Happy 18th Birthday ~ Andrew!

Tomorrow Andrew will be 18! I cannot believe it and am thinking we must go get his license renewed as it expires tomorrow!

As I look back, I can go right to the hospital room in Abingdon where Andrew and I wore out several people trying to get him here! I remember looking around at one point and thinking that everyone helping me was as exhausted as I was! I won't forget Pete eating candy I did not like (so he told my doctor it did not bother me because I did not like it ~ even if I was starving!). And Whitney saying she was going to run and "get a drink...uh...I mean, go to the bathroom" because she knew I was so thirsty. I remember being promised pizza and 2 liter drinks by Gene Kistner ~ which by the way were long gone the next morning when Andrew finally arrived. I remember pretending I was running up hills and giving it all I had to get my baby safely in my arms!

The next morning when Andrew had arrived, pretty much everyone went home exhausted. And about that time, my grandparents (Nannie and Grandad) arrived. Grandad took Pete to breakfast (he was starved!), and Nannie offered to stay with me...until the nurses came to get me out of bed! Then I had them show her to a nice waiting area so she would not faint. She was not up to seeing me in any kind of pain! It was so sweet ~ that special time to share with them. And they were the only people who knew us within a few miles radius who had gotten a good night's sleep!

At the hospital, you stayed in a large room with a TV and all of the soft drinks you wanted before the baby came. When you really could not watch much TV nor could you drink. After the baby, they moved you across the floor to a wing with tiny rooms. A little old man came by with a clip board to see if we wanted to "rent" the TV for $5 a day. I asked Pete, "Please could we?" And he agreed! All drinks had to be paid for, and there was not much room in the new room for visitors! How funny it was!

I remember when the young pediatrician came in at 4:00 am the next morning and fumbled with the light above my bed to tell me my baby was having seizures and how slick it was outside with ice on the roads. How could I go back to sleep after that? I cried and called people to pray as soon as it was polite.

I was scared. I wanted them to take Andrew and fix him and hand him back. I remember that so vividly. I did not want to feed him or hold him too long. I was so scared of him! Then I remember leaving with the flowers and gifts. A woman said she saw all of the baby stuff but where was the baby? I broke down and cried. Pete and I celebrated Andrew's first Christmas with him still in the hospital.

On the way to see him one day during that week, I decided I was his mother; and God sent him to ME to care for. We learned the seizures were toes "twitching", so they did not seem so scary then. He had lots of medicine (that he took for six months) but no more seizures after the first ones. Andrew had a male nurse named Joe with a dyed black comb over and a comb always sticking out of his back pocket. Joe knew I was scared with Andrew and would hand me Andrew, a bottle, and then he would walk away. I called Joe a few times at 2:00 am when we returned home with Andrew, and he spit up his medicine in the middle of the night.

We returned home to a furnace that had backfired. It was a mess - soot everywhere. But we lived through that and got the rooms repainted and had enough left over to get a new floor in the kitchen and new counter tops. Our house was little, so it did not cost much. I liked having some new, clean things, but I was so thankful to have my baby home. He had a soft yellow room with a border with magician's hats and bunnies. He had sweet soft clothes that Whitney and Dede had washed while I was on bed rest. Of course they had been rewashed after the furnace incident!

Fast forward almost two years later, and here came Peter! Peter taught Andrew to crawl on the couch, but Andrew told me when Peter almost scooted out of his car seat on the floor while I spoke to a doctor on the phone. Peter was always in a hurry to get somewhere! And then almost two years later came Will who always liked to play with Peter or follow his daddy around. And then seven years after that came Sam! And Andrew says he cannot remember our family before Sam was born.

Andrew prepared me well as the first child. He was obedient and calm and quiet and sweet. He was loved by everyone. He took good care of his brothers and played with them and was content to be with his family. He usually had one or two friends, but he liked being at home - just as he does now. He sat still in church and did not make a peep.

Things started popping up when he was one, then two, and then at three seemed to take right off. It has been one hurdle after another. And sometimes we hurdle some things more than once. Andrew still handles things in his quiet way and is obedient and reminds me of that little baby I so fiercely determined to care for during his scary first week.

I have been working on a poem/song for a long long time. I will post it when I am done. I keep adding and changing. I am so thankful for my child. I have had a couple of times when I have been literally scared out of my mind that he would be gone. I have seen such scary things that I never would have thought I could handle. But I think it goes back to that first week when God told me I am the one who is his mother. And I don't need to get in his way, but I need to care for him the best way I can - with God's help. And I am thankful for a husband who understands that. We cry together and pray together and believe together. And though we are not always on the same page, we can respect where each is and still do what is best at the time.

I am sad to see Andrew's high school years come to an end this year. But Andrew is different. They have been hard at times, a struggle. These have been some of the scariest years - and knowing when to let him go and when to hold on tight. So for Andrew, I am excited to see what is to come. I have had two different people in two very different years tell me of boys who seemed to "outgrow" their seizures in their late teens. That gives me hope as I realize that my hope sometimes has an expiration date (dumb, but I did realize that with some things). And hope does not expire. I am thankful for the teachers, coaches, and friends he has had during this time. Some of them have known him since he was so little and cheer him on and pray for him constantly.

Happy Birthday to my super duper special boy! I thank God for the opportunity and privilege it is to be his mom!!!!!

And please join me in continuing to pray for him to be wholly and completely healed of known and unknown things. And for him to grow in the way the Lord has for him.

One more update to "Rough day"

Andrew has done okay this weekend. He has rested a lot ~ just what he needed. He studied a lot today for his exams and did okay with his infusion. He bled a lot, so the couch cushion cover is soaking! And it took way too long, but at least it's done for another week.

Sam is doing better, it seems. He has a new pen for his insulin and a new back-up ordered. He looks a little bit better colorwise.

Peter did some Christmas shopping over the weekend ~ I know because he was asking for wrapping materials. Will helped the neighbor put up Christmas lights and hunted and studied for his English EOC. We had a long discussion about apostrophes. It's a tough one, but he did get the correct form of pronouns. That is a great grammar ear! I could be a grammar teacher and would love to keep on learning it - there is so much I don't remember, but it's fun to me!

Pete's uncle died unexpectedly yesterday, so he will be going to the funeral on Tuesday in Charlotte. We are sad for the family, especially this time of year. And Pete's dad also lost his oldest sister to cancer earlier this year. We are praying for all of them. It will be a tough Christmas for all of them as they miss their loved ones.

Thanks for checking on Andrew!

Update to "Rough day"

We saw Dr. Adams a little bit ago, and he called in an antibiotic - the last one we used last time he was sick that seemed to work. Since antibiotics are way overused, we have to look for just the right one to help. Andrew has not overused them though! Because he heard some crackling sounds in Andrew's lungs, we are being safe with him.

He is resting right now. He was able to eat a good lunch. And we are making him drink a lot of Gatorade (per someone else's shared wisdom). Hopefully, this will be a fast recovery. He has a lot to do this week and a birthday to celebrate!

Sam is doing okay. He has a bad batch of test strips, so we have had to prick his poor little fingers way more than we should. He is resting too. Last night he was good to check on Andrew and cover him up on the couch.

Thanks for all of the prayers! We need them!

Rough Day

Please pray for Andrew. He had a rough afternoon and ended up not making it to Liberty University to the meet he has really looked forward to running in this weekend. He is home now - I picked him up in Wilkesboro. The team turned around and ate at the new Chick-fil-A so he could rest and wait for me.

Thanks. I just talked to Sam's doctor's office in Charlotte and changed some of his stuff yet again. He just does not feel or look good a lot. So I thought we would be on a better track this weekend. This all came out of the blue with Andrew. I saw him after school to get his computer, and I remember thinking how good he looked today. And I know he is so disappointed. I know I am.

I had my little fit and cried "It's not fair" many times before calming down on my drive there. I thought I was "running on empty" earlier this week, so I am not sure what I am running on now. I am trying to keep looking up. I know I will. It's just hard to keep getting off track - in so many ways. I have really been encouraged by Casting Crowns' new CD "Come to the Well" - it talks about running on empty and coming to the well where He has already done all of the work and paid the price for us. I will write more on my blog this weekend - www.sixvandenbergs.blogspot.com so I won't clog up so many email accounts. I was going to write some funny stories of Christmases past. Maybe I will do that still.

Thanks for praying.


The Well (Casting Crowns)


Leave it all behind,
Leave it all behind,
Leave it all behind,
Leave it all behind,
I have what you need,
But you keep on searchin,
I've done all the work,
But you keep on workin,
When you're runnin on empty,
And you can't find the remedy,
Just come to the well.

You can spend your whole life,
Chasin what's missing,
But that empty inside,
It just ain't gonna listen.
When nothing can satisfy,
And the world leaves you high and dry,
Just come to the well

[CHORUS:]
And all who thirst will thirst no more,
And all who search will find what their souls long for,
The world will try, but it can never fill,
So leave it all behind, and come to the well

So bring me your heart
No matter how broken,
Just come as you are,
When your last prayer is spoken,
Just rest in my arms a while,
You'll feel the change my child,
When you come to the well

[CHORUS:]
And all who thirst will thirst no more,
And all who search will find what their souls long for,
The world will try, but it can never fill,
So leave it all behind, and come to the well
Yeah
Leave it all behind
The world will try, but it can never fill... leave it all behind

And now that you're full,
Of love beyond measure,
Your joy's gonna flow,
Like a stream in the desert,
Soon all the world will see that living water is found in me,
Cause you came to the well

[CHORUS:]
And all who thirst will thirst no more,
And all who search will find what their souls long for,
The world will try, but it can never fill,
So leave it all behind, and come to the well

Merry Christmas 2011!

It's hard to believe it's almost Christmas time again! The year just flew by!

We have so much for which to be thankful. And that is my thing to remember - counting my blessings. The same day my friend Paula reminded me of this recently, I also read about it in one of my devotionals. So no matter what comes, I can still see the blessings around me. When things tip over or tilt or seem scary or frustrating, I am still blessed. When I look at certain people, my life seems so hard. But when I look at others, my life does not seem quite so tough. I know God wants me to look at where I am and appreciate where I am and do my best where I am. So many things creep in and bother me and keep me from being what God wants me to be where I am. So I am trying not to let them creep in!

It's hard to believe Andrew is a senior this year! Andrew was diagnosed with a severe immune system deficiency in the spring. A pulmonologist asked to see his medical records last year and referred us to a new immunologist in Charlotte. That doctor saw Andrew in February and ran some tests. The test results were "alarming" he said. Andrew's labs were rerun a week later and came back the same. The doctor said that he has never seen someone up walking around with those numbers. Not only was Andrew up walking around, but he was going to school and running! We went to the children's hospital in Charlotte for his first IVIG treatment. Then we had a home health nurse to come and show us how to do the infusions at home once a week so we would not have to go monthly to get them - so he would not miss school. He has recently taken over the treatments that neither of us thought we would ever be able to do! The plan is to keep a check on his numbers which are hovering right near the normal range and try to go without the replacement in a year or two. We pray that this is the case. They want to diagnose him with CVID, but they cannot because he keeps not following the norm - which in this case is a huge blessing! He still fights some other issues, but he has done better. We just pray for the IVIG to be temporary and for him to grow! I think the growing would show that he is overcoming all his body has to fight and fight for.

Sam is doing well with his diabetes. He is sometimes up and down and, literally, all around. But he is cooperative, and we just keep trying. He has excellent care at school, and the boys still do a lot for him. It is tough and never ending, but he is accepting of it. He has some other issues that have not been defined, but we trust that they will go away after a while and not cause him any problems. He is growing and loves to watch his brothers run. He ran his first cross country race and won a medal in his age group! Will ran with him, and he loved it and kept asking when his next race would be. I am thankful he is healthy and can run!

Will is a freshman this year and was our third boy on the cross country team! He ran well and did well giving up his afternoons every day to practice. He still enjoys many things ~ hunting, working, biking, running, playing with Sam, visiting, and many others.

Peter is a junior and ran too, of course. He had some really good races, but I know he has some great ones in there still! He helps me a lot, but he also loves to spend time with his friends. He is very anxious to get his license soon!

We appreciate all of those who pray for our family and encourage us in so many different ways. We are truly blessed. Thanks! And Merry Christmas!

May the One whose birth we celebrate bring you the peace that only He can bring ~ from the sacrifices He made for each one of us! We pray that those who have not accepted His free (to us) gift of salvation will see clearly that they need it this season and will happily accept it!

Weekend Getaway!

We just got back (this evening) from a weekend getaway. Get away from what? Well, lots of things. The every day routine, the on and on responsibilities, the hurt feelings, the overwhelming things of every day life and life, the insurance company, the feelings of hopelessness, the weight of the world, the weariness that has set in...

But I did not want to just get away from my family! They were probably happy for a little break though!

I started off on Friday afternoon right after lunch. I borrowed Andrew's truck so I could leave my van at home and took off with my bag of weekend clothes and anticipation for a fun weekend. It was fun...but so much more.

On the winding road to Damascus, I listened to some Christmas music and then to Casting Crowns' new CD ~ Come to the Well. Well, that did me in. I heard the words of one song and just crumpled and cried off my little bit of make up! The song talked about all God has done for us, but we just keep on and on trying to do it ourselves. We can come to the well and get our thirst quenched, fill that empty spot, and be ready to be a spring in the desert. When he gave the analogy of a child needing rest, I realized that that is me! I know I am a child of God. I just have not been acting like one! I try to go it alone. I try to be brave and figure out and fix and be ahead and...I am so worn out. It was such a relief and such a weight off my shoulders. I felt tired but renewed. Exhausted but rejuvenated. I felt hopeful. I resolved to remember the feeling!

After leaving Bristol, we drove straight to Susan's new place on the river near Cookeville. It was beautiful - set out in the dark night, a light shining to welcome us. It's a resort. A retreat. A place where one could really talk to God without many distractions. Lisa worried about coyotes and Big Foot and whatever else comes out of the woods after dark, but I knew deep down she could feel the special atmosphere too. She did make me sleep closest to the door! (Because she knew I did not mind!).

After a great night's sleep - even after a "sound" woke up everyone but me, we had eggs, bacon, and toast in the picnic shelter that attaches the "place" to a massive stone fireplace. We had a fire to knock off the chill and enjoyed eating outside bundled in our pj's! It was so peaceful and restful, and we talked and laughed and caught up. We walked to the pump house and saw the pond and spring house. I kept sending pictures (until Russell politely requested no more since he has no texting in his plan - he needs to change that!).

Skipping the outdoor shower, we got ready in two bathrooms with stone and tile and authentic stone sinks with a faucet that looked like a pump off of Little House. Then we headed out for some fun. We went to the outlets in Lebanon looking for specific things on our list. I was so determined to find mine that I forgot to look at Stride Rite (if they had one!) for Sam's shoes! But I did find things I needed to make every day a little easier, and the other girls found some good and some spectacular deals. We left there and went on to Mt. Juliet when we ate at Chick-fil-A (a new favorite of Susan who heard about it from guess who ~ of course, Whitney). Then we shopped a little more and met up with a friend.

Then we took off for another adventure in Normandy. We went to Susan's friend's cafe where a live band was going to play. We ate there and met the very special owner who needs lots of special prayer this Tuesday as she gets some test results back. In the short time we were there, we knew we had met someone very unique and extra special. It was fun to sit at our table by the door and people watch before and during the show. If we were budding country music artists, we would have been pleased to know who was in the building with us, I am sure!

We drove back to the river and slept a good night again. Another breakfast outside watching the sun light dance off the swift river was restful. Bacon and eggs taste even better eaten outside! We got to spend a little more time with Susan and then drove pretty much straight home and back to our lives. But hopefully not back to those things mentioned in the first paragraph!

Sometimes we just need to change our scenery a little bit. We need to be able to look past what is right in front of us all of the time. We need to sometimes GET past those things. When I am tired, I hold on to more things that beat me down. I let my feelings get hurt easily. I worry more about things of concern...and every other thing. I don't make the best choices sometimes ~ not bad ones but ones that don't help me along on bad days.

Sometimes I feel like the storm has gone on for years. I feel like somewhere along the way I stopped waiting for it to pass and just braced myself to hold on and hold up during the storm. Since it never went away, I never moved on. I am going to try to move on - even in the storm. Reverend Thrasher sent me the message about being able to dance in the rain. Live in the storm. Keep going. Serve while waiting. Wait patiently on the Lord. He is my Father. He loves me in a way that cannot really be imagined. He gave His own Son for ME! He does care about my worries and struggles and wants to take the burden. All He asks is that I give it to Him. I am trying. I will try harder.

I am so blessed to have had such a weekend. I am so tired. I have so much to do this week. But I am going in with a new attitude.