National Day of Prayer

Tomorrow is the National Day of Prayer.  While I am so thankful we still have it in our country (and we certainly should!!!), I have read articles that make it seem like some people want "politically correct" prayers being prayed in Washington.  I don't know if it's true, but it caused my heart to hurt.

After all, we are praying to God.  He is the One we should be trying to please.  When we ask ourselves "What would Jesus do?", we should look in the Bible to see what Jesus would do.  If we are not sure, we should err on doing the best right thing we can after praying about it.  We should not look to ourselves for that answer, but to God.  When we look to ourselves, we find our own agendas, our pride, our flawed perspectives, etc.  When we look to God, things become clearer.  They won't always be totally clear here on this earth, but looking to God and asking what He would want us to do sure helps us make better decisions.

Making better decisions will not allow as much compromise.  Looking to God will keep us from voting for things that are clearly wrong in the Bible.

We should not confuse loving one another with loving and accepting all that people do.  If I hated sinners, I would have to hate myself first.  I sin.  I have to ask forgiveness.  I get up and keep trying.  I do this constantly.  But I know that justifying what I do (when I sin) by making other people accepting of it has nothing to do with right or wrong with God.  Sin is sin.  Wrong is wrong.  It does not matter who does it, who supports it, or who accepts it!  I must look to God.  He is the One I care about pleasing.  He is the One  Who sent His precious Son for me!  No one else did that .  No one else could do that!

Do I compromise?  I do all of the time.  I don't want to step on toes or hurt feelings.

Do I ride the fence?  I am sure I do more than I realize.

But I know what is clear to me.  I will not vote for abortion or those who wish to keep it legal.  I read an article today about a doctor on trial for late term abortions.  The babies would have lived if he had not killed them as they were born.  Have you ever seen a newborn baby?  Would you be outraged if you saw someone kill a newborn baby right in front of you?  Would it hurt?  Would it be awful?  Why is it okay to kill babies in a hospital or clinic?  Why?  Is our country that "off" that we just seem to accept it?  If someone has an abortion, are they happy they had one?  Do they live their lives in blissful peace?  If I did something and really did not realize the consequences, why would it haunt me afterwards?  Maybe because it was wrong?  And we have a loving and forgiving God.  But we must ask for forgiveness.  I am so thankful He wants us to ask, and He does forgive.

I am so disappointed our President and other leaders have come out supporting gay marriage.  I don't want a  President who does not seem to mind that he is supporting what the Bible says clearly is wrong.  I respect our President, but I won't vote for him.  I don't like him.  I wish his term was up.  Maybe some can overlook this because of the economy.  What is more important?  Looking to see if Jesus would support something like this or our economy.  Maybe our economy is a reflection of our country's direction.  And that direction scares me.

But then I remember Who is in control.  I remember to Whom I will answer and do answer to today.  I can call upon Him, and He is there.  None of the others are.  None of them can help me.  None of them died to give me eternal life.  But Jesus did.  And He will stand beside me on judgment day.  The least I can do is stand for Him while I am still here!

So tomorrow, I will pray for my country.  I will pray for the wavering hearts, the lazy hearts, the bad hearts, and all of the others.  I will pray for the ones who want us to look to God to stand strong and not be caught off course, derailed by the devil himself.  I will pray for myself - for guidance and wisdom and to know when to take a stand and when to not be silent.  I will pray to be brave and to sacrifice and be more willing to share what God has done and can do.  We all need to start looking up and stop being derailed.

Have you seen "The Passion of the Christ"?  How could you watch that movie as a believer and not feel what Jesus did for us?  And all we have to do is accept His gift of eternal life.  And if we accept it, we should want to stand for Him.

And do you know what happened to Mel Gibson after he spent so much time and money on that film?  I firmly, very firmly, believe that the devil was after him and caused him to fall and fail in so many ways.  I believe he was attacked, so he could not do more than he did to spread the good news.  I have prayed for Mel Gibson.  He may still be living a relatively normal life if he had not stepped out and given us this gift of a movie about our Lord.

It's okay not to be popular.  It's okay to feel lonely sometimes.  It is nothing compared to what Jesus felt on this earth.  It's okay to stand up.  But if I stand up in God's name, I had better be looking at Him and not my own agendas and pride.  That means being firm and unwavering, but it also means standing because the root of the stance is love.  I love my country.  I love the people who disagree with me.  (Although sometimes I don't like them.)

PRAY.  Pray to the One Who loves us the most.  He will give us the direction we need.

A Quick Update!

Sam's appointment in Charlotte went much better than I had expected yesterday. His a1c was down almost a whole point and in a much better range. I told Dr. Parker it's hard to work so hard for a "C". He told me yesterday was an A+. But I told him we do the same stuff and never know what the number will be. So we talked about what to do, and we do those things. So he really encouraged me and said some things that others have told me - so maybe it will stick better! (Some of you know I was really anxious and discouraged about all of the diabetes stuff!)


We got to shop for some stuff we needed to find, and that was fun. We did not do much, but Sam says Pottery Barn Kids is his favorite store! He looked at Lego books while I looked in the store! One of the girls helped me with a purchase, and she also showed me how to make a bed the way they make them in the store. I just always want to crawl right in one because they look so comfortable!

So Sam is squared away with his numbers for the time being. We will get his new lenses for his glasses today - not as strong and thinner. He was sick off and on all last week with something that made his side hurt and made him run a fever one day. So he missed more school which is not a good thing for him. But we worked and worked at home, and he finally has mastered something he has worked on for months.

Andrew is still coughing a little bit. He had two antibiotics three weeks ago together, and they stopped working. So we called his pulmonologist, and the doctors started him on another, stronger antibiotic. This one can make you tear or pull something easily, so he has taken off two weeks from running. He is almost done with it, so the cough bothers me a lot - even though it's little compared to what it was.

The good thing is that his thyroid labs are finally normal. His new seizure drug is almost in a good range, so hopefully he can start cutting the other. His liver labs were good, but they need to stay where they are and not go up. I try not to think about that too much. He is usually in a great mood and is almost finished with his freshman year at Appalachian!!!! He loves most of his classes and has worked very hard. I cannot say enough about how Appalachian has worked with him and for him. It has been the best place for him - and so many different people have been a great part of that.

Peter goes back to the foot doctor at the end of May, and we are hoping he will get out of that brace sooner than later. He was interviewed for the radio last week. Since he is going to Appalachian, he answered questions about his dad, mentioned his aunt, and talked about Andrew. I am excited to hear it. He is thankful to have a place to start running again, and Sam and I have started college shopping for him.

Will is doing better in some places where he has struggled this year. He continues to be a big help to me, and I continue to try to keep up with him and help him keep his commitments and responsibilities (as opposed to just being frustrated with him all of the time). He has had a taste of success, and I think he likes it!

Pete just got back from Israel last Thursday. He had a great trip, but he was ready to get home. We missed him more this time, I think. I know I had a harder time with him gone. We are thankful he was a huge help on his trip and that he was safe and got home when he was supposed to!

Thanks for praying and asking about the boys. They really helped me a lot while he was gone - without me having to ask. Doing Pete's cleaning jobs and taking the trash to the dump were the hardest "extra" tasks to have in an already busy week. But they took turns helping and taking care of Sam. I am so thankful for them.

Have a great week! Thanks again for praying!

Gone again!

We dropped Pete off at the airport yesterday...again.  Here is his itinerary for anyone who wants to follow along!  http://www.templetontours.com/holyland/30401.pdf

I felt a little more clingy yesterday and told him that I would be sad - but we were happy for him to go!  It's hard the first bit, knowing he is gone for that long.  But some people are gone a lot longer.

Sam was a little clingy too.  He ate his lunch with one hand on his daddy's leg.

We always get rushed right before we drop him off - and he was on the phone with a potential problem; so we did not talk much in the 10 minutes before (I hope the late person was okay and got to her airport in time!).  So all of the sudden, he was gone!

Sam went to sleep, and I made a decision to drive a little extra and treat myself to a trip to the Pottery Barn Outlet.  Sam and I had fun looking, but we only went in a few more stores because of shopper's boredom (his) and rising irritation (mine!).  But instead of getting frustrated, we just came on home since we found some great bargains at one of my favorite stores - things actually on our home list!

We stopped at Krispy Kreme, and it is hard to believe a dozen doughnuts can disappear so fast!  It's just a good thing we don't have one in Boone!  A really good thing.

Today was hard.  I woke up tired, and it went downhill from there.  The highlight of my day was talking to my grandmother who has hip surgery tomorrow.  She turned 88 last week, and she has not been able to do much for months due to arthritis pain.  So I told her we would jog around the block soon.  We laughed and laughed - our favorite thing to do on the phone.  I remember once she called and said my life sounded like "Little House on the Prairie," because I had a pipe burst, a furnace problem, and a few other things at once while Pete was out of town.  When Andrew got sick, I called her and told her I had turned into "Marcus Welby, MD."  It made things seem not so heavy when we laughed.

Anyway, I knew the devil was after me today.  He would not let up.  He hurt my feelings and jabbed me at every point and in every chance. Once I realized what was going on, I prayed harder.  My boys have worked hard to get stuff done today to help me, and it makes a difference to look that way instead of the way I was looking - down and out and feeling sorry for myself.

Andrew had some labs and will have more this week.  He has some odd things that may be fine.  He has slightly elevated liver labs, but they are still in the normal range.  I hoped my AST and ALT watching was over, but here we are again.  We are trusting for good, low numbers so he can continue to take his seizure meds.  AND we have to get his cough under control.  It's no better with two antibiotics, so there was a call into another doctor when I left today.  I guess feeling overwhelmed is something I do more than I think.  But I am praying it is all good and will all be fine.  Andrew certainly is not worrying today!  He is just out there doing what he should.

Thanks again for all of the prayers.  We appreciate them so much!

Prayers

Andrew has another week and a half before we get his labs. We will be checking his medication dose to see if he can start going off another medication. And, we will be checking his liver levels. He will also have his thyroid checked to see if he is finally on the right dose - after months of being off. Please pray that all is well and that this new plan will help him. The medication he is taking now was stopped in the 6th grade when he developed undetermined liver disease. If it was auto-immune hepatitis, it disappeared and never came back. Sometimes not knowing something can be a blessing, but I am praying hard that his seizure meds were not the cause after all. And if three doctors have agreed (one is the gastroenterologist) that it's okay to try them again, then that in itself is positive (and really unheard of) to me. I know God worked all of that out.


In my April 4th entry in my Beth Moore devotional (tomorrow is Grandmother's 88th birthday!), I highlighted what she said. "Faith is God's invitation to make the impossible possible. He is glorified when we are enabled to do what we're unable to do." I know that I do not know enough to take care of Andrew (I am unable) - yet God has sent us to some wonderful places with help. And we have had to leave seemingly good places that did not help him and find others. He has worked all of this out. I "ran" the disease category on Jeopardy last night. I only missed one question but actually had the correct word in my answer. I am not a medical person, so knowing Andrew has gone to places with such wonderful doctors is totally God's thing. And it is easier to look back now and see it. And I cannot ever forget that He will not stop now - even if things get muddled and confusing again. He is in control.

And talking about being unable. Pete and I can both say that we never saw leaving the hospital with Sam. I remember him calling me to tell me he had given him a shot for the first time. I asked him how it was. One of my dear friends stopped by to check on Sam when I had to check his blood sugar for the first time. Sam and I both cried, and she cried with us. But it all got better, and we got to take him home in record time. And most newly diagnosed diabetics that sick are shipped to Charlotte or Baptist, but we were able to stay here and got the best education we could in the time we were at Watauga. God had just the right nurses, from the ultra conservative in ICU to the funny male nurse in pediatrics, to help us on the start of that journey. Now all of the boys check Sam and figure up and give him shots. While I need more back up people than just Laura and my sister, I am grateful for the people at school who take care of him when he is there. They were willing to learn and do. One woman said she just worried that when Sam left HP that he would remember her as the person who always gave him shots in his bottom. I told her not to worry - we all have to do that! He would remember her as one of his helpers.

Peter just decided on a school! It's great to be a Mountaineer! He is going to walk on at Appalachian since he cannot run until probably July. He is excited, and we are so excited for him!

Will is Will and is going through a little rough patch in one area right now. While he is too old for me to share details, he could use prayer in getting some stuff straightened out. He is such a good boy and has so many gifts. We all get off track sometimes and seem to struggle instead of to thrive in certain areas. But I am thankful that in the ones that count the most that he is great. He is very thoughtful and helpful at critical times. I am praying to get some things worked out for him that will make his life better.

Pete leaves next week for another 10 day trip. I am excited for him and dreading it a little for me! That is a long time for him to be gone! But we have done it before, and everything has worked out. I thought I would worry about him being in danger while he was gone, but really I never had time to go beyond the first thoughts. And when we did have the chopping the thumb incident and the seizure, we had people to step up and help.

Thanks for all of your prayers. Thanks for your encouragement and help. Thanks for being part of God making the impossible possible. We can look around and see SO many blessings. Sometimes they are so clear and so abundant that it is truly overwhelming.

I have so many on my heart with sickness and financial problems and family problems - so much heartache and hurting. If you are one of those, I am praying for you individually. And if you think I don't know, be assured I pray collectively. I know people pray for me without knowing what is going on. They answer that "nudge" to pray. Having that hope that only comes in Christ Jesus makes ALL the difference no matter what we go through in this world, our temporary home.

Happy Spring! Even though Easter is gone, we can still celebrate it all year!

Thanks again!

Two appointments ~ quality time with boys

Tuesday, I was able to spend the whole day with two of my boys!  Sam had a great day with Peter - he loved having Peter's attention and just hanging out.  I think Peter enjoyed a break from school to spend the day with us!

Sam's eye appointment went well.  We got there a little early, and they took us right back.  He had to do the whole, long exam.  He sat right in the chair and answered all of their questions.  When Dr. Saunders checked him, he found his eyes are slightly better...again.  The goal for him, being farsighted, is that his eyes get so much better that he only needs thin glasses.  Dr. Saunders said he checked him three different times for something, and Sam consistently gave the same answer.  I thought it was sweet when Dr. Saunders asked, "The first one, the second one, or are they about the same?"  Sam would quietly answer, "Yes."  Then he started answering one or two. 

We left and went to the mall for lunch.  Peter's appointment was not for another couple of hours.  We ate and looked around a bit.  Peter and Sam went to the sporting goods while I checked on a few things on my "running" list (the list I always seem to have something on!).  Then we took off for Peter's appointment.

I guess I was like Peter - thinking he would be able to stop using his foot brace as much.  But the doctor wanted him to continue to wear it for two more months and then come back.  Then he said he would probably have Peter continue to wear it for two more months and come back.  If all was well then (four months!), he would consider letting him take it off and start doing some things.  Peter was so disappointed - to say it lightly.  I reminded the doctor that Peter wanted to run in college.  He smiled and said he remembered.  He also said if the foot is not healed, that some people end up with screws in their feet.  I guess it's the bone and the location that makes it so hard to stay healed.  I knew not to talk to Peter too much, so I told him to pray about the first two months and go from there.  In the meantime, I told him we would check into a membership at the Wellness Center so he can swim and work out.  And, we got Krispy Kreme doughnuts on the way home to help ease the disappointment!

It's not the end of the world, but it's the end of Peter's high school career.  He did try to run on that foot for over a year before we found the problem.  I feel really bad about that, but now it needs to be fixed correctly so he can go on from where he is now.  It is hard to see him disappointed, but he is learning one of life's lessons for sure. 

So we rode home in quiet - with Peter listening to music and Sam sound asleep.  It was a long day, but it was a treasured day with two of my biggest blessings.

Today is an unexpected snow day - a great day to catch up on school work, watch some good movies on Netflix, and work on scholarship apps!  I am glad my boys had this unexpected break - their mommy needed it for them!

Thanks for praying for my boys!

We HOPE

This has been a rough week.  Really really rough.  Pete spoke last night in the Wednesday night Bible study at church.  I told him in the car that he could have helped my week if he had practiced on me earlier in the week ~ I needed to hear what he was sharing!  He talked about the ONE name above all names.  And the ONE person who can save us.  He told some funny stories to illustrate, but he spoke from Philippians and reminded us to give our burdens over to Him.

Monday night was one of those bad nights.  Andrew had a short but terrible seizure.  He was so locked up that he trembled badly coming out of everything.  When he is lying there not able to yet move, but his eyes are looking at me telling me he is okay, I am relieved but trying to figure it all out.  I am thankful yet dreading another time?  When will it end?  Will it?  Will he be okay?  Will he have a seizure at night and get sick and die without me waking up?

One time I shared that I was nudged awake.  I was.  I have NO doubts.  And I know Who nudged me.  I have felt fear, frustration, despair, and many other things over this.  I dread seeing my phone light up when Andrew is away from me (which is a lot).  Is he okay?  Is someone calling from the college or the track meet again?

I try not to baby him.  But we drive him around when we need to.  We turn up the ringers on our phones some days and hope they don't ring with an emergency.  I have hovered around buildings on campus waiting for him just in case.

We take him to doctors.  We get his medicine - even if we have to fight or beg for it.  And most of all, we love him.  We are his biggest fans and supporters - his family.  We cheer him on.  We are proud of him.  We are inspired by him.  We enjoy being around him.  We love laughing with him.

Yet...he scares me so badly sometimes I am not sure if I can take any more.  That is this week.  I had a tough night with Andrew in a lot of ways.  He had the seizure.  I felt the effects.  I hated the seizure.  I was scared that 911 would  not send someone in time.  I was afraid he may have another.  I did not sleep that well on the couch.  Instead of waking up feeling better and thankful, I woke up the next morning crying.  Uh oh.  That was not good.  I felt defeated and sad - in a lot of ways.

I have prayed.  Others have prayed.  Pete and I prayed over Andrew after the trauma passed that night.  But the dread had set in again.  I hated that Sam sat on the couch not moving while EMS came into our home to check on Andrew.  I could not seem to stand any of it.  And have no doubts, we prayed a lot, loudly, while all of this was going on.

My nerves felt shot.  We all get to that point when we feel we have been put through the wringer.  I told Pete that the least little thing seemed huge.  I felt so weary.  I wanted to crawl in a hole and only let a few people get close.  I just felt detached even though I knew better.

That was a lot for Tuesday.  Then Wednesday I woke up not crying but with an idea.  The idea that I thought maybe we could try this summer started tonight.  Andrew saw his neurologist today - even when he did not have an appointment yesterday morning.  It went so fast.  The doctors I talked with were on board and thought the idea was reasonable.  The negative is that if it does not work, options are running out.  But I cannot dwell on that right now.  I am too busy praying this will work.

Sometimes I get answers correct on Jeopardy because I don't have more information on a subject to confuse me.  So it's the answer I know, or I don't know the answer (not a clue).  I told Andrew's doctor that my limited knowledge made things simpler for me sometimes - even in his complex medical conditions.  That is why I understood the idea that did NOT come from me.  God sent it. I know He did.  He worked it out.  I had this idea over two years ago.  I did not think it up myself then either.  And I was so upset this week that I would not have remembered easily - I was trying to take a break from thinking too much or too hard.  So the idea replaced the tears of the day before.

Andrew started a third medication tonight.  He will take it for a few weeks.  We will do some labs and hopefully start taking away the other medicine.  We need TWO big things.  We need his liver to be okay.  And we need this old drug that we stopped using when he was in the 6th grade to control his seizures.  That is the simple part.

With all of his health issues, who knows why anything happens.  He does not follow a textbook case in anything he has.  So this is a good time for him to take something unlikely to work and let it work anyway.

Tough week.  But it's a week when I have felt my arms being held up to keep the waters from overflowing.  Maybe this week was harder so I would listen to the idea whispered in my ear.  Maybe being brought down allowed me to be still.

Thanks for praying for Andrew.  Please keep on.  We HOPE and pray this will work.

Quick Update

Just a quick update:

Andrew is doing okay.  He is very tired and not feeling like himself, but we are still working on getting his thyroid medicine right. And he has increased his seizure meds to where they were before the insurance gave us fits.  He is working hard and running hard.  His days start well before 6:00 am, so I am glad spring break is coming soon for him!  He can rest and watch Net Flix and rest some more!

Peter got his leg brace today.  It fits from the top of his lower leg to the end of his foot.  It will keep his leg/foot straight so his foot will continue to be in the proper position for healing or to keep it healed!  We were fortunate to get to Hickory and back before it started snowing...again.  So now, it can pour.  We got that checked off the big list!  Peter goes to DECA on Sunday, and we will miss him.  He will be back Wednesday.  His senior year is flying by way too fast.  He goes back to the foot doctor mid-March to see if his foot has healed.

Will got a new bike...again.  Only this child could sell his bike and then buy another - in an ICE STORM!  I had to fuss at him for wheeling and dealing on his own.  It is a pretty bike, and I hope it stays around for a little while!  We have talked and walked and talked about settling down and being satisfied with what we have.  It's a problem a lot of us have these days - we need that good deal!  (It runs in my family - not naming any names!)

Sam is doing well.  He has a long check list that he is not aware of...yet.  It consists (and is still in my head) of all of the things that bother me.  The things he is behind in, the learning difficulties he has, the goals he has not met.  I am just going to tackle them - with God's help.  His sugars have been mostly good.  He has a little cough but has not been sick.  We are so thankful for that!  He said one night out of the blue recently (I put it on FB already) that I would not have to remind him in Heaven to check his blood sugar because his pancreas would work!  He understands more than we think!  And what a great reminder!

Pete is not sure when he will be going on another long trip - maybe not until fall.  So I have started bugging him about finishing up the bathrooms and moving on to some other projects!  Will is still on standby too!

I cried all the way to work the other morning.  Pete drove because it was pretty icy.  A song came on, and I don't remember which one it was, and I just had tears rolling down my cheeks.  Pete prayed with me and for me.  He reminded me to keep casting all of those cares and worries.  And I keep trying.  It felt good to have reminders everywhere in the past two days that HE is with me.  There were so many things that I know were sent from Him directly to me - reminders of how He cares and how He provides.

Today, I heard a Quick Word with Beth Moore THREE times!  The scripture was Jeremiah 33:6-16.  I am going to go back and read it a few more times.  There was a reason I heard her three times today when I miss her most days.

There are so many things that make my heart heavy - so much sickness and so much sadness.  I have been reminded over and over that He is in control.  He loves us and cares for us.  I praise Him because of Who He is!