Thankful

This is Thanksgiving week.  The week to be thankful.  The week to remember to be thankful!  Happy Thanksgiving! 

I think it's a great time to look back over the year and see where I have been and all God has brought me through.  It's the same this year.  Some of the stuff is hard - but it's old news.  It's a pain, but it keeps on coming.  Like a storm that won't go away.  Then there is new stuff.  New twists and turns.  New and unexpected things.  Not all welcome things. 

I think what God has been teaching me in the past few months is that it is okay to be where I am.  I am still in that waiting room.  Still in a storm.  The storm gets more fierce but then dies down again.  Sometimes it rages to a point when I don't think I can take much more, and then it gets worse; and I see I can, with Help. 

Another thing God has been teaching me is that I don't have to despair in the place I am.  It can change.  Like we say about Boone weather - give it a minute, and it will change.  Whether I am in the place for a few minutes, hours, months, or years, it can change in an instant.  I have a friend who has been "stuck" somewhere for years now.  She gets tired and sad, but she has been there with grace; and it speaks volumes to me.  She is a blessing while just trying to do as God wants her to be.

I had the opportunity to go on a retreat this weekend.  It was eye-opening. On the way there, I was hoping that the speaker would talk on certain things where I have some struggles right this minute.  Well, she did.  She did NOT talk on the subject I had hoped, but she DID talk about what I really needed.  God knew what I needed to hear.  He knew what would ring true in my ears.  He knew what would open my eyes.  And He knew what would remind me to look at him and stop looking in other places.  When will I remember that?

As we head into this week, I will be remembering (with a ton of others) my first niece.  She would be 21 this year.  I cannot help but wonder what she would look like, who she would act like, where she would be in college, etc.  For years, I thought of her as a tiny baby.  I still do, but I can see her as older now.  I don't know what she will look like in Heaven, but I am sure I will know her.  I am thankful for the little bit of time we had with her.  I am thankful for the things she taught me.  I am even thankful for the tears dripping down right now as I remember how empty our arms felt 21 years ago.  And I am thankful that God filled those arms time and time again.  She was not replaced, but we were blessed.  And she is not gone forever - just in a blink.  Though it seems longer right now, it will one day be a blink.  And I am thankful for her parents who have always set such an example for me.

I am thankful my children are all safely tucked in their beds.  I am thankful that they had a normal weekend.  I am thankful that the noise I heard the other night was the wind and not Andrew. 

I have so many things I worry about and try not to worry about.  I have reason to be concerned and on guard, but the worrying almost does me in sometimes.  I am thankful that when I cry out to Him, He hears me and sends what I need. 

Nichole Nordeman has a line in her song "Sunrise" that says, "How would I know morning if I knew not midnight?"  I appreciate the provisions made for me and my family this year (and all of the other years too!).  I am thankful for the One Who loves me like no other.  He knows me by name.  He died for me.

Happy Thanksgiving!