this afternoon, as I was preparing to check his bsl, that he needed to get Rufus - that we had not given him a shot in a long time.  Rufus is the bear with diabetes that Sam got in the hospital.  Another mom of a diabetic son, who is also a nurse, had left us and driven to Charlotte to specifically get a backpack full of information ~ and Rufus.  Rufus is a cute bear with patches to show where injections can be given.  We have not played with Rufus or mentioned him in a long time.

So I asked Sam if he remembered Mr. Moose.  The diabetes educator at the hospital was great.  The nurses were great.  I would have guessed that they educated parents on new diabetics all of the time.  They showed us how to count carbs and draw up insulin with a syringe (We are so thankful for insulin pens!!!!).  They showed us how to give injections and check Sam's blood sugar (This mommy has come a long way from almost passing out after stepping foot in any hospital when I was young!).  We were, of course, so worried about Sam.  He was very very sick.  We were all concerned and did not know what to do minute to minute to keep him fed and settled.

So we were all exhausted.  Every time I got to sit down and close my eyes for a second after Sam was settled, here came the diabetes educator to help me.  I read the information she gave me.  I kept track of things and brought a notebook and folder from home to keep up with everything.  I had to learn.  I knew we had to learn in order to leave ICU and then to go home.  We had to learn fast ~ we did not know yet how fast.

The day Sam was diagnosed was Sunday.  He was in the ER for a long time, and he kept asking for a drink.  They were still doing tests, and he was so very sick.  He could not have a drink the whole time we were there.  He started asking the nurses for water and pointing to the IV bag and then to his mouth like none of us could understand what he wanted!  Then he asked someone to get the water hose (water fountain) in the hall and bring him some water.  He was finally able to get some ice chips and shoveled those in his mouth riding in the bed all the way up to ICU.

Pete and the boys had come back from a baptism in Winston while Will and I had been at the ER all day.  So Pete stayed the night with Sam.  Sam was exhausted and slept hard unless someone was checking something during the night.

The next morning, we switched off.  I cannot remember which one of us took the boys to school, but I stayed with Sam from early in the morning until the evening.  Pete went to work and took care of the boys after school.  The first morning was rough.  Sam woke up sick and hungry and not sure why he was in the hospital.  He started crying and screaming, so out of character for him.  I just held his arm or whatever he would let me hold and let him scream and cry for about 10 minutes.  The nurses looked in curiously.  I just let him let it out.  I felt like he was doing it for me too.  That few minutes represented our feelings of "please get us out of this!" He has not thrown a fit about diabetes since that one morning as a little sick five year old.

After that, we settled in to watch some TV.  Later on, the diabetes educator came in.  She brought "Mr. Moose" to talk to Sam about diabetes.  Still not himself, Sam threw Mr. Moose across the room. We both remember that.  Instead of being embarrassed or apologetic, I just told her that we did not seem to like Mr. Moose - either of us.  We kept him, but he is not our favorite toy as he represents a bad day.  But he is also a reminder of how far we have come.  Sam did not throw a fit.  He just threw Mr. Moose.  Of course I told him he could not throw things, but I knew inside that we both wanted to throw Mr. Moose out of the window!  We did not want a reason to meet Mr. Moose!  We wanted to turn back the clock to the week before when diabetes was something we did not know much about!

Sam's day got better as some of his favorite people visited him, and he got lots of gifts and attention ~ something he was not used to.  He watched Scooby Doo on a portable DVD player and had two trucks in his bed to keep him occupied while hooked up to things.  I remember Pete calling me at night to tell me he had given Sam a shot.  I could not believe it.  Of course, I started giving them the next day!  We were so worried about air bubbles and just knew we would never get the hang of drawing up insulin.

Once Sam was moved to the pediatric wing, we thought we had a couple of learning days left.  But when Andrew had a couple of bad seizures and was brought in by an ambulance to the ER while Sam was upstairs in the pediatric wing, things kicked into high gear; and we were allowed to "practice" a few more times before bringing Sam home the next day.  It is so hard to learn when we are exhausted, but God let the right things sink in and stay.

We dreaded meal times because we dreaded giving him injections.  He had to stay still so that we, as inexperienced as we were, could give him injections with a syringe at a 45 degree angle.  If he did not want to stay still, we had to hold him with our legs.  Tough does not come close to describing it.  When he first returned to preschool, I had to leave with him many times to give him his injection at home.  Again, we are so thankful for the progress made in the past several years with diabetes equipment and supplies.

So Mr. Moose still lives in Sam's room ~ a reminder that no matter how impossible things seem, God will make a way to get through them.  Today, the boys can all check Sam's blood sugar and give him injections.  Wow.  We did not think we would ever be used to this new life we all have - Sam especially.  But here we are.  Mr. Moose and all.  And to be able to laugh at Mr. Moose flying across the room is a good thing.  A really really good thing.