Andrew ran his first Appalachian cross country meet Friday evening at the Greenway! We were so happy to go and see him. In true Andrew fashion, he was probably in the last 10 as they started and then moved up a bit before they went out of sight for a while. When they came back into sight on the other side of the covered bridge, he had moved up - way up! He ended up running a 25:59 8K (5 miles) and was 15th overall and 6th on the team and only a few seconds from 5th! It was his first 8K race (unless he had run a road race - and I don't think The Bear counts!). He looked so good - so smooth and so strong.
Of course Pete is running around all excited and happy during the race. I was excited too, but I tend to ponder more. I know more on which to ponder too. So sometimes I have more for which to be thankful. And I am thankful. I want Andrew to do well. I want him to be healthy. I want him to overcome this stuff that gets in his way. But I know what is most important is what points to God. I need to be willing to know that sometimes things won't go our way or be understood by us. I will know without a doubt how I wish things could go and how I want them to go. But I need to be more willing to trust that things will go the way they need to for HIS glory. Friday, I was pondering on whether he could keep the pace. I know things others don't know. I know what we are working on medically. I should have just enjoyed watching!
I have talked of my grandfather who prayed and prayed for Andrew when he was still alive. He had a limited education, helped support his family of four boys during the depression, lost his father in the coal mines when he was seven, built his own business from scratch, worked six days a week most of his life, and was more generous than most people would ever be willing to be. While he was not perfect (none of us are!), he knew where to go when he could not help Andrew in the way he would like. He still tried to slide me money to help pay for travel expenses to the doctor and for medical bills. And he called to check on us on a regular basis even when it was hard for him to find my number (until Whitney put it right next to his phone). For years after he died, I would start to pick up the phone and call my special grandfather to share something with him. I go to visit his grave sometimes - my grandmother is there and my little niece and other loved family members. I know he is not there, but it is a place to be still and remember him and appreciate him. Because he knew he had to get on his knees when he could not take care of something for me - or for Andrew. And for someone who tried to be self-sufficient all of his life, that was a big deal to know he knew that and acknowledged it.
My grandfather was not on the front page of the newspaper. He was not the wealthiest man in the town where he lived and worked for most of his life. But he was a very hard worker, and he was very well loved. When he died, people who worked for him came to tell stories of how he had helped them. Friends told how he had paid the bill at the restaurant for them before he left ahead of them. He helped people out of jams. He was remembered for his hard work and work ethic. All of these people knew he was not perfect, but they loved and appreciated him just as we did. The point is that we don't have to be famous or out front to make a difference. His difference was that he lived what he believed about hard work. And as he got older and found out firsthand that he could not work things out himself, he knew to get on those knees. He, like a lot of us, had to learn that over years and through experiences; but it still speaks to me greatly.
My grandfather would be so proud of Andrew - for his hard work and determination. As my dad gets older, it is clear to see some of the same traits in him as my grandfather - sometimes in different ways. I won't share that with him yet - that observation! So Andrew is not out front, but he is out there and working hard and showing us what miracles are. And when other things may come his way, he will just keep going the same way he is now. And as his mom, I think it's okay - even great - to enjoy the good days and great races as long as I give credit where credit is due.
Cannot wait to see what else is ahead for this boy. I was so happy to see Peter bragging about Andrew on Facebook and saying he knows God has a plan for Andrew. God has a plan for everyone. The ones whose lives seem toughest right now and those who seem to be on easy street. We need to be willing to watch and wait and listen so we can go in the direction He would have us to go. So many things have worked out for Andrew in the past several weeks that could have just been disappointment and potential disaster. So I am thankful for all of those things. All of them. And, again, I know I don't know the half of it!
Monday, September 3, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Sam is EIGHT!
How in the world can it be? Sam is eight? I remember bringing him home to three very eager to see him brothers. They watched his every move. I should have never worried about what they would think. They absolutely loved him and cannot even remember what life was like without him. He has shown them how to love bigger and better, not to take things for granted, taught them major responsibility, and shown them how he just keeps going forward even with his big and little obstacles.
Before he was one, he was found to be extremely farsighted. He wore glasses before his first birthday and patches too. The boys thought he was adorable but worried about others making fun of him. But we got used to the glasses and patches and thought he was the cutest person in the world.
When he was almost two, he had to have eye surgery scheduled. It was a little stressful because it was his eyes, but he did great and continues to do well. Not even a month after that, he had double hernia surgery. Again, he did well; and we were glad to be done with all of that!
When he turned five, he was having a bit of trouble with accidents off and on. A little while later, we found out why - diabetes. That was and still is a biggie. He will have to work with this the rest of his life. He does well most of the time, but it's hard that we cannot just send him wherever with whomever - even to play sports or go on field trips. It can be very limiting, but Sam is so fortunate to have three brothers and an extra special cousin who can take care of his diabetes.
Now at eight, he has a really big and really weird looking "tooth" that turned out to be extra! He goes to the oral surgeon the morning to have it taken out. I am nervous because of the not eating in the morning and his sugar that has been off all week because of strep throat. So I am looking very forward to getting him home and letting him rest tomorrow.
He may not be up to watching Andrew run in his first ASU meet, but Will will be a good big brother and stay home with him. Sam is sunshine, and he is fortunate to have brothers who love him so.
We are having cupcakes - white with buttercream frosting - at Sam's request. They had monster trucks, sprinkles, and ring pops on top. We will have a bigger party later, but popsicles at school and cupcakes at home sounded good to him. We started our celebrating early on the way home from cross country this week by stopping at Chuck E. Cheese in Asheville! He and his daddy had a great time playing games and getting tickets. Mommy only contributed a little but had fun too!
I feel like Sam should be six - not seven or eight! He is getting taller and growing up! He is still our baby, but we have been trying to help him be who he will be! It's fun to see some of Andrew, some of Peter, and a lot of Will in him. Then there is the other part that Pete declares comes from my dad. Then he is left handed like his aunt (Whitney).
So Happy 8th Birthday to my special baby boy - the one who has kept me busy and kept my focus on the right place - the one who freely hugs me and kisses me and tells me over and over he loves me - the one who likes to "help" clean or pick up - the one who rubs my head when it hurts - the one who will be here for a while after the other boys leave. Off to eat cupcakes!
Before he was one, he was found to be extremely farsighted. He wore glasses before his first birthday and patches too. The boys thought he was adorable but worried about others making fun of him. But we got used to the glasses and patches and thought he was the cutest person in the world.
When he was almost two, he had to have eye surgery scheduled. It was a little stressful because it was his eyes, but he did great and continues to do well. Not even a month after that, he had double hernia surgery. Again, he did well; and we were glad to be done with all of that!
When he turned five, he was having a bit of trouble with accidents off and on. A little while later, we found out why - diabetes. That was and still is a biggie. He will have to work with this the rest of his life. He does well most of the time, but it's hard that we cannot just send him wherever with whomever - even to play sports or go on field trips. It can be very limiting, but Sam is so fortunate to have three brothers and an extra special cousin who can take care of his diabetes.
Now at eight, he has a really big and really weird looking "tooth" that turned out to be extra! He goes to the oral surgeon the morning to have it taken out. I am nervous because of the not eating in the morning and his sugar that has been off all week because of strep throat. So I am looking very forward to getting him home and letting him rest tomorrow.
He may not be up to watching Andrew run in his first ASU meet, but Will will be a good big brother and stay home with him. Sam is sunshine, and he is fortunate to have brothers who love him so.
We are having cupcakes - white with buttercream frosting - at Sam's request. They had monster trucks, sprinkles, and ring pops on top. We will have a bigger party later, but popsicles at school and cupcakes at home sounded good to him. We started our celebrating early on the way home from cross country this week by stopping at Chuck E. Cheese in Asheville! He and his daddy had a great time playing games and getting tickets. Mommy only contributed a little but had fun too!
I feel like Sam should be six - not seven or eight! He is getting taller and growing up! He is still our baby, but we have been trying to help him be who he will be! It's fun to see some of Andrew, some of Peter, and a lot of Will in him. Then there is the other part that Pete declares comes from my dad. Then he is left handed like his aunt (Whitney).
So Happy 8th Birthday to my special baby boy - the one who has kept me busy and kept my focus on the right place - the one who freely hugs me and kisses me and tells me over and over he loves me - the one who likes to "help" clean or pick up - the one who rubs my head when it hurts - the one who will be here for a while after the other boys leave. Off to eat cupcakes!
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Tears and Cheers
Today was supposed to be a fun day! We left Boone yesterday afternoon - just three of us which was kind of odd. We spent the night at a hotel with a pool and a putting green, so someone thought he was on a huge vacation! Andrew was at home with Laura spending the night at our house with him. They were joined by Grandad and Mimi who took them out to eat and who knows what else? I got to watch some Home & Garden TV and read in my book. I got to sleep a tiny bit later than usual. We got in the car to go to the cross country meet and figured out we were only a few minutes away from the park.
As we were going down the road, I saw Krispy Kreme. All of the sudden, it hit me. This would be one of my last trips to this meet! I did okay last year when Andrew was a senior. But it hit me that he would not be there today. When he was a freshman, we got off the interstate right at that Krispy Kreme and were so early that we stopped to get a treat. Sam did not have diabetes then, and we were new cross country people. Peter, Will, Sam, and I had left super early to get to the meet.
So I started crying. Pete thought I was crying because Andrew would not be there. I am sure that was part of it, but it's also Peter's senior year. He keeps getting injured, and I don't want him to run out of time before he has some of those great races I know he has in him. I was probably a little nervous for him.
But as we entered the park, tears were dripping off my cheeks. I kept my sunglasses on and kept to myself a lot today. And I yelled for that boy I was worried about. I also prayed for him as he got ready to run and ran. He is not where he needs to be, but we will work on that. Then I yelled for that next boy who just started running again not long ago. He did pretty well keeping up in his race. He has a mountain bike race tomorrow, so I am praying he does not hurt anything in that!
On the way home, I felt we needed to spend time with the little boy with us who turns EIGHT this week! Six, maybe. Eight, no way! So we detoured to Chuck E. Cheese and extended his little vacation. And as we left the shopping center, we stopped at Lifeway and bought a new CD so I could sing out some of my heart on the way home. Pete and Sam slept through most of that!
We met with lot of ASU students at a progressive dinner tonight and then went and cleaned. So I am pretty worn out and should sleep well tonight! I think I am tired and weary and need to watch a sad movie and cry my eyes out. Especially so the next cross country meet won't be so hard on me!
I determined the weary part yesterday before the other hit. I told Pete if Blue Cross would stop sending me stamped mail, it would save them a million dollars, I am sure! I have determined that no one likes to tie up loose ends and get things straight. They cause me so many extra phone calls and extra work because of it. So I am going to do my part and then let them do theirs. I also am getting a home phone on Monday. It's the only way I can feel better about calling 911 if we ever need them again. No one has called us back to check on the problem, so I need to take care of that the best I can too. I am going to get on the school website every day and keep up with my children. I am going to keep working to find what works with Sam to help him learn and retain what he has learned. I am going to get my house clean- and my basement! I am going to weed my flower beds in the front of my house that look like a jungle. I am going to roll out of bed and walk in the mornings and not be afraid of the sounds I hear!
But...I am also going to be more thankful. I am going to enjoy my family more. I am going to feel free to say no or give someone else a chance to do some of the easy stuff I do. I am going to read my Bible more. I am going to walk more and read more and have fun more. I am going to write more notes and cards like I used to do and tell people I hope they feel better or how they helped me last week or last year. Just to let them know...
That crying sure got me this morning. But I am not ashamed or embarrassed by it. I don't have regrets about my boys getting older. We all wish we had a little (or a lot) more time - especially if we enjoy being around our children. I stayed home with them for so long and was fortunate to work at night when they were sleeping and could work at home! I have been to almost every meet and race and have loved every single one. I have seen good races, great races, surprise races, disappointing races, terrible races, and miracle races. As a mom, I felt them all too!
And I am not trying to hold Andrew back - at all. That boy ran a time trial this week and came in the middle of 21 runners and PR'd by almost a minute! He is on his way. He has been to a week of classes and is finding his way (with Laura's help!). He has a lot of exciting things ahead. But I did miss him today.
This sure is a rambling post. Oh well. That's my life right now. Sam has a consult with an oral surgeon on Wednesday. He turns eight on Thursday and may have surgery on Friday! Andrew runs Friday in his first college meet. So tomorrow, I hope God reminds me to rest up and get ready. But I know He will be right there. He always is. He has shown me up front and close some miracles lately. I don't want to take for granted those things. And He is there through the big and the little - it'a all important to Him. And I am thankful for that too!
As we were going down the road, I saw Krispy Kreme. All of the sudden, it hit me. This would be one of my last trips to this meet! I did okay last year when Andrew was a senior. But it hit me that he would not be there today. When he was a freshman, we got off the interstate right at that Krispy Kreme and were so early that we stopped to get a treat. Sam did not have diabetes then, and we were new cross country people. Peter, Will, Sam, and I had left super early to get to the meet.
So I started crying. Pete thought I was crying because Andrew would not be there. I am sure that was part of it, but it's also Peter's senior year. He keeps getting injured, and I don't want him to run out of time before he has some of those great races I know he has in him. I was probably a little nervous for him.
But as we entered the park, tears were dripping off my cheeks. I kept my sunglasses on and kept to myself a lot today. And I yelled for that boy I was worried about. I also prayed for him as he got ready to run and ran. He is not where he needs to be, but we will work on that. Then I yelled for that next boy who just started running again not long ago. He did pretty well keeping up in his race. He has a mountain bike race tomorrow, so I am praying he does not hurt anything in that!
On the way home, I felt we needed to spend time with the little boy with us who turns EIGHT this week! Six, maybe. Eight, no way! So we detoured to Chuck E. Cheese and extended his little vacation. And as we left the shopping center, we stopped at Lifeway and bought a new CD so I could sing out some of my heart on the way home. Pete and Sam slept through most of that!
We met with lot of ASU students at a progressive dinner tonight and then went and cleaned. So I am pretty worn out and should sleep well tonight! I think I am tired and weary and need to watch a sad movie and cry my eyes out. Especially so the next cross country meet won't be so hard on me!
I determined the weary part yesterday before the other hit. I told Pete if Blue Cross would stop sending me stamped mail, it would save them a million dollars, I am sure! I have determined that no one likes to tie up loose ends and get things straight. They cause me so many extra phone calls and extra work because of it. So I am going to do my part and then let them do theirs. I also am getting a home phone on Monday. It's the only way I can feel better about calling 911 if we ever need them again. No one has called us back to check on the problem, so I need to take care of that the best I can too. I am going to get on the school website every day and keep up with my children. I am going to keep working to find what works with Sam to help him learn and retain what he has learned. I am going to get my house clean- and my basement! I am going to weed my flower beds in the front of my house that look like a jungle. I am going to roll out of bed and walk in the mornings and not be afraid of the sounds I hear!
But...I am also going to be more thankful. I am going to enjoy my family more. I am going to feel free to say no or give someone else a chance to do some of the easy stuff I do. I am going to read my Bible more. I am going to walk more and read more and have fun more. I am going to write more notes and cards like I used to do and tell people I hope they feel better or how they helped me last week or last year. Just to let them know...
That crying sure got me this morning. But I am not ashamed or embarrassed by it. I don't have regrets about my boys getting older. We all wish we had a little (or a lot) more time - especially if we enjoy being around our children. I stayed home with them for so long and was fortunate to work at night when they were sleeping and could work at home! I have been to almost every meet and race and have loved every single one. I have seen good races, great races, surprise races, disappointing races, terrible races, and miracle races. As a mom, I felt them all too!
And I am not trying to hold Andrew back - at all. That boy ran a time trial this week and came in the middle of 21 runners and PR'd by almost a minute! He is on his way. He has been to a week of classes and is finding his way (with Laura's help!). He has a lot of exciting things ahead. But I did miss him today.
This sure is a rambling post. Oh well. That's my life right now. Sam has a consult with an oral surgeon on Wednesday. He turns eight on Thursday and may have surgery on Friday! Andrew runs Friday in his first college meet. So tomorrow, I hope God reminds me to rest up and get ready. But I know He will be right there. He always is. He has shown me up front and close some miracles lately. I don't want to take for granted those things. And He is there through the big and the little - it'a all important to Him. And I am thankful for that too!
Sunday, August 19, 2012
College!
As Andrew heads to his first day of college on Tuesday, I find myself fluctuating with emotions. I am so happy for him and proud of him for always trying so hard and doing his best. I am relieved he will be home at night and be at Appalachian during the day. I am thankful for those who help with last minute changes in plans and for understanding and support and encouragement. As so many ask him when he is "moving in", he has answered nicely or looked at me to explain. That is when I wish he did not have to worry about the "extras" - the things he has to go against every single day. Sometimes we just roll along, and other times the "extras" stop us in our tracks. Sometimes it is a big deal. Sometimes it is just the mom who cries and prays and hopes they will go away. It gets old. But when I look up, I know God is right here; and we can keep on going.
Sometimes I will see something else much worse, and it puts things in perspective. So comments made with good intentions have not broken through my thankfulness the past few weeks as all Andrew's plans changed. Sitting in orientation this week, I felt at home. I felt we were where we belong with Andrew. He feels that way too. He is so excited. He has walked on the cross country team. He went with Laura to find all of his class buildings this afternoon. The decision to change was his. We did have some talks about commitments made, what was best, what should be considered, etc. But I prayed for a few days while he thought and prayed. Pete and I are relieved. We are thankful. And we are so excited for him.
We did find out in the last couple of weeks that his thyroid is way way way out of whack. We are trying to correct it now. I will just say that in a few weeks, he should feel like a new person; but I would not be able to function like he is! He does not complain, so it was not obvious. It was just found in a routine check up. And while I was upset that he goes to so many specialists and still was not checked, I know that it could be the cause of recent problems and should be an easy fix. And I try not to think it is something else.
Sam has been doing well. He has had some lows, and some nights I set my alarm a couple of times to check him. He loves his second grade teacher and is working on loving school. He has a "tooth" that has concerned us because it looks awful. The dentist took lots of x-rays this week and found his two permanent teeth still to come in. So he has to go to an oral surgeon to get the extra one pulled. They want to be extra careful because of his diabetes and make sure he is not in pain that will cause him not to eat. We should schedule that for soon. He is so happy our neighbor is back home afer suffering a stroke. She just got her new puppy back tonight, and she is determined that Sam and Walker will grow up together and give her dog a playmate while helping Sam with his fear of dogs. That was one of the first things she said to me when she got home from the nursing home!
Will is having fun on bike #10? He has been released by the doctor for his hand and is trying to get in shape for cross country while catching up on his bike riding. I told him that broken bones were totally prohibited. He smiled and nodded okay. I have been looking in my home magazines for projects he can do for me while in construction classes.
Peter is doing better and better with his foot but having some hamstring issues again! I hope to get him in the pool this week. I cannot believe he is a senior, and I cannot believe how fast this has all gone!
Pete goes back to Israel in October, and this time my busy project is not trying to paint the equivalent of three rooms while he is gone! While I am excited for him, I do dread the days he is gone for me. I think my project will be much smaller; although Will has been talking about "opening up" the downstairs. Most of our rooms have doors, and that has started to drive him crazy!
This morning, our Sunday School lesson was on authority - more specifically, Jesus' authority. We talked about the temple and how He turned over the tables of the moneychangers. One part of our discussion was about why people do not believe in Jesus. I really think we try to control everything ourselves - either because we like control or because we want to make sure it's covered. And some people have probably not gotten to a place in their lives where they realize they have no control. When bad things happen, those who believe can lean on Jesus and trust Him. Sometimes those who don't believe become believers. I am so thankful that everything is not dependent on me or in my control.
Toby gave our sermon from 2 Corinthians 4:8-18. I thought he was talking right to me. I am thankful we have those eternal things to look ahead to and forward to.
Thanks for praying for our family. We sure have felt those prayers the last few weeks. And we know people pray for us even when they don't know what is going on! Toby said that people are coming out of a storm, in the middle of a storm, or approaching a storm. I feel in some ways we have been in one for a very very long time. I measure that with my sleep and calmness level, I think. But today could be the day that changes. The storm may go away. I know it will one day. And though I tend to think it will be later rather than sooner, I realize that is not very optimistic. So I am looking for the calm this week. With all of Andrew's stuff, I feel my breaths deeper and better. I feel as if a weight has been lifted - a huge, heavy one.
So as my first child goes to college this week, I am so happy and not taking it for granted one bit. This is huge. And the great thing I realized is that is even bigger than I can even know. Have a great week!
Love,
Wendi
Sometimes I will see something else much worse, and it puts things in perspective. So comments made with good intentions have not broken through my thankfulness the past few weeks as all Andrew's plans changed. Sitting in orientation this week, I felt at home. I felt we were where we belong with Andrew. He feels that way too. He is so excited. He has walked on the cross country team. He went with Laura to find all of his class buildings this afternoon. The decision to change was his. We did have some talks about commitments made, what was best, what should be considered, etc. But I prayed for a few days while he thought and prayed. Pete and I are relieved. We are thankful. And we are so excited for him.
We did find out in the last couple of weeks that his thyroid is way way way out of whack. We are trying to correct it now. I will just say that in a few weeks, he should feel like a new person; but I would not be able to function like he is! He does not complain, so it was not obvious. It was just found in a routine check up. And while I was upset that he goes to so many specialists and still was not checked, I know that it could be the cause of recent problems and should be an easy fix. And I try not to think it is something else.
Sam has been doing well. He has had some lows, and some nights I set my alarm a couple of times to check him. He loves his second grade teacher and is working on loving school. He has a "tooth" that has concerned us because it looks awful. The dentist took lots of x-rays this week and found his two permanent teeth still to come in. So he has to go to an oral surgeon to get the extra one pulled. They want to be extra careful because of his diabetes and make sure he is not in pain that will cause him not to eat. We should schedule that for soon. He is so happy our neighbor is back home afer suffering a stroke. She just got her new puppy back tonight, and she is determined that Sam and Walker will grow up together and give her dog a playmate while helping Sam with his fear of dogs. That was one of the first things she said to me when she got home from the nursing home!
Will is having fun on bike #10? He has been released by the doctor for his hand and is trying to get in shape for cross country while catching up on his bike riding. I told him that broken bones were totally prohibited. He smiled and nodded okay. I have been looking in my home magazines for projects he can do for me while in construction classes.
Peter is doing better and better with his foot but having some hamstring issues again! I hope to get him in the pool this week. I cannot believe he is a senior, and I cannot believe how fast this has all gone!
Pete goes back to Israel in October, and this time my busy project is not trying to paint the equivalent of three rooms while he is gone! While I am excited for him, I do dread the days he is gone for me. I think my project will be much smaller; although Will has been talking about "opening up" the downstairs. Most of our rooms have doors, and that has started to drive him crazy!
This morning, our Sunday School lesson was on authority - more specifically, Jesus' authority. We talked about the temple and how He turned over the tables of the moneychangers. One part of our discussion was about why people do not believe in Jesus. I really think we try to control everything ourselves - either because we like control or because we want to make sure it's covered. And some people have probably not gotten to a place in their lives where they realize they have no control. When bad things happen, those who believe can lean on Jesus and trust Him. Sometimes those who don't believe become believers. I am so thankful that everything is not dependent on me or in my control.
Toby gave our sermon from 2 Corinthians 4:8-18. I thought he was talking right to me. I am thankful we have those eternal things to look ahead to and forward to.
Thanks for praying for our family. We sure have felt those prayers the last few weeks. And we know people pray for us even when they don't know what is going on! Toby said that people are coming out of a storm, in the middle of a storm, or approaching a storm. I feel in some ways we have been in one for a very very long time. I measure that with my sleep and calmness level, I think. But today could be the day that changes. The storm may go away. I know it will one day. And though I tend to think it will be later rather than sooner, I realize that is not very optimistic. So I am looking for the calm this week. With all of Andrew's stuff, I feel my breaths deeper and better. I feel as if a weight has been lifted - a huge, heavy one.
So as my first child goes to college this week, I am so happy and not taking it for granted one bit. This is huge. And the great thing I realized is that is even bigger than I can even know. Have a great week!
Love,
Wendi
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Another School Year...
Watauga County Schools started today! It's hard to believe. Sam loved 2nd grade and his teacher. I was nervous all day for some reason. Just concerned that he was being watched closely enough after the other week I guess. Once we get his stuff settled more, I will feel better. I just wish it was easier to do it and get it done. His teacher is wonderful, and he has so many people to look out for him. Still, it was hard to wonder about him all morning until I finally called!
Peter and Will said their days were good. They are happy to see their friends.
Andrew was home today by himself! I would have traded places with him for a bit! His plans have changed for fall, and we are still working on that. He feels good about where he is, and we do too.
Andrew's thyroid is way off. Not just a little bit. Not by a lot. It is off by more than a lot. I am so upset that I have not known this before now. But he goes to a specialist. He has labs all of the time. I guess I will have to be more careful in watching some things. Hopefully he will bounce back quickly to a good number. I must admit, it is frustrating.
It is hard for me to depend on others sometimes. I am so disappointed lately. Will asked me the other week if I like anyone right now. I guess he was right. I was frustrated with some things with Sam. I am frustrated about our county 911 system that will not work for me when I need it. I am frustrated that people do not answer their phones or call back or follow up. I get frustrated when I need a little help with my child, and I cannot seem to get it. So I guess sometimes it does seem like I don't like people. Maybe I should just not like the way they act - or don't act.
I am trying to focus on what I do know and what is working and go from there. Trying. And in the last week or so, I have had people step up to help me. They have been there to listen and guide and give help where I needed it. So I do know what it is like for people to want to help - whether it's their job or not. And that is so encouraging.
Happy School Year to my boys. Two at WHS, one at HP, and one in college! It's hard to believe! We are so blessed. These boys have so much ahead of them this year. It will be exciting!
Peter and Will said their days were good. They are happy to see their friends.
Andrew was home today by himself! I would have traded places with him for a bit! His plans have changed for fall, and we are still working on that. He feels good about where he is, and we do too.
Andrew's thyroid is way off. Not just a little bit. Not by a lot. It is off by more than a lot. I am so upset that I have not known this before now. But he goes to a specialist. He has labs all of the time. I guess I will have to be more careful in watching some things. Hopefully he will bounce back quickly to a good number. I must admit, it is frustrating.
It is hard for me to depend on others sometimes. I am so disappointed lately. Will asked me the other week if I like anyone right now. I guess he was right. I was frustrated with some things with Sam. I am frustrated about our county 911 system that will not work for me when I need it. I am frustrated that people do not answer their phones or call back or follow up. I get frustrated when I need a little help with my child, and I cannot seem to get it. So I guess sometimes it does seem like I don't like people. Maybe I should just not like the way they act - or don't act.
I am trying to focus on what I do know and what is working and go from there. Trying. And in the last week or so, I have had people step up to help me. They have been there to listen and guide and give help where I needed it. So I do know what it is like for people to want to help - whether it's their job or not. And that is so encouraging.
Happy School Year to my boys. Two at WHS, one at HP, and one in college! It's hard to believe! We are so blessed. These boys have so much ahead of them this year. It will be exciting!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Thankful
Wow. It has been a crazy few days. So many things to consider and pray about. So many messages coming from all over to encourage and help. I really love looking back over this week and remembering the many "conversations" I have had or messages I have received and know they came from God. I have no doubts. People have spoken out. They have typed the message, prayed, and hit the send button. I am overwhelmed with thankfulness. There are so many things. I will one day be more specific, but so many things have worked out - not just some obvious things but so many others. And I know that I don't know everything!
I was so tired today that I fell asleep sitting up this afternoon! I went to bed late last night after Sam's sugar got too low, and I had to wait to check him a couple of more times. He was fine, but it's hard to get some carbs and peanut butter into a tired little seven year old whose blood sugar has made him even more tired! I am thankful he is cooperative most of the time, and he becomes cooperative pretty quickly in those few times he is not!
I am thankful for the friends and family who have been in touch over the past few days. So many. Some knew I needed them. Others did not. But nothing was random. It all fit into the puzzle, and nothing was repeated or the same. I am in awe of the messages I have received from those willing to send them.
I am thankful for my friends who love me and pray for me - and my decisions and through my difficulties. I am thankful for friends who love me and pray for me even when they don't even know how desperately it is needed right that moment. I am thankful for friends who can help me laugh through a hurtful situation - because do I really have that time to waste - having my feelings hurt? If not for them, I would take the time - believe me, I would.
I am thankful for the promises of God. I have so many things I am working on. I need to check on Sam's glasses soon. I need to check with the dentist about a certain tooth. I need to check on Andrew's labs that did not come back normal for his thyroid tests. I need to check on some paperwork. I am anxious about Sam starting second grade and being without us. I am happy but apprehensive to have another senior so soon. I need to stay on top of one child's school work this year. I need to write more notes and emails and get rid of more stuff in my house and pay more attention to my family and neighbors. The list goes on and on. But I know that God is with me. He will show me the way if I keep my eyes on Him.
I am thankful that now that summer is almost over, I can go on a quick trip with the "girls". These girls have known me my whole life or close to it. We will go to the same places, eat at the same restaurant (and maybe have the same waitress we had once for 3-4 years in a row), talk, giggle, sneak on FB when my sister is not looking, lift weights, do water aerobics, maybe walk four miles to Krispy Kreme (it just did not seem that far at the time!), send each other silly texts while riding or walking together, play little jokes on each other (only nice ones!), make store returns for each other, talk about our children, lament that my sister's favorite outlet is no longer there, call and check on our families while we are gone, pray together, and just love spending precious time being together. As we get older, it's harder to find the one weekend; and the time is more precious. We have been doing this for at least 18-20 years. One year, I was almost to Bristol and threw gum out the window only to have it fly back into the car and into my thick, long hair. My niece Laura looked at me like I was crazy when I walked into her house with gum in my hair and calmly got the peanut butter and pulled it out! I had just read that tip in a magazine. Nothing was going to ruin my day!
I am just overwhelmed with thankfulness this week. It has been a good week. I am tired, but it's a good tired. I would not trade it. I have been bombarded with so much love that I got the message. He is with me. He loves me. He has overwhelmed me this week in particular.
I was so tired today that I fell asleep sitting up this afternoon! I went to bed late last night after Sam's sugar got too low, and I had to wait to check him a couple of more times. He was fine, but it's hard to get some carbs and peanut butter into a tired little seven year old whose blood sugar has made him even more tired! I am thankful he is cooperative most of the time, and he becomes cooperative pretty quickly in those few times he is not!
I am thankful for the friends and family who have been in touch over the past few days. So many. Some knew I needed them. Others did not. But nothing was random. It all fit into the puzzle, and nothing was repeated or the same. I am in awe of the messages I have received from those willing to send them.
I am thankful for my friends who love me and pray for me - and my decisions and through my difficulties. I am thankful for friends who love me and pray for me even when they don't even know how desperately it is needed right that moment. I am thankful for friends who can help me laugh through a hurtful situation - because do I really have that time to waste - having my feelings hurt? If not for them, I would take the time - believe me, I would.
I am thankful for the promises of God. I have so many things I am working on. I need to check on Sam's glasses soon. I need to check with the dentist about a certain tooth. I need to check on Andrew's labs that did not come back normal for his thyroid tests. I need to check on some paperwork. I am anxious about Sam starting second grade and being without us. I am happy but apprehensive to have another senior so soon. I need to stay on top of one child's school work this year. I need to write more notes and emails and get rid of more stuff in my house and pay more attention to my family and neighbors. The list goes on and on. But I know that God is with me. He will show me the way if I keep my eyes on Him.
I am thankful that now that summer is almost over, I can go on a quick trip with the "girls". These girls have known me my whole life or close to it. We will go to the same places, eat at the same restaurant (and maybe have the same waitress we had once for 3-4 years in a row), talk, giggle, sneak on FB when my sister is not looking, lift weights, do water aerobics, maybe walk four miles to Krispy Kreme (it just did not seem that far at the time!), send each other silly texts while riding or walking together, play little jokes on each other (only nice ones!), make store returns for each other, talk about our children, lament that my sister's favorite outlet is no longer there, call and check on our families while we are gone, pray together, and just love spending precious time being together. As we get older, it's harder to find the one weekend; and the time is more precious. We have been doing this for at least 18-20 years. One year, I was almost to Bristol and threw gum out the window only to have it fly back into the car and into my thick, long hair. My niece Laura looked at me like I was crazy when I walked into her house with gum in my hair and calmly got the peanut butter and pulled it out! I had just read that tip in a magazine. Nothing was going to ruin my day!
I am just overwhelmed with thankfulness this week. It has been a good week. I am tired, but it's a good tired. I would not trade it. I have been bombarded with so much love that I got the message. He is with me. He loves me. He has overwhelmed me this week in particular.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Blessed This Weekend
After a difficult week, our family was blessed with a good, peaceful weekend. We worked so hard Friday night and Saturday - helping Pete with a project. The more people we had, the faster the project went. It was hard work but went by fast. We were all together. We all worked hard together, laughed some together, rubbed our aching backs and arms together, and just were together. They may not have appreciated it as much as I have. Despite the hard work, it was good just to be together in one place. It's good to know I enjoy being with my own family so much - no matter what we are doing!
We are blessed to have a daddy in our family who works so hard. He is not afraid to have one or two or four or more jobs. He works hard and appreciates simple things. He took the boys to buy a new TV last weekend. We have not bought a new TV in many many years. They have been talking about one for years. They did not get anything fancy, but it was much better than what we have been watching - not that I would have known the difference. They have all been tickled and have enjoyed it so much. It has come in handy for them to sit together when it's hot and watch something together. Andy Griffith is a favorite. Sam has tons of PBS favorites still.
We are blessed that Andrew is okay. He had a rough Monday night. He has a dad who can do what I cannot do to help him. I am so thankful he was home. So Andrew is okay. The rough night is over. We are still working on his college stuff. He is excited, and I am trying to be.
We are blessed that Peter can run again. He has missed it. He is looking forward to his senior year and has senior pictures this week! I cannot believe it! He held Sam while I threw on some clothes Friday morning while we heard the sirens getting closer. While Sam usually teases Peter and tells him he does not love him, Sam buried his head in Peter's shoulder and said over and over, "I love you, Peter."
We are blessed that Will is who he is - though it is difficult to keep up with him sometimes. He has so many things going for him and can do so many things. I just pray that he will be able to use his many talents and abilities to serve the Lord when he is older - though he could right now. He is the one you would want on the disaster response teams or building something that would be difficult for most of us. Our job is to stay right with him and help him find the things the Lord has for him.
We are extra blessed this weekend that Sam is okay. He woke up quiet Friday. I never leave in the mornings without checking his blood sugar. I was getting ready to do that when I asked if he was okay. He jumped off my bed like something had bitten him. He was screaming and crying and clutching at me - all of the sudden. He was screaming for me to help him and was screaming "Mommy" and "Daddy" over and over. He said things were crawling on his arms. He kept saying other things that tell us he was so scared. I was able to get him into the kitchen and check his blood sugar, but by the time we got in there he was jerking. I cannot tell you how I got icing on his gums or poured the orange juice that I sat in the floor and poured down his mouth while he was still screaming. Well, I do know how really. It was God helping me. He showed me what to do when I could not think clearly - over the screams and frustration that I could not get anyone to hear me yet. Sam was terrorized. It was not until I got the sugar in him that I could run upstairs and get the boys to help. My 911 call did no good until Andrew got on and gave them our address that I had been shouting constantly over Sam's screams. We sat on the couch while we listened to the sirens getting closer and closer. The EMT's checked him, and I thought he was still trembling; but then I figured out it was me. We had our doctor check him out, and he as been close by ever since. He told me what was crawling on him and that he knows they were not real, now. I have talked to him to let him know that he needs to let us know if he feels anything like this coming on.
I have been fighting feeling sorry for myself all week. I have been tired, and I am old enough to know that is wasted energy!
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
Such a simple pair of verses to try to remember when I don't understand and when I doubt myself. That is what I do mostly. I am thankful for the ones who remind me Who is in control. They gently remind me that no matter what, He is here.
Thanks to those who pray for our family. We appreciate the prayers and know God will give us what we need - even on those tough days or during the tough weeks.
A dear friend sent me this song that I had not heard before. I am sure someone else can benefit from it too.
http://soundcloud.com/plumb-1/08-need-you-now-how-many-times
"Need You Now" Plumb
Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
So, I guess you're tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here
Chorus:
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise
Chorus
Though I walk, though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take
How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?
Chorus
I need you now
I need you now
We are blessed to have a daddy in our family who works so hard. He is not afraid to have one or two or four or more jobs. He works hard and appreciates simple things. He took the boys to buy a new TV last weekend. We have not bought a new TV in many many years. They have been talking about one for years. They did not get anything fancy, but it was much better than what we have been watching - not that I would have known the difference. They have all been tickled and have enjoyed it so much. It has come in handy for them to sit together when it's hot and watch something together. Andy Griffith is a favorite. Sam has tons of PBS favorites still.
We are blessed that Andrew is okay. He had a rough Monday night. He has a dad who can do what I cannot do to help him. I am so thankful he was home. So Andrew is okay. The rough night is over. We are still working on his college stuff. He is excited, and I am trying to be.
We are blessed that Peter can run again. He has missed it. He is looking forward to his senior year and has senior pictures this week! I cannot believe it! He held Sam while I threw on some clothes Friday morning while we heard the sirens getting closer. While Sam usually teases Peter and tells him he does not love him, Sam buried his head in Peter's shoulder and said over and over, "I love you, Peter."
We are blessed that Will is who he is - though it is difficult to keep up with him sometimes. He has so many things going for him and can do so many things. I just pray that he will be able to use his many talents and abilities to serve the Lord when he is older - though he could right now. He is the one you would want on the disaster response teams or building something that would be difficult for most of us. Our job is to stay right with him and help him find the things the Lord has for him.
We are extra blessed this weekend that Sam is okay. He woke up quiet Friday. I never leave in the mornings without checking his blood sugar. I was getting ready to do that when I asked if he was okay. He jumped off my bed like something had bitten him. He was screaming and crying and clutching at me - all of the sudden. He was screaming for me to help him and was screaming "Mommy" and "Daddy" over and over. He said things were crawling on his arms. He kept saying other things that tell us he was so scared. I was able to get him into the kitchen and check his blood sugar, but by the time we got in there he was jerking. I cannot tell you how I got icing on his gums or poured the orange juice that I sat in the floor and poured down his mouth while he was still screaming. Well, I do know how really. It was God helping me. He showed me what to do when I could not think clearly - over the screams and frustration that I could not get anyone to hear me yet. Sam was terrorized. It was not until I got the sugar in him that I could run upstairs and get the boys to help. My 911 call did no good until Andrew got on and gave them our address that I had been shouting constantly over Sam's screams. We sat on the couch while we listened to the sirens getting closer and closer. The EMT's checked him, and I thought he was still trembling; but then I figured out it was me. We had our doctor check him out, and he as been close by ever since. He told me what was crawling on him and that he knows they were not real, now. I have talked to him to let him know that he needs to let us know if he feels anything like this coming on.
I have been fighting feeling sorry for myself all week. I have been tired, and I am old enough to know that is wasted energy!
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
Such a simple pair of verses to try to remember when I don't understand and when I doubt myself. That is what I do mostly. I am thankful for the ones who remind me Who is in control. They gently remind me that no matter what, He is here.
Thanks to those who pray for our family. We appreciate the prayers and know God will give us what we need - even on those tough days or during the tough weeks.
A dear friend sent me this song that I had not heard before. I am sure someone else can benefit from it too.
http://soundcloud.com/plumb-1/08-need-you-now-how-many-times
"Need You Now" Plumb
Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
So, I guess you're tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here
Chorus:
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise
Chorus
Though I walk, though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take
How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?
Chorus
I need you now
I need you now
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)