Two appointments ~ quality time with boys

Tuesday, I was able to spend the whole day with two of my boys!  Sam had a great day with Peter - he loved having Peter's attention and just hanging out.  I think Peter enjoyed a break from school to spend the day with us!

Sam's eye appointment went well.  We got there a little early, and they took us right back.  He had to do the whole, long exam.  He sat right in the chair and answered all of their questions.  When Dr. Saunders checked him, he found his eyes are slightly better...again.  The goal for him, being farsighted, is that his eyes get so much better that he only needs thin glasses.  Dr. Saunders said he checked him three different times for something, and Sam consistently gave the same answer.  I thought it was sweet when Dr. Saunders asked, "The first one, the second one, or are they about the same?"  Sam would quietly answer, "Yes."  Then he started answering one or two. 

We left and went to the mall for lunch.  Peter's appointment was not for another couple of hours.  We ate and looked around a bit.  Peter and Sam went to the sporting goods while I checked on a few things on my "running" list (the list I always seem to have something on!).  Then we took off for Peter's appointment.

I guess I was like Peter - thinking he would be able to stop using his foot brace as much.  But the doctor wanted him to continue to wear it for two more months and then come back.  Then he said he would probably have Peter continue to wear it for two more months and come back.  If all was well then (four months!), he would consider letting him take it off and start doing some things.  Peter was so disappointed - to say it lightly.  I reminded the doctor that Peter wanted to run in college.  He smiled and said he remembered.  He also said if the foot is not healed, that some people end up with screws in their feet.  I guess it's the bone and the location that makes it so hard to stay healed.  I knew not to talk to Peter too much, so I told him to pray about the first two months and go from there.  In the meantime, I told him we would check into a membership at the Wellness Center so he can swim and work out.  And, we got Krispy Kreme doughnuts on the way home to help ease the disappointment!

It's not the end of the world, but it's the end of Peter's high school career.  He did try to run on that foot for over a year before we found the problem.  I feel really bad about that, but now it needs to be fixed correctly so he can go on from where he is now.  It is hard to see him disappointed, but he is learning one of life's lessons for sure. 

So we rode home in quiet - with Peter listening to music and Sam sound asleep.  It was a long day, but it was a treasured day with two of my biggest blessings.

Today is an unexpected snow day - a great day to catch up on school work, watch some good movies on Netflix, and work on scholarship apps!  I am glad my boys had this unexpected break - their mommy needed it for them!

Thanks for praying for my boys!

We HOPE

This has been a rough week.  Really really rough.  Pete spoke last night in the Wednesday night Bible study at church.  I told him in the car that he could have helped my week if he had practiced on me earlier in the week ~ I needed to hear what he was sharing!  He talked about the ONE name above all names.  And the ONE person who can save us.  He told some funny stories to illustrate, but he spoke from Philippians and reminded us to give our burdens over to Him.

Monday night was one of those bad nights.  Andrew had a short but terrible seizure.  He was so locked up that he trembled badly coming out of everything.  When he is lying there not able to yet move, but his eyes are looking at me telling me he is okay, I am relieved but trying to figure it all out.  I am thankful yet dreading another time?  When will it end?  Will it?  Will he be okay?  Will he have a seizure at night and get sick and die without me waking up?

One time I shared that I was nudged awake.  I was.  I have NO doubts.  And I know Who nudged me.  I have felt fear, frustration, despair, and many other things over this.  I dread seeing my phone light up when Andrew is away from me (which is a lot).  Is he okay?  Is someone calling from the college or the track meet again?

I try not to baby him.  But we drive him around when we need to.  We turn up the ringers on our phones some days and hope they don't ring with an emergency.  I have hovered around buildings on campus waiting for him just in case.

We take him to doctors.  We get his medicine - even if we have to fight or beg for it.  And most of all, we love him.  We are his biggest fans and supporters - his family.  We cheer him on.  We are proud of him.  We are inspired by him.  We enjoy being around him.  We love laughing with him.

Yet...he scares me so badly sometimes I am not sure if I can take any more.  That is this week.  I had a tough night with Andrew in a lot of ways.  He had the seizure.  I felt the effects.  I hated the seizure.  I was scared that 911 would  not send someone in time.  I was afraid he may have another.  I did not sleep that well on the couch.  Instead of waking up feeling better and thankful, I woke up the next morning crying.  Uh oh.  That was not good.  I felt defeated and sad - in a lot of ways.

I have prayed.  Others have prayed.  Pete and I prayed over Andrew after the trauma passed that night.  But the dread had set in again.  I hated that Sam sat on the couch not moving while EMS came into our home to check on Andrew.  I could not seem to stand any of it.  And have no doubts, we prayed a lot, loudly, while all of this was going on.

My nerves felt shot.  We all get to that point when we feel we have been put through the wringer.  I told Pete that the least little thing seemed huge.  I felt so weary.  I wanted to crawl in a hole and only let a few people get close.  I just felt detached even though I knew better.

That was a lot for Tuesday.  Then Wednesday I woke up not crying but with an idea.  The idea that I thought maybe we could try this summer started tonight.  Andrew saw his neurologist today - even when he did not have an appointment yesterday morning.  It went so fast.  The doctors I talked with were on board and thought the idea was reasonable.  The negative is that if it does not work, options are running out.  But I cannot dwell on that right now.  I am too busy praying this will work.

Sometimes I get answers correct on Jeopardy because I don't have more information on a subject to confuse me.  So it's the answer I know, or I don't know the answer (not a clue).  I told Andrew's doctor that my limited knowledge made things simpler for me sometimes - even in his complex medical conditions.  That is why I understood the idea that did NOT come from me.  God sent it. I know He did.  He worked it out.  I had this idea over two years ago.  I did not think it up myself then either.  And I was so upset this week that I would not have remembered easily - I was trying to take a break from thinking too much or too hard.  So the idea replaced the tears of the day before.

Andrew started a third medication tonight.  He will take it for a few weeks.  We will do some labs and hopefully start taking away the other medicine.  We need TWO big things.  We need his liver to be okay.  And we need this old drug that we stopped using when he was in the 6th grade to control his seizures.  That is the simple part.

With all of his health issues, who knows why anything happens.  He does not follow a textbook case in anything he has.  So this is a good time for him to take something unlikely to work and let it work anyway.

Tough week.  But it's a week when I have felt my arms being held up to keep the waters from overflowing.  Maybe this week was harder so I would listen to the idea whispered in my ear.  Maybe being brought down allowed me to be still.

Thanks for praying for Andrew.  Please keep on.  We HOPE and pray this will work.