The end of me ~ a great place to be?

Greg Laurie talked to me the other morning on the way to Charlotte as Sam happily watched a new movie in the seat behind me.  I tried not to cry off all of my make-up, but I knew he was talking to me.  His message was "The Perfect Storm", and he referred to a lot of what I already knew - and what Toby talked about in one of his sermons not long ago.  We are in a storm, coming out of one, or starting to go into another.  We are in one of those places.  There are storms in life.  Then he kept on going.  I think he was on the Sea of Galilee when doing this message.  He talked about how quickly a storm can whip up there.  Pete had told me that in the spring when he went - how quickly the calm waters can start churning and become scary.

As he kept talking, he was assuring me that Jesus is right with me - all of the time, even during the storm.  He caught my attention when he said at the end of me is not a bad place to be.  He said, "When you tell God you cannot get through this without Him, that's not a bad thing."  That's not a direct quote but pretty close.  He said when we are at the end of ourselves, we have to look to Him.  Fortunately, He is patient as we go through all of our resources and reserves first.  I know I do.  He also said that Jesus will come through for us when we need Him with what we need.  He said it may seem last minute, but it will be when we need it.  It's not really last minute.  I just need to trust more that He will come through.  He won't leave me hanging.

So this week when the overwhelming things have come, I did not do so well at first.  I got my feelings hurt.  I cried when I got a letter from someone I expressed concern to who blamed me and discounted my concern until it really hurt.  I let things bother me that should not have.  I lost focus.  I did not read my devotional for a couple of days and really really needed it. 

Sometimes I work better in distress - bad distress or in crisis mode.  When things calm down, I sometimes fall apart.  It does not make sense except in crisis mode I don't have time to notice the little things that may bother me on a normal day.  I would not notice feeling left out - I would not care!  I would not notice the jab - I would not hear it!  I would not worry about the person not doing his or her job - I would just make sure I did what I should!  I would not let those things bother me!  They would not have a place.

I guess when I take my eyes off of Him, like Peter did while walking on water, I see too many things that distract me from what I should be doing or what I should be focused on.  Well, guess nothing.  I know I do.

I am thankful for Greg Laurie's ministry.  I am thankful that he was on the radio while I was going up I-85.  I know it was not a coincidence that that message was on at that time.  I heard it.  I heard God speaking to me.  I am trying to be a better listener!

I have given over Andrew's pulled muscle and my concerns over his health.  And this week we did get some good labs on him. 

I have given over Peter's tendonitis right in the middle of his senior year of cross country.  And he is taking care of it and has talked to a couple of coaches this week.  And I am trying not to look ahead too much to June!

I am giving over Will's difficulties that he is having right now.  God knows what they are.  He is a good boy, and he can get through this. 

I am giving over Sam's difficulties in school and being thankful for better blood sugar numbers this week. 

I am giving over my anxiety that tries to creep through every once in a while as Pete plans another overseas trip soon.

I keep giving and giving and trying not to forget Who loves them most.  Who also loves ME most.

I am thankful He takes the time to remind me in a Joni devotional or a radio broadcast or in a song or in a verse that hits home.  I am so thankful He loves me.  Oh how He loves me.