It is well...with my soul

We sang this song this morning during a great, moving church service after a very thought provoking Sunday School. We talked about worry in SS, and my hand was raised the highest to admit I do worry...too much. Even though I know I should not - that it does no good - I admit I still do it! I am one to have to really pay attention or I tend to worry about anything and everything.

My heart is burdened this week. I have let that be overwhelming which has caused more worry about silly things - but yet they affect my days and my effectiveness in those days!

I have set some goals to work towards NOT worrying about some things, and I have prayed to be closer and closer to God through prayer and His Word so I won't worry first, remember to trust next - or last!

We go Thursday back to Dr. Patel for Andrew's other lab results and probably a diagnosis. It's been a wait with ups and downs and me keeping a lot to myself. And when I have tried to talk, I have been shot down a little bit. So I shut down and kept to myself - except for the lucky couple of people who asked and got some answers and feelings. Many people have asked about Andrew, and they say they are praying for him. And that means the world to me. I remember my precious grandfather telling me he got down on his knees to pray for Andrew so much when Andrew was just little. (And then he would try to slide me a $100 bill when he hugged me and shook my hand!) He wanted to help and take it all away. He wanted to fix things all of the time and make them better. He wanted to lift the burden. And even though he was generous - even to a fault - his prayers were the best thing he ever did. And I know he knew that too - deep down.

I don't have a lot of specific information. I have read some and then I had to stop again. There are so many scary things out there on the internet! I am sure everyone knows that. I have found some things that will probably be helpful and make me more prepared, but I have found no answers to some very specific questions. And that is why I feel nervous and apprehensive. Whitney is going with us again, so that is a huge help. She has heard almost all that we have. And she knows how to reel me in when I start off on a bad tangent. So I look forward to the time with her - even if we are going to the doctor again! I really need some time with her to shop and eat lunch and NOT be going to a doctor! And that is another goal - to spend more time with my friends and family this year. I get so caught up in everything that I don't always make time for that.

This morning's service brought many tears, and the presence of Jesus was felt right in that sanctuary. The tears I cried were very good. They felt like the ones that wash over our very soul. And they bring renewal. And this is the week I needed to let go and feel that. I really did not have a choice. It happened and got hold of me, and it is very very real. And that peace that passes all understanding is really found when we look for it and ask for it when we seek Him in the midst of our storms.

I have learned that God is working even when we don't feel instantly better or feel good in a moment. He is working, and we need to let Him. I prayed this morning that He would take care of all of my worries and keep me close to Him and looking to Him no matter what - AND to have me do what I need to do no matter what.

Have a great week! I will post something after Thursday's appointment. Thanks so much for the prayers.