Sam checks into a children’s
hospital near Charlotte this Friday morning for a 24-48 hour EEG. We are hoping and praying this test will give
us much needed information on how to deal with Sam’s learning issues – whether he
is having silent seizures or not- and prepare us some for his future and what
he may need. We know what Andrew’s
struggles have been with scar tissue on an MRI.
We hope we can know more about how Sam is like or not like Andrew’s
situation. Even though it’s a little
unreal to me that we are even checking these things in Sam, I really have not
whined to God this time. He knows my
heart, and He knows my fears. And I am
really just trying to rest in Him – knowing He provides and takes care of all
of it. He is not surprised or ever
caught off guard. It’s like all of those
verses in Deuteronomy that say He will go before me. And they go on in Joshua.
6 Be strong and of a
good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee,
nor forsake thee. Deuteronomy
31:6
8 And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will
not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8
5 There shall not any
man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life: as I was with Moses,
so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. Joshua 1:5
I was
going through the book of Joshua in Sunday School when we left Brushy Fork (the
church we had been a part of for many many years) in June, so Pete could be the
pastor at Middle Fork Baptist Church. I
kept going back to Deuteronomy while trying to move on through Joshua. And everywhere (everywhere!), it said that
God goes before us, and He will not leave us nor forsake us. It keeps on reminding us. That is why it’s there – in the Old Testament
– to remind us, even today. Especially
today. Trying to be a good Sunday School
teacher and teach what was laid on my heart, I kept going over and over that –
for weeks, up until the last time I taught.
And a few months ago, I realized it was for me. I am sure it was for others too. But it was totally for me. To remind me.
Reassure me. Tell me again and
again. I am not alone. God knew what was coming for our family.
The song
I heard on my way to the high school to take care of something for Will while
Pete was out of the country back in the late fall was “I Am Not Alone” by Kari
Jobe. I have shared it before. She keeps singing that He will go before
me. He will never leave me. He is everywhere. And I felt so alone that day on my way to the
school, not knowing or understanding how things had gotten so off track so fast
with my child. But I was reminded, and I
could walk in there and do what I needed for my child because I was not alone. And I cried and cried, but I have hope that
only He can give. And when that hope
gets pushed down, He sends reminders in many, many different ways.
On the
subject of Will, we still need lots of prayers for him. I have had people encourage me and advise me
and help me through these really hard weeks.
Really the hardest in my life. I
have had to let go of the takers and not let them take any more. And it’s something I have to consciously do
many times a day. I cry a lot, but that
is okay. And I pray constantly. I let the hurt go as much as I can. And I am learning more and more how to help
others by what to do or say and what not to.
I know God has placed people straight in my path (some, literally) to
give me what I needed at the moment. We
love and appreciate those who are helping him and encouraging him right
now. And, again, I am having to let go
of a lot – with Will and the stuff that comes with having a wayward child. I am convinced God loves him and knows
everything about him. He is right there
with him. And He is right here with Will’s
family as we pray and wait. It’s by far
the hardest thing I have faced in my life.
So thank you to those who pray for my boy.
I will
put an update on Sam on our blog, www.sixvandenbergs.blogspot.com
when we get home. We may not know much
until we see the doctor again. I am
anxious and ready to get this next information step behind us.
Thanks so
much for praying for us.
Love,
Wendi
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