Another Tough Night

Last night was rough. Pete got in yesterday morning, and we were so happy to see him. Andrew left to go to a track meeting before 9:00, without me knowing. Pete went to bed, after traveling over 6600 miles in the last day, and he barely woke when a call came in. I noticed the different ring and asked him about it. He said he saw it was from Coach and thought he could not answer because he was in Israel! I went upstairs to ask Andrew why Coach might be calling, and his room was dark. My heart sank as Will told me he had left for a meeting. At that moment, my phone rang - Peter. He was heading over to the field house to check on Andrew. They had called him. I was in my pj's with my glasses on, ready for bed. I jumped in some clothes while waking Pete up. He got dressed, and we drove off with the flashers on. I drove while Pete talked to Peter. Coach had called me and told me they had called 911 since Andrew was purple.

I was in disbelief - not expecting the call since he has been doing so well for so long. I was sad, but I was determined to get to him as quickly as I could safely. We drove up to the stadium and were met with all of the lights from two fire trucks, two ambulances, police, and we were thankful that Peter's friend was waving us down and showing us where to go. I ran up the stairs to a crowded hallway with all of these people in uniforms. I worked my way past them to see Andrew. And they were clearing the way. They knew I needed to be right beside him. It was probably almost a minute before I realized that the fireman holding the oxygen for Andrew was Lonnie, a fellow church member and friend. Andrew was back, so I could breathe better. We answered questions and assured them that we have a night plan. We have figured out what seems safest and best at night to get rest. We walked a wobbly Andrew down the hall and down the elevator and out to the car. We thanked everyone and were thankful he was okay.

We got home and got him in bed. About an hour later, I heard him get up. His head was killing him. So we got him a little Pepsi and ibuprofen, and I tucked him back in bed in my spot. I was within earshot on the den couch (this is where the house plan works out well that our bedroom is where a garage was supposed to be originally). After that, we slept well until after 5:00. Everyone got to school and work on time. All homework had been done and finished up. I took Andrew to the doctor and got some labs (please pray the liver labs that crept up just a little will be normal when we check them again next week) and had him looked at before he went on to class. Most people would not expect someone to go to class the day after something like that. But Andrew does better on a schedule getting his stuff done. He does not like to be behind. Coach told him not to come to practice, and he was relieved to have a little break since he was so tired. He did well and came home this afternoon and took a nap. No headache today. Nothing. Just tired.

It's hard to know your friends and teammates saw you in that state. It's sad to do so well for so long and then have to start over. I know for me that the longer we go without an emergency, the better I feel. I am not fanatical about missing any phone call. I breathe more deeply and feel more at peace more of the time. Then something happens, and I am on high alert again. I sleep lighter and keep waiting for a call. I am sure Andrew goes through something similar, but he does not think about it all of the time like I tend to do. Peter put a post on FB about talking to God about these things and feeling the burden being lifted from his shoulders. So I have tried to do that today too. I let myself feel what I don't like to feel and get it over with. I keep praying. And this weekend, I will watch a sad movie to get the crying out. It's just stuff that seems to help after trying to do the main thing. Turning it all over to God. He is still in control. I don't have to understand. I don't have to think too far ahead (which I am so bad about doing this so much). And I will have to constantly remind myself and be reminded of this.

I pulled up the song by Fernando Ortega last night called "Jesus, King of Angels". It is a song about watching over this house tonight and keeping the fears and doubts away. It reminds me that God cares about every single little thing that happens. I will post the words below.

That's all for now. Andrew and I are watching Shark Tank. My world traveler is asleep as are my two blondies. I am enjoying the normalcy of this evening. Andrew runs in Regionals next week in Charlottesville, VA. Please pray for him to be better and be able to finish training. Please pray for safety for him and the team as they travel.

Thanks to all of those who pray for us. Thank you for caring for us. If you don't have this assurance, please ask someone about it. Andrew knows where he is going when he dies. I know where he is going. If I didn't, I cannot imagine facing this time and time again. Even Pete, flying across the ocean into what some consider a dangerous place, knows where he is going so ultimately does not do stupid things but does not worry needlessly while gone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wOhVh2bct8

"Jesus, King of Angels" Fernando Ortega

Jesus, King of Angels, Heaven's light Shine Your face upon this house tonight
 Let no evil come into my dreams Light of Heaven keep me in Your peace

Remind me how You made dark spirits flee
And spoke Your power to the raging sea
And spoke Your mercy to a sinful man
Remind me Jesus, this is what I am

The universe is vast beyond the stars
But You are mindful when the sparrow falls
And mindful of the anxious thoughts
That find me, surround me and bind me

With all my heart I love You, Sovereign Lord
Tomorrow let me love You even more
And rise to speak the goodness of Your name
Until I close my eyes and sleep again

The universe is vast beyond the stars
But You are mindful when the sparrow falls
And mindful of the anxious thoughts
That find me, surround me and bind me

Jesus, King of Angels, Heaven's light
Hold my hand and keep me through this night

Two Flat Tires ~ and the blessings found in them!

Two Flat Tires ~ and the blessings found in them I went to watch Will run in Hickory last Wednesday. It was so hot when Sam and I got out of the car in Lenoir to run into Walmart for Gatorade. We drove as fast as we could to get there on time, and I was a little stressed pulling into a parking spot – thinking the race was getting ready to start. We had left in plenty of time but had gotten stuck in traffic coming down the mountain. It was so hard to turn into the spot that I felt like my power steering had gone out! After the races, Will came out to check for me and found my front tire almost flat. I drove to two stations to put air in it before I remembered I have AAA! I pulled into the Hobby Lobby parking lot and waited for the tow truck. Sam and I went across the parking lot and got some dinner (mostly for him as he had not eaten in a while). We waited in the parking lot, and I looked longingly at Hobby Lobby wishing I had time to go in and buy even just one thing. The man from Fisher’s Towing came and put my spare tire on, and Sam and I were on our way home. We had the sweetest conversation about Heaven, angels, the devil, and Jesus. We talked about how things are not perfect on this earth and how God knows all and controls all, and that there is no way we can see the big picture. And that is why even though he (Sam) has diabetes and Andrew has seizures and other things (and Peter has nosebleeds, Sam added), we know God is in control and that there is a bigger picture. We trust that and know that God is good and loves us and takes care of us all of the time – even when someone is in a horrible situation. When he asked about angels, he brought up the time I was shaken awake to find Andrew in the floor beside his bed. We talked about how God uses people and can do things without people’s help (like shaking my shoulder in the middle of the night) when He is helping us. So the first blessing was the sweet conversation and time we had because of that flat tire. While we are thankful for the people who stopped and asked if we had help, and we are thankful for AAA, we are most thankful for the timing. And I was just in Hendersonville at a meet last weekend where I could have had a flat! The second nail was found this weekend while washing my car. I kept trying to spray something off a back tire and found a big roofing nail. Another one? We had already decided to get new tires, knowing we needed to in September or October. So I was thankful I found the nail BEFORE the new tires which are getting put on tomorrow! And at 45, I am so thankful for my dad who got my tires much cheaper than I could get them when I checked here. I have been trying to keep things in perspective – the right perspective. And the tires have helped me see things to be thankful for that I might have missed. Andrew did great in his first ASU meet. He was 11th overall and 4th on the team. As Pete puts it, if the race had been three yards shorter, he would have been 10th and 3rd on the team. But we were so excited for him to be up there and to stay up there. He has gained back a couple of pounds from the 5-7 he recently dropped. He really likes his classes this semester. Will is doing well so far in his meets. He ran the Son Run 5K this past weekend and won. Our family has run this race for many many years, and this may have been the last one! So we are glad he ran it and represented our family once again. Sam is doing well. He just turned nine and loves playing with Legos. He is getting so tall and loves to see Peter. He misses him more than he realizes. When they had the bomb threats called in for all of our schools last Tuesday, the first thing he said when he saw me was, “Mommy, I am not scared. I am not scared.” Bless his heart. Maybe I looked scared or stressed when I found him at the Methodist Church! Peter is loving school and says English and American History are his favorite classes. He has made a lot of friends and enjoys living in the same hall Pete did as a freshman! He works out a lot and is easing back into running. Our sermon yesterday really hit the mark. It really spoke to me. I have to slow down. I have to put things in better perspective. I have to take that time to “be still” and be able to listen and not always be running around or talking or even thinking so hard! I found a new CD that I love. It has hymns. Some are the hymns sung by some of my favorite artists. Others are remixed. If you google Nichole Nordeman and “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus (Look Up)”, you will love that song! Thanks for reading. Thanks for praying for our family!

Updates and Changes

Andrew's appointments went well a few weeks ago.  We really had to work to get both appointments on the same day, so Sam ended up going with us; and we left very very early.  We had a hard time keeping his (Sam's) blood sugar in normal ranges as he would not eat breakfast - so unlike him!  He would not eat until after lunchtime.  But he finally straightened out and was a little bit droopy for the first half of the day. 

Andrew's pulmonologist is the best.  We saw him at a new location, and we found it pretty easily without a GPS.  I am probably the person who needs one the most, but the verbal directions from their office were great!  Dr.Black went over EVERYTHING with us.  He even told Andrew how to tolerate all of the antibiotics better and put things in his notes that other doctors probably thought but never shared.  Some of those things actually helped me feel better about "possibilities" lurking in the back of my thoughts.  Thinking hard on Andrew's illnesses can be helpful at times, but it can also wear me out.  Anyway, he was very happy with how he is; and he will check on him again in December right before Christmas.

Our next appointment was good.  At the immunologist.  Things seemed a little off kilter at the office, and we could not get labs due to the timing of the appointment (but they had changed it - not us!).  The doctor was kind and checked over everything (we took labs and office visit notes to both docs), and he knew what he was looking for.  The only bad thing I picked up on was that he no longer talks about when Andrew can maybe try going off the infusions.  He told me about a shot that was trying to get FDA approval.  I hate that he can possibly be tied to this for the rest of his life.  It's not just the drug or having to do it - but it's the cost hanging over his head.  Even though this is rare, insurance coverage can be horrible.  It is scary.  And all of the new stuff scares me because of trouble they have caused before.  Comments from an insurance employee like "He needs to get a new drug or a new insurance policy" are very scary to me.  It makes me mad, but I have been trying up until the next dose time to get meds so Andrew will not have seizures or something.  Fortunately, his drug company covers what insurance does not.  I know God has made this way for us to get him this one medicine.  And I should keep on trusting Him.  I just cannot help but worry what will happen if that help is no longer available.  I do not want him to die from pneumonia or a seizure because of an insurance company.  Those thoughts do lurk in the back of my mind too.  And I constantly have to pray about those worries.

The immunologist asked if I thought Andrew was better, worse, or about the same (like an eye doctor!).  I told him that he seems okay,  no worse, but I was concerned because of all of the respiratory infections he has had on the infusions.  I just now remembered that I do not have his latest numbers on his levels because they did not call me!  I will have to check on that on Monday!

Sam's endocrine appointment went well on Monday.  His a1c was up just a little bit, but we had already changed his Lantus dose (24 hour insulin) and ratios; and that has helped.  But he has had some low lows in the past few weeks, which is unlike him.  I hope he settles in well at school that starts on Monday.  It's scary to send him if I think he may be low.  He keeps going, so it's hard to catch.  And once he feels badly enough, he gets past the point of telling anyone.  That is just how bad it can make you feel.  I have already prayed that his teachers and others around him will be able to tune into how he does.

I think this is enough updates for one post!  I have more.  College, high school, and elementary school start this week.  I have been getting stuff ready for everyone and going to meetings, and not getting much accomplished at some of those meetings, etc.  I think I need to write a post about how parents feel and need to be treated sometimes!  I also had a big meeting about 911 calls that I probably should not share about.  But I can ask that people pray if I have to call 911 that I will get someone who will tune in and do their best to help me with whatever the situation is.

We appreciate those who pray for us.  We know the prayers are going up, and we can feel them.  And no matter how frustrated, scared, or even angry I get being a mother, I know God loves my children so much more than I ever could.  And I have to remind myself to keep that perspective when I walk through the difficult days.  No reason to make things harder, but I tend to!  Thanks!

P.S.  Andrew was 4th in The Bear out of over 800 runners!  And Will got 11th on his first trip up the mountain with a great time!!!

Andrew on Friday

We had a sunny day in Boone today, and, while I really don’t mind rain, I was glad for the break especially for those who had flooding.

I am asking for prayer for Andrew this Friday as we go to two appointments in Charlotte.  The first is a work-in at 8:30 at the pulmonologist, and the second is a few miles down the road at 10:00 with the immunologist.  We will leave super early because of traffic – which means we will have to get home as soon as we can after The Bear!

Andrew is looking forward to running the race again this year, but he is so tired this week.  I am trying to keep his “tired” in perspective – he could not finish his 12 mile run yesterday after church and had to stop at 11 ½.  Pete told him he could just run more today – of course he was kidding! 

For some reason, I have dreaded these appointments – well, one of them.  I keep thinking that the treatments (weekly infusions) were supposed to be 18 months to two years.  We have passed the two year mark, and he has struggled a lot with bronchitis and pneumonia-like illness since our last visit in December.  I looked back over his appointments, and I feel disheartened that he has had to take strong antibiotics several times.  This is exactly what the infusions are supposed to help.  And while he is still getting sick so frequently, I don’t think stopping them is the best thing for Andrew.

And there is more.  I try not to borrow more things to worry about, but it is right in my face.  And it’s overwhelming, and it’s hard.  And I worry that Andrew will feel discouraged which makes me feel like I have to hide mine.  So for the other things weighing in with these, I feel a constant pull and tug; and I cannot seem to let it go or get anything checked off my worry list.  And I know better!  I know so much better!

So Carla printed off Andrew’s labs since January, and I have his sick dates and prescription dates.  It just does not look like he is doing better. 

I know Who the Healer is.  I know Him very well, and I trust Him to take care of Andrew.  And it’s not that I think He needs me.  But I do feel that He called me to be Andrew’s mother, and I do feel He uses doctors and medicine to help people.  But it is never cut and dry.  There are choices, hard choices.  You have to choose the doctor and medicines carefully.  I have chosen before and wrecked something else in his fragile body.  I did not do it on purpose.  I have learned to listen and ask more and not just trust anyone.  And I believe Andrew has really good doctors who care about him and want to help him. 

Peter was really sick last Friday.  He had a horrible headache, and I tried to get him squared away so he could go to sleep and wake up much better like we usually do.  But he started throwing up and could not seem to stop or to feel better.  I methodically did all I knew to do (including calling a friend to run it by her!).  And I put my hands on him and whispered a prayer for him.  I practically had to carry him from the bathroom to my bed, and I could still do it.  And I wanted him to feel better fast.  I wanted him to turn the corner.  I wanted him well.  And when he finally fell into a fitful sleep, I made sure he had a cool cloth on his pounding head and a fan to give him some soothing noise and a cool breeze. 

And when he felt better, I wished all of their illnesses were like that.  Quick and then better.  No residual effects.  No rush to the ER or the specialist.  I let myself, in my tired state, feel a little sorry for myself.  I took my eyes off of Him, and now I am trying to regain my focus.

Psalm 56:3 says, “Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.”  David was hiding from the Philistines.  Now there is real fear.  I think my problem is fear.  It’s not that I don’t trust God.  It’s not that I don’t have faith.  I just let that fear creep in.  And I know He is stronger than anything I fear.  But I get wrapped up in it.  And He will help me unwrap myself.  He wants me close to Him and not bound up by fear.

So please pray for Andrew this Friday – and this Thursday as he and Will will be running up Grandfather Mountain.  And Sam who has crazy numbers with no explanation right now.  And Peter who is starting to run again.  Please pray for me that I will be able to remember quickly Who conquers fear and everything else that comes against me, as a child of God.

Happy Mother's Day!

I am so blessed.  I have been blessed with a wonderful mother and am so thankful to still have one wonderful grandmother.  I grew up with a lot of grandparents and great grandparents.  They had brothers and sisters, so I also had lots of great aunts and uncles and great greats!  They all loved me.  While I did not realize how fortunate I was to almost have too many places to go on Christmas Eve, I sure was.  As they started dying, their loss was felt more and more; and I was so glad I took time to go to family reunions and had to when I was little!  It makes you understand yourself a little more, I think, when you see others acting like you - sometimes good and sometimes not so good!  But it was always entertaining and filled with fun. 

So tomorrow is Mother's Day, and I am so thankful for my mom and my grandmother and all of the others I have to help me through this journey.  I have an aunt who is like a second mom.  I have friends who are like second moms and have had to fill in from time to time with words of wisdom.  God has given me so much and so many to help me.  Sometimes we don't listen to the obvious people, and God is gracious enough to send others to get through!

When I was growing up, I knew my mom was the smartest person I knew.  She could help us with school work and with our projects.  She could make clothes for us and decorate our rooms better than any DIY network show.  She could work inside and outside the house.  She was thoughtful and took care of many people in many different ways.  She helped us with our spiritual walks and was honest with us so we would learn lessons that we would need.  My dad worked hard - six days a week for most of my childhood - so my mom made sure we were taken care of and that we had what we needed when we needed it!

When I was older, I remember talking to my mom one day and she was telling me she probably was not going to an activity she always enjoyed.  She told me things had been "different" or funny, but she did not know why.  That was the beginning of the end of her time at the church where we all grew up, got baptized, got married, held funerals, and had a huge family.  That time was the toughest my mom ever went through.  I remember she asked people what was wrong, and they would not tell her.  It was unbelievable how she was treated by people she had known for years.  It was almost like an Amish shunning.  To this day, she still does not know who stirred up what against her.  No one would tell her even what it was all about.  I harbor a tiny bit of bitterness there still that pops up when I see certain people acting as though they are working for the Lord.  I know they were involved and never have gone to her and settled things.  But I have to remember that I have probably unwittingly been a part of the devil's work at times too, so I try to not let it take root.  It was a hurtful time, and I am thankful it did not do more damage to her physically than it did.  My mom was diagnosed with MS in early 1996.

After weeks and weeks of hurt, my parents began attending a church where the pastor we had had at their previous church was an interim.  They have worked in that church and found lots more families to love and support and have gotten a tremendous outpouring of love and support.  I know God works things together for good.  Sometimes the journey seems as though it may kill us and that we will never recover, but He is always faithful and will never leave us.

Joni Eareckson Tada had a devotional that reminded us what we do to people may not be seen by them, but it is ALL seen by God.  So we are to watch what we do, and we should be assured that He sees all and will help us through what others seek to do against us.  That is comforting - for He is the One Who loves us the most.  I think knowing that got my mom through those dark days when she lost so many.

But then others were there who had been there before.  And they have always been and continue to be faithful friends who believe in the same One and want to work for Him and not their own selfish desires.

My mom is not perfect, but she is an example of the Lord living through her.  And she always points us, her children, to Him - not herself or what she thinks.  She shares things she has learned and is still learning, so we will be quickly reminded of the perspective we should have or strive for.

Happy Mother's Day to my mother.  She is an encourager, a supporter, a prayer warrior, a hard worker, a great example, a beautiful person, the most thoughtful person I know, a great seamstress, a great cleaner, the best chocolate cake baker, and so many other things.  But the most important job God gave her on this earth while serving Him was to be our mom.  We are so glad He gave her to us!

May 2 ~ 2012 & 2013

I wrote this email earlier today before we went to the neurologist.  We increased Andrew's new (old drug he took 2-6 grade) and will decrease the other main one until he is off of it in 5 weeks!  Please pray for his liver and for the medicine to work as well as it did before.

I thank God that He worked in the way He did last year.  And I thank Him that he brought it straight to my attention today in my Beth Moore book.

We are having Scooby Doo weather here today (misty and foggy).  Will has a mountain bike race, so we hope to end this day well!   Thanks!

~~~~~~~~~


This is the National Day of Prayer in our country - in case you did not know or remember!  I am reminding you, because I would rather be reminded now than late at night when I finally hear something about it on TV.

Today, as I opened my Beth Moore devotional for May 2, I saw something I had written last year.  The heading on the page is "When was the last time you felt like everything in your life was quaking except your stability in Christ?"  It talks about Abraham and being willing to follow in obedience and asking for guidance - even when we don't know where we are going or we don't understand.  It refers to the promises in Isaiah that God will satisfy our needs and strengthen us.  We can lean on His power - which has everything we need "for life and godliness."

Anyway, what I scribbled was "Andrew - seizure May 1 - pm.  Won 3200 conference May 2, 2012."  I remember Pete hesitating with the Diastat, knowing if he gave it to him, Andrew probably could not run his meet the next day.  And we both knew how hard he had worked and how badly he wanted to run.  But then we both said if something happened to him, he could not run anyway.  There should have been no way that Andrew could run the next day.  He could not even get up the next morning!  But he did, and he got to school in time to make himself eligible to run later that day.  He sat in a chair near me and drank Gatorade and water all day at the meet at Lenoir Rhyne.  And then he ran - the next to the last event.  I watched (in turn 4) and prayed and prayed as he went around that track.  Only a few others there knew what he had been through, and they were praying too.  He was so far ahead, but I was not sure he could run the whole way.  I had seen what his body had gone through the night before and knew the effects of his medication were still in him.  But he ran the whole way, and he won.

You know sometimes we need to feel that "pat on the back" from God?  I got one that day.  And He has given me many others.  I just need to be "still" enough to feel them and recognize them.  

So I wanted to share.  And you know it is not about the running or the winning - but about the bigger plan and Who is in control.  Because you know there are many other days that do not have this ending - especially for Andrew.  God's timing is perfect.

Thanks to all of you who help us in so many ways!

National Day of Prayer

Tomorrow is the National Day of Prayer.  While I am so thankful we still have it in our country (and we certainly should!!!), I have read articles that make it seem like some people want "politically correct" prayers being prayed in Washington.  I don't know if it's true, but it caused my heart to hurt.

After all, we are praying to God.  He is the One we should be trying to please.  When we ask ourselves "What would Jesus do?", we should look in the Bible to see what Jesus would do.  If we are not sure, we should err on doing the best right thing we can after praying about it.  We should not look to ourselves for that answer, but to God.  When we look to ourselves, we find our own agendas, our pride, our flawed perspectives, etc.  When we look to God, things become clearer.  They won't always be totally clear here on this earth, but looking to God and asking what He would want us to do sure helps us make better decisions.

Making better decisions will not allow as much compromise.  Looking to God will keep us from voting for things that are clearly wrong in the Bible.

We should not confuse loving one another with loving and accepting all that people do.  If I hated sinners, I would have to hate myself first.  I sin.  I have to ask forgiveness.  I get up and keep trying.  I do this constantly.  But I know that justifying what I do (when I sin) by making other people accepting of it has nothing to do with right or wrong with God.  Sin is sin.  Wrong is wrong.  It does not matter who does it, who supports it, or who accepts it!  I must look to God.  He is the One I care about pleasing.  He is the One  Who sent His precious Son for me!  No one else did that .  No one else could do that!

Do I compromise?  I do all of the time.  I don't want to step on toes or hurt feelings.

Do I ride the fence?  I am sure I do more than I realize.

But I know what is clear to me.  I will not vote for abortion or those who wish to keep it legal.  I read an article today about a doctor on trial for late term abortions.  The babies would have lived if he had not killed them as they were born.  Have you ever seen a newborn baby?  Would you be outraged if you saw someone kill a newborn baby right in front of you?  Would it hurt?  Would it be awful?  Why is it okay to kill babies in a hospital or clinic?  Why?  Is our country that "off" that we just seem to accept it?  If someone has an abortion, are they happy they had one?  Do they live their lives in blissful peace?  If I did something and really did not realize the consequences, why would it haunt me afterwards?  Maybe because it was wrong?  And we have a loving and forgiving God.  But we must ask for forgiveness.  I am so thankful He wants us to ask, and He does forgive.

I am so disappointed our President and other leaders have come out supporting gay marriage.  I don't want a  President who does not seem to mind that he is supporting what the Bible says clearly is wrong.  I respect our President, but I won't vote for him.  I don't like him.  I wish his term was up.  Maybe some can overlook this because of the economy.  What is more important?  Looking to see if Jesus would support something like this or our economy.  Maybe our economy is a reflection of our country's direction.  And that direction scares me.

But then I remember Who is in control.  I remember to Whom I will answer and do answer to today.  I can call upon Him, and He is there.  None of the others are.  None of them can help me.  None of them died to give me eternal life.  But Jesus did.  And He will stand beside me on judgment day.  The least I can do is stand for Him while I am still here!

So tomorrow, I will pray for my country.  I will pray for the wavering hearts, the lazy hearts, the bad hearts, and all of the others.  I will pray for the ones who want us to look to God to stand strong and not be caught off course, derailed by the devil himself.  I will pray for myself - for guidance and wisdom and to know when to take a stand and when to not be silent.  I will pray to be brave and to sacrifice and be more willing to share what God has done and can do.  We all need to start looking up and stop being derailed.

Have you seen "The Passion of the Christ"?  How could you watch that movie as a believer and not feel what Jesus did for us?  And all we have to do is accept His gift of eternal life.  And if we accept it, we should want to stand for Him.

And do you know what happened to Mel Gibson after he spent so much time and money on that film?  I firmly, very firmly, believe that the devil was after him and caused him to fall and fail in so many ways.  I believe he was attacked, so he could not do more than he did to spread the good news.  I have prayed for Mel Gibson.  He may still be living a relatively normal life if he had not stepped out and given us this gift of a movie about our Lord.

It's okay not to be popular.  It's okay to feel lonely sometimes.  It is nothing compared to what Jesus felt on this earth.  It's okay to stand up.  But if I stand up in God's name, I had better be looking at Him and not my own agendas and pride.  That means being firm and unwavering, but it also means standing because the root of the stance is love.  I love my country.  I love the people who disagree with me.  (Although sometimes I don't like them.)

PRAY.  Pray to the One Who loves us the most.  He will give us the direction we need.