It's been a tough few weeks, and I sit here looking back over some of the "other tough times" and have to feel encouraged to know how terrible some of those times were ~ but He brought us through. And He will do so again.
I have not felt well for at least a few weeks. I am still "fighting" with BCBS, and it's not something I can let go; because it affects everything for the rest of the year. Andrew's personal customer service rep has not had to help us with anything big yet, and I am not sure it's going to work out - her help. Then my car was hit in the Harris Teeter parking lot. It crunched my bumper, so I can hardly get in the back of my car. It was a hit and run, but there was a witness who took the tag. Long story short, somehow the people who hit me got my information even though I did not have theirs. I was trying to work with them but had already worked a week and a half getting my car lined up to get fixed, a new bumper. Everything is being dragged out, so I have just had to ask my insurance to handle it. But my insurance doesn't have their info. It's frustrating but not the end of the world, I keep telling myself. It's our only car that can go to Charlotte or Duke. Pete's Toyota (or Honda, as he calls it) would not make the trip to Wilkesboro! So all of that, on top of the regular life I lead, has worn me out a little.
And there is more. There are changes, and I am not good at change. But I am trying to be obedient and do what God wants me to do. I have been concerned for Pete too, and I have been praying a lot. This part is not meant to be cryptic, though it is. It's just another huge thing to me, and it's all right at the same time as all of this other going on. But I know I must keep praying and believing that God will take care of all of that too ~ and all my concerns for others.
So we took off Sunday afternoon for Duke. Peter went with us, in case I did not feel well enough to drive. We took our first break at the outlets in Mebane and had a fun but hot few minutes walking around. We got dinner on our way to the hotel and were happy to find a nice, clean pool with no one around! I could see the boys out of my balcony, and they were able to to out and play twice at night. The next morning. Peter dropped us off at Duke and took Sam to breakfast and back to the hotel to swim. Sam loved spending time with two of his brothers and had not been swimming all summer!
Andrew and I really liked the doctor at Duke. He had gotten some of Andrew's information before the appointment and had a good idea of Andrew's situation. He asked a ton of questions. He was great at talking to Andrew and directing most of his questions and answers to him. But he asked me about the times when Andrew was young, and we both felt he included us both and really wanted to know about Andrew. It takes a long time to go through the questions on Andrew's medical history, and I usually take a cheat sheet and only elaborate if they want me to. I left a couple of articles with the doctor, so he would know a little more about Andrew; and he seemed genuinely interested in those.
In a nutshell, Andrew's options for seizures are limited - more drugs, a VNS, or surgery. After a good explanation from the doctor about the surgery and testing needed to even see if that was an option, Andrew decided to go with that plan. So he will go back to Duke this month for an MRI. It's at 9:45 pm, so we will see if we can get the same hotel! And I am waiting on Duke to call with a time for Andrew to go to their epilepsy monitoring unit (EMU) and spend 4-7 days, so they can evaluate his seizures. They will take him off his medications to make him have seizures and will monitor him. We will be with him at all times. I still don't have my situation even remotely worked out with Sam, but I told Pete he would just have to take that time off. One of us will be with him, and one can keep up with Sam while taking a break. It makes me sick to think of it, but I know it's to get him to a better place hopefully.
After all of the testing, the team at Duke will meet and determine if Andrew is even a candidate for surgery. He may not be. Or if there would likely be damage of some kind, they said they will not do surgery. From what we know now, Andrew meets the criteria to be tested. And he is ready to do that.
The doctor was very nice and told Andrew that Andrew can stop the process at any time and try more medications. But he seemed optimistic about helping Andrew get seizure free. And Andrew wants (right now) to see if that is a possibility.
People comment sometimes that I am strong - and I know what those people mean - not that I am really strong but that I let God help me through things. I don't want anyone to think I am strong - especially by myself. But I can tell you that this will be one of the biggest challenges I have ever faced - and I am not the one considering surgery. I will be counting on God for ALL of the strength we need.
So I am asking for prayers for Andrew. I am asking for prayers for wisdom and guidance and the right doctors and nurses and radiologists and anyone else involved. I am also asking for prayers that God can use us through this experience. It's just scary to me. So scary it makes me feel sick. But I want Andrew to have more freedom and less worry and less interruption. He gives up a lot that not many realize. And the decision is totally up to him.
Thanks to ALL of you who supported him in his yard sale! He got rid of tons of our stuff, and we took quite a bit to donate. He was so excited to do so well!
Thanks again for praying for our family. We know God is in control. He knows all. And I just have to keep my focus on Him. He loves Andrew even more than Pete and I could.
Holding tightly onto this short but a favorite verse and promise:
"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
UPDATE ON 8/3/17
Andrew will check in at Duke sometime on August 30 (Sam's 13th birthday!). We will leave our house early in the morning and be on our way or down there by the time they are ready for him. He should be there 3-5 days (doctor said 4-7). It will be "not normal" to hope for the right kind and enough seizures for them to get the information they need, while we try to keep him safe. Our plans are (right now) to take Sam with us. The rooms are very small, and there is only one reclining chair. So Pete will spend the nights, and I will take the days. We can come and go and get food for him, but one of us will need to be with him at all times. I will be updating my kindle with some new books (PLEASE send me book suggestions - Christian fiction is my favorite - Robert Whitlow, Dee Henderson, Angela Hunt). He can have DVD's and can study or do whatever he feels like doing. If anyone knows where to find 100% cotton pj tops for men that button up the front, I would appreciate that information. I can look outside of Boone when we go back on the 10th for his MRI. But I don't have that "shopper energy" right now! I found some at Walmart, but they were not all cotton.
Thanks to all of you who have prayed. Thanks for the encouragement and offers of help. Our hotel is already covered by a generous gift someone sent a couple of days ago.
And please pray for Sam as he has to go with us. Please pray for Peter and Will as they stay at home and work. Sometimes the siblings need some attention and definitely need prayers. It's not always easy to be in our family. We aren't perfect and never want to appear so. But we are blessed beyond measure. Our blessings come from knowing God is real and that He is always with us. And while we don't look forward to this, at all, we are thankful it's soon and will be over with.
And while I always make this about Andrew or Sam usually, I would ask those who pray to pray for one of my little friends going through some of the same testing. He is in the initial stages, and I pray for him to have something easily treatable and not dangerous and disruptive. And I pray for peace and comfort for his parents as they go through this tough stuff. Thanks!
P.S. You may not want to park near me! I must be a magnet for accidents! Evidently a truck backed into the car parked beside me with a trailer hitch and left the scene. Fortunately, they found him next door, as he did not stay to take responsibility! Just crazy!
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