Tomorrow is our 5 year anniversary with Type 1
diabetes in our family. It seems like
yesterday but then also seems so long ago.
I guess that is just how it is with something that takes up so much of
your time and effort.
We look back and find many many reasons to be
thankful. We see how different people
were put in the right places at the right times to help us – even when most of
the time they did not even know!
We appreciate the helpers and encouragers. We love our helpers (Andrew, Peter, and Will)
at home – and Laura. We love and
appreciate our helpers at school – who have taken on a role simply to help our
little person. We appreciate those who
have sent Sam things – treats AND supplies.
We appreciate our doctors and nurses who help us along the way. We appreciate all of the prayers that have
been prayed for us and for Sam.
I remember clearly looking up at the ceiling and
silently pleading with God not to let Sam have diabetes – right before they had
his diagnosis. That was one of two
guesses the doctor had in the ER. I did
not know much about diabetes, but I knew I did not want it in our house. I even told God that we already deal with a
lot. Remember? Those seizures I stood in this very same ER
and said I could not handle? Remember?
Please don’t give us something else.
I can’t do it.
But He knew.
He knew before Sam was even born that this illness would be a part of
his life. It’s not the worst illness. But it’s wearing. It’s all of the time every day and every
night. I know you may not
understand. And that’s okay. I know a lot of you DO totally understand,
and we have the reassurance that God loves us.
Like other bad things, we did not cause this; but we can allow Him to
work through it. What other choice is
there? And don’t think I don’t cry some
days and some nights – in the middle of the night. Because I do get tired and frustrated and
scared. But I know God is still with
us. I reach out to Him when the house is
quiet and still and the night has not been good. And He is there – waiting for me. Because He loves me. He loves my children. He loves you!
You know, September 20th was hard. September 22nd was even harder –
the night Andrew was taken to the ER in the ambulance with a seizure that would
not stop. Pete was not here to help me, because
he was already at the hospital with Sam.
We could not bring Sam home until he was stable, and before we had our
training on how to take care of him. That
was hard to take, but it was also a time that I felt so helpless that I had to
cry out to Him. I could do nothing. It was an awful night. And He worked it all out. I cried out to Him – part of the time at the
top of my lungs. And He answered me and
assured me and reassured me. And so, as
awful as that night was, I can look back and see where He had us in His hands. And where else would we want to be?
Sam and I go to Sound to Sea next week with his
whole grade. He is still shy and timid
in a lot of situations, but I know Andrew was and still had a great time on
this trip. His mommy and the nurse will
be there to keep an eye on him and check his blood sugars during the day and at
night. We will discreetly give him
insulin when he is high and snacks or candy when he is low. We will count his carbs and monitor what he
eats. We will look to see if he looks
gray or tired. But I also know we will
watch him grow and come out of his shell a little bit more on this wonderful
adventure.
I don’t think I am special. I know we all are. God knows us by name. I don’t need to worry about if anyone else in
the whole world knows my name when I know He does. He knows my children’s names. He knows every single person by name, and He
knows our hearts. As Francesca Battistelli
sings, “Make no mistake, He knows my name.”
I love that song, because He knows me.
And He still loves me.
The last five years have been particularly
hard. And I feel God is telling me to
turn this burden over to Him even more than I think I have. I think it’s about time to not let it (the
illness) run our lives so much. Sure, we
have to do what we have to do. But I
need to draw nearer to Him and do what we are supposed to do while letting go
of fear and frustration – and even sometimes wishing we did not have it.
I love Nichole Nordeman’s song where she says if we
did not know midnight, we would not see the sunrise for all it is. And I have not had the worst midnights, but I
have had some pretty bad ones. It’s all
part of our story. And the point of the
story is to point others to Him. My
whole testimony is that I cannot do anything by myself. God helps me (us) through. And at the end of my time here, He is the
only One who could provide a way for eternal life for me.
So I sit here with tears knowing that I have a
little boy who will battle this disease, but he is willing and
cooperative. And he knows that one day
he will not have to battle it anymore (or wear glasses), because he has asked
Jesus into his heart and is not sure what Heaven will be like but believes it
will be better than we can imagine on this earth; and he has a way to be
there. It may seem very surface, but I
think he knows this and believes it deep down.
We still appreciate all of your prayers and
encouragement. God uses you in mighty
ways. The last few months have been hard
for different reasons, and God has not let me down. He knows me and knows what I need. Even when I don’t.
Thanks again!
Happy Fall!
“Jesus
saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the
Father, but by me." John 14:6
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ
Jesus." Philippians 4:6,7
“But he said to me,
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in
weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ's power may rest on me." II Corinthians 12:9
“I can do all things
through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13
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