Do I Encourage or Discourage?

In recent weeks, I have been so tired.  When I am tired, I am much more sensitive.  My dear husband always (lovingly) reminds me that I say and do things that probably are not taken the way I intended them to be taken.  He reminds me that I must give others the benefit of the doubt.  And when he cannot deny there was some jabbing or mean stuff going on, he reminds me to be thankful for my many blessings and not let it bother me like it does!  So sometimes I have to call someone else (if I dare!) and try to get them to sympathize with me.  Sometimes I just want someone to say, "I cannot believe he/she said that to you!!!"  But I realize that the best way is to let it sting and then let it go.  I am working on that.  I have had to work on it a lot lately it seems!  Maybe it's me.  But it has also made me think on whether I am encouraging or discouraging.  Am I building up or tearing down?

When I was younger, I felt as if some people were the "haves" and we were the "have nots".  That did not bother me most of the time, but sometimes it hurt when certain things were pointed out to me - a lot.  So sometimes I tried to make sure that the other people knew I was not bothered by their attempts to bother me.  I think maybe sometimes I came across as a little bit discouraging myself.  I did not mean to be.  I just wanted to make the point that what was really bothering me did not.  Silly, I know.  Silly to spend time even thinking about it.  But I did.  I felt knocked down and did not want the other people to know.  I had so many people encouraging me, but the discouraging hurt; and I fought back a little bit.  I am sorry for that now.  I am sorry I was so sensitive, and I am sorry if I discouraged anyone while trying to let them know they had not discouraged me!

These days, I am most of the time different.  Things that bothered me then don't bother me now.  But things that do seem to bother me most concern my children.  I appreciate help in helping my children, but I don't need competition or discouragement.  They don't either!

So in dealing with my children, I have learned where not to tread - sometimes.  I keep a close circle of people I can trust to ask opinions or advice or for their prayers or wisdom.  God has certainly blessed me with some people who are always there with encouragement no matter what.  And I try not to talk to too many people.  As children get older, they don't want everyone to know everything about them anyway.

But lately, it's been me who feels discouraged.  I sometimes have a feeling about things, and sometimes those feelings are confirmed.  It's hard when it seems clear that someone is trying to discourage.  I am not sure why anyone would think I would need discouragement!  But it can happen in different forms - mean joking, jabs, being left out, being made fun of, not keeping a word, etc.  Sometimes we imagine it's happening, but sometimes it really is.

So there is my husband again asking why I pay any attention when I have so many blessings.  He is right.  And he is right in reminding me that even though I try to be very careful (especially in some areas) that I hurt people's feelings too without meaning to or knowing it.  So I ask myself if I am encouraging or discouraging.  I will try harder to encourage and pay more attention to things that may discourage.

Just some stuff for me to think about...