Why Does THAT Bother Me So?

I read somewhere once that it takes at least 13 positive things to even out one negative.  I think maybe it may be more than 13!

I have been so happy and thankful all weekend for a huge praise.  Will got his diploma.  He did not walk at graduation, but he finished.  I was doubtful at this time last year.  And though I am happy to have that checked off, I am looking at a clear answer to many prayers prayed by people who care about him.

But...as wonderful as that is.  I was knocked down last night and am still struggling with the situation.  I have (wrongly) thought it was my best bet to withdraw when others were ugly to me.  I have thought if I just keep to myself that I can protect myself from mean things.  But then a part of me wants them to know they did not bother me - showing them that they really did!

So, after such an ugly thing, I told Pete I would just withdraw and not put myself in that position.  And he told me that would not show the love of Christ.  He told me I should love with the love of Christ.  Not kill with kindness.  He said that is revenge.  He said to be aware and wait patiently for a chance to be kind or show the love of Jesus.  I sighed and told him that I would probably be waiting a long time for a chance - some people seem so self-sufficient and would not want help from someone like me anyway.

And he told me that I was wrong.  And I am.  It's more hurtful to be treated so by Christians.  So what do I do?

I show the love of Christ.  I stop the hurt already eating me up inside.  I don't nurture the "I'll show them" attitude that is trying to form.

I will try (and try and try) to put myself and my hurt aside and make it about Jesus.  I will not let it get the best of me.  And I will pray that I will be a wonderful example of Christ's love even when I feel so unloved by what happened.

I think that is what I have been trying to learn more and more.  It's not about me.  ME.  me.  It's about Him.

How would He want me to react?  I am trying to remember to keep my focus on Him.  He loves me best.  He knows me best and still loves me.  He offers grace and mercy.  I need to do the same.