More cheers, more tears

Well, I guess maybe I should not plan on getting to a cross country meet without crying this season! Sam and I were on our way this morning - everyone else took different vehicles - and it hit me again.  I think today it was because I am tired from Thursday night.  I thought I would be up checking on Sam whose blood sugar was a little off earlier in the afternoon.  But I slept on the couch after an eventful night with Andrew at the doctor's office.  He had spiked a 103 fever suddenly and probably has a touch of pneumonia (which, don't think I won't ponder on why he has that later) and then he had a seizure in the office.  He had me, Dr. Zimmerman, and two precious nurses to help him; and it was still hard.  But I slept okay and kept going the next day - to work and to take Andrew to what he had to do Friday.  I think once I am still for a little while things hit me - the scary things and frustrating things.

I was also worried about Peter.  I kept handing him over to God and taking him back like I know I am not supposed to do!  He has tried to be easy on his leg, and I know he has a lot going on.  So we had prayed this morning before we all left, and I felt better.  But then on the way there...

But fortunately, I work with a lot of great people at the meets.  I learned of a terrible illness in one family and resolved to pray diligently for them.  I saw people who asked about Andrew.  I saw people who had their own tough times with their children too.  We are all in this together, so it's best to encourage and pray.

And I think I felt knocked down some this week.  Don't ask me why I let some silly stuff get to me.  But sometimes it does.  People can be so mean for no reason.  But I don't have to let them bother me.  Sometimes I do though.  I felt mean Thursday night.  I ran into Walmart to get Andrew a couple of things and some girls were being silly and getting in the carts - which is probably one reason the carts don't work well sometimes.  They were totally oblivious to anyone else needing a cart and needing to hurry!  Even though they did get on my nerves I was not mean.  So I told God I was sorry for my attitude - I was tired and worried and in a hurry.  But still...I should not be mean or feel like being mean.  And for those who are mean, I will try harder to not let them win. 

We have homecoming at church tomorrow.  Then Andrew and I are going to a music performance for one of his classes.  I have spent a little time on the Appalachian campus the last couple of days with him.  I am so thankful he is here, and I can be here to spend that time with him.  Maybe we will get to go to a play soon!  I am not overly worried, but I always liked to go for my classes; so I will just go with him!

Today I thought how fortunate I am to live in such a beautiful place and how fortunate I am to enjoy this time with my family.  Will won the JV race today, and it was so fun to watch him run that fast.  I was not expecting that, and I hope it was a boost for him.  He is rearranging his room right now.  Such a funny boy sometimes.  His room is huge - actually like two rooms together, so he has a lot of ways to arrange it!  It needs to be painted, so that will be a huge undertaking; but he knows how to paint and wants to do it too!  One more thing on my list for him to help me do!

I know one thing for sure.  I need to keep my eyes on Him.  When I don't, I get into trouble immediately.  I will keep working on that!!!!

I Look To You (Selah)

 
As I lay me down,
Heaven hear me now.
I'm lost without a cause
After giving it my all.

Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun.
After all that I've been through
Who on earth can I turn to?

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.

About to lose my breathe,
There's no more fighting left,
Sinking to rise no more,
Searching for that open door.

And every road that I've taken
Lead to my regret.
And I don't know if I'm going to make it.
Nothing to do but lift my head

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.

My levees are broken
My walls have come
Tumbling down on me

The rain is falling.
Defeat is calling.
I need you to set me free.

Take me far away from the battle.
I need you.
Shine on me.

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.