As the rain falls outside ~ gently but loud enough to hear, I pray that the sound will wash over my soul and so many others hurting tonight over the loss of precious little Peyton Elizabeth Townsend.
Peyton's mom is a nurse at my office. Peyton was a "regular" at the office, and we all loved the little blonde girl with the cute nose, bright blue eyes, and sweet smile. She loved to color...and color...and color. A lot of us spent the morning with her the Saturday before last at a big yard sale. Little did we know that the next Saturday she would be in Heaven. So fast. So quick. So unbelievable. Ask anyone who was told that Peyton was in an accident and did not make it. The first response was, "What?" Because our brains and our hearts could not comprehend ~ would not comprehend ~ such an awful thing. It has been a tough few days. We know how our hearts have broken, so we can only imagine a tiny bit of what this is for Peyton's mom and dad and sister and other family.
At her funeral tonight, there were so many great things said. They were honest, hurting speakers who still offered the hope that only comes in knowing Jesus Christ as your Savior. Peyton had asked Jesus into her heart. She had spent all week at Bible schools. She died in an accident at Bible school. One pastor said that Peyton taught us to 1) Love life 2) Love family and, most importantly, 3) Love Jesus. So many things were said, but so many things for us to think about no matter where we are ~ an almost believer, a new believer, or an old believer. So many things to ponder. The tragedies of life. What we don't understand. What matters and what does not. The pastor also told us to focus on what we do know. We do know Peyton is in Heaven. And we do know that with Christ there is hope. The second pastor echoed a lot and offered a lot of great points. He was missing one of his little buddies. It was tough. His message was "It is Well with Peyton." He referred to why it is well. He also said we don't have to like it, but we know Peyton is fine in Heaven. So we direct our prayers to her family who misses her so desperately.
The music was from the heart and beautiful. The song "He Loves Us" (David Crowder Band - not sure of the name) was so good, but we knew it was so tough for the main guy singing it. He kept on going and did not miss a beat. I believe he opened his mouth and let God bring forth the words. At one point, I am sure that is what we saw.
In her four and one half years, Peyton touched literally tons of lives. Please pray for her family as they miss her and must forge ahead in this temporary life until they go home. Knowing this is not our home will comfort them at some point, but I am sure all they know right now is wanting their little princess back.
Please pray for this family as they go through this dark dark valley.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
Mr. Moose
Sam told me this afternoon, as I was preparing to check his bsl, that he needed to get Rufus - that we had not given him a shot in a long time. Rufus is the bear with diabetes that Sam got in the hospital. Another mom of a diabetic son, who is also a nurse, had left us and driven to Charlotte to specifically get a backpack full of information ~ and Rufus. Rufus is a cute bear with patches to show where injections can be given. We have not played with Rufus or mentioned him in a long time.
So I asked Sam if he remembered Mr. Moose. The diabetes educator at the hospital was great. The nurses were great. I would have guessed that they educated parents on new diabetics all of the time. They showed us how to count carbs and draw up insulin with a syringe (We are so thankful for insulin pens!!!!). They showed us how to give injections and check Sam's blood sugar (This mommy has come a long way from almost passing out after stepping foot in any hospital when I was young!). We were, of course, so worried about Sam. He was very very sick. We were all concerned and did not know what to do minute to minute to keep him fed and settled.
So we were all exhausted. Every time I got to sit down and close my eyes for a second after Sam was settled, here came the diabetes educator to help me. I read the information she gave me. I kept track of things and brought a notebook and folder from home to keep up with everything. I had to learn. I knew we had to learn in order to leave ICU and then to go home. We had to learn fast ~ we did not know yet how fast.
The day Sam was diagnosed was Sunday. He was in the ER for a long time, and he kept asking for a drink. They were still doing tests, and he was so very sick. He could not have a drink the whole time we were there. He started asking the nurses for water and pointing to the IV bag and then to his mouth like none of us could understand what he wanted! Then he asked someone to get the water hose (water fountain) in the hall and bring him some water. He was finally able to get some ice chips and shoveled those in his mouth riding in the bed all the way up to ICU.
Pete and the boys had come back from a baptism in Winston while Will and I had been at the ER all day. So Pete stayed the night with Sam. Sam was exhausted and slept hard unless someone was checking something during the night.
The next morning, we switched off. I cannot remember which one of us took the boys to school, but I stayed with Sam from early in the morning until the evening. Pete went to work and took care of the boys after school. The first morning was rough. Sam woke up sick and hungry and not sure why he was in the hospital. He started crying and screaming, so out of character for him. I just held his arm or whatever he would let me hold and let him scream and cry for about 10 minutes. The nurses looked in curiously. I just let him let it out. I felt like he was doing it for me too. That few minutes represented our feelings of "please get us out of this!" He has not thrown a fit about diabetes since that one morning as a little sick five year old.
After that, we settled in to watch some TV. Later on, the diabetes educator came in. She brought "Mr. Moose" to talk to Sam about diabetes. Still not himself, Sam threw Mr. Moose across the room. We both remember that. Instead of being embarrassed or apologetic, I just told her that we did not seem to like Mr. Moose - either of us. We kept him, but he is not our favorite toy as he represents a bad day. But he is also a reminder of how far we have come. Sam did not throw a fit. He just threw Mr. Moose. Of course I told him he could not throw things, but I knew inside that we both wanted to throw Mr. Moose out of the window! We did not want a reason to meet Mr. Moose! We wanted to turn back the clock to the week before when diabetes was something we did not know much about!
Sam's day got better as some of his favorite people visited him, and he got lots of gifts and attention ~ something he was not used to. He watched Scooby Doo on a portable DVD player and had two trucks in his bed to keep him occupied while hooked up to things. I remember Pete calling me at night to tell me he had given Sam a shot. I could not believe it. Of course, I started giving them the next day! We were so worried about air bubbles and just knew we would never get the hang of drawing up insulin.
Once Sam was moved to the pediatric wing, we thought we had a couple of learning days left. But when Andrew had a couple of bad seizures and was brought in by an ambulance to the ER while Sam was upstairs in the pediatric wing, things kicked into high gear; and we were allowed to "practice" a few more times before bringing Sam home the next day. It is so hard to learn when we are exhausted, but God let the right things sink in and stay.
We dreaded meal times because we dreaded giving him injections. He had to stay still so that we, as inexperienced as we were, could give him injections with a syringe at a 45 degree angle. If he did not want to stay still, we had to hold him with our legs. Tough does not come close to describing it. When he first returned to preschool, I had to leave with him many times to give him his injection at home. Again, we are so thankful for the progress made in the past several years with diabetes equipment and supplies.
So Mr. Moose still lives in Sam's room ~ a reminder that no matter how impossible things seem, God will make a way to get through them. Today, the boys can all check Sam's blood sugar and give him injections. Wow. We did not think we would ever be used to this new life we all have - Sam especially. But here we are. Mr. Moose and all. And to be able to laugh at Mr. Moose flying across the room is a good thing. A really really good thing.
So I asked Sam if he remembered Mr. Moose. The diabetes educator at the hospital was great. The nurses were great. I would have guessed that they educated parents on new diabetics all of the time. They showed us how to count carbs and draw up insulin with a syringe (We are so thankful for insulin pens!!!!). They showed us how to give injections and check Sam's blood sugar (This mommy has come a long way from almost passing out after stepping foot in any hospital when I was young!). We were, of course, so worried about Sam. He was very very sick. We were all concerned and did not know what to do minute to minute to keep him fed and settled.
So we were all exhausted. Every time I got to sit down and close my eyes for a second after Sam was settled, here came the diabetes educator to help me. I read the information she gave me. I kept track of things and brought a notebook and folder from home to keep up with everything. I had to learn. I knew we had to learn in order to leave ICU and then to go home. We had to learn fast ~ we did not know yet how fast.
The day Sam was diagnosed was Sunday. He was in the ER for a long time, and he kept asking for a drink. They were still doing tests, and he was so very sick. He could not have a drink the whole time we were there. He started asking the nurses for water and pointing to the IV bag and then to his mouth like none of us could understand what he wanted! Then he asked someone to get the water hose (water fountain) in the hall and bring him some water. He was finally able to get some ice chips and shoveled those in his mouth riding in the bed all the way up to ICU.
Pete and the boys had come back from a baptism in Winston while Will and I had been at the ER all day. So Pete stayed the night with Sam. Sam was exhausted and slept hard unless someone was checking something during the night.
The next morning, we switched off. I cannot remember which one of us took the boys to school, but I stayed with Sam from early in the morning until the evening. Pete went to work and took care of the boys after school. The first morning was rough. Sam woke up sick and hungry and not sure why he was in the hospital. He started crying and screaming, so out of character for him. I just held his arm or whatever he would let me hold and let him scream and cry for about 10 minutes. The nurses looked in curiously. I just let him let it out. I felt like he was doing it for me too. That few minutes represented our feelings of "please get us out of this!" He has not thrown a fit about diabetes since that one morning as a little sick five year old.
After that, we settled in to watch some TV. Later on, the diabetes educator came in. She brought "Mr. Moose" to talk to Sam about diabetes. Still not himself, Sam threw Mr. Moose across the room. We both remember that. Instead of being embarrassed or apologetic, I just told her that we did not seem to like Mr. Moose - either of us. We kept him, but he is not our favorite toy as he represents a bad day. But he is also a reminder of how far we have come. Sam did not throw a fit. He just threw Mr. Moose. Of course I told him he could not throw things, but I knew inside that we both wanted to throw Mr. Moose out of the window! We did not want a reason to meet Mr. Moose! We wanted to turn back the clock to the week before when diabetes was something we did not know much about!
Sam's day got better as some of his favorite people visited him, and he got lots of gifts and attention ~ something he was not used to. He watched Scooby Doo on a portable DVD player and had two trucks in his bed to keep him occupied while hooked up to things. I remember Pete calling me at night to tell me he had given Sam a shot. I could not believe it. Of course, I started giving them the next day! We were so worried about air bubbles and just knew we would never get the hang of drawing up insulin.
Once Sam was moved to the pediatric wing, we thought we had a couple of learning days left. But when Andrew had a couple of bad seizures and was brought in by an ambulance to the ER while Sam was upstairs in the pediatric wing, things kicked into high gear; and we were allowed to "practice" a few more times before bringing Sam home the next day. It is so hard to learn when we are exhausted, but God let the right things sink in and stay.
We dreaded meal times because we dreaded giving him injections. He had to stay still so that we, as inexperienced as we were, could give him injections with a syringe at a 45 degree angle. If he did not want to stay still, we had to hold him with our legs. Tough does not come close to describing it. When he first returned to preschool, I had to leave with him many times to give him his injection at home. Again, we are so thankful for the progress made in the past several years with diabetes equipment and supplies.
So Mr. Moose still lives in Sam's room ~ a reminder that no matter how impossible things seem, God will make a way to get through them. Today, the boys can all check Sam's blood sugar and give him injections. Wow. We did not think we would ever be used to this new life we all have - Sam especially. But here we are. Mr. Moose and all. And to be able to laugh at Mr. Moose flying across the room is a good thing. A really really good thing.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
He Made It!
Andrew made it to the state meet - barely! His race started off fine for him, but he took the lead earlier; because the pace was not fast enough. With his best time, he was ranked in first place by quite a bit. But with all of his struggles the past week and a half, we could not count on that time. He looked okay but not great. With a few laps to go, two guys passed him. He stayed with them a little, but then he started struggling a bit. The last lap, especially the last 100, was so hard to watch! I was in the corner at turn 4 and could not see if he made it. Third, fourth, and fifth finished within one second of each other. It could not have been closer, and Andrew was fourth. Four places made it to state.
We found out yesterday that Andrew has bronchitis, so he started antibiotics. Hopefully, that will help him get back on track for Saturday. As I prayed for him running that last 100 where his feet were barely coming off the track, I turned and prayed that he could hold on to his place. I thought he was passed but turned around just in time to see that there was a slight chance of him making it. Pete was at the finish and held up his hands a few inches apart. We are thankful he held on that much.
The last couple of days, I have been reminded two different times that Andrew won't live with us full-time much longer! Before I started that dread, I believe the promises that were whispered to me the other night kicked in. I had an email from a mom I have not seen in a couple of years. She emailed to ask me about something for someone else. Then she told me to cry a lot the night before graduation. She did that and was fine the day of graduation! Another special friend left a message that hit the right spot at just the right time. And then I was reminded that even though Andrew is getting ready to go that he has already been getting ready to go. He is very independent and:
1. Worked 32-40 hours each week last summer showing that he can survive in a place where he is not immediately comfortable and may not always want to be!
2. Earned the money to buy his truck from Uncle Dwayne and Aunt Whitney. It means more that he bought it himself.
3. Has been doing his own laundry for a few years now. He knows how to treat stains, especially that mud splatter from running, and how to sort his clothes.
4. Can feed himself which he does even more since he has changed his diet a lot in the past several months.
5. Takes a lot of medication each day and keeps up with when he takes it and when he is running low.
6. Does not like to spend/waste his money or ours. He will be frugal and get what he needs but not overspend.
7. Can do his own infusions - not needing any help from me.
8. Is learning more and more to check on things himself and is not afraid to ask questions.
9. Has done some really thoughtful things lately to keep me informed or help me not worry about him.
Although he has a long way to go, he has made some huge steps in the way of independence already. I know I will be better off if I focus on what he can do already and appreciate that while praying for him as he learns more and more. And I know these are positives that God reminded me of today.
So thanks for praying. He runs the 3200 in Greensboro Saturday, and then will run home and get ready for the prom! It will be a big day and night!
I have been listening to the Steven Curtis Chapman CD that Whitney gave me and found a great song for Andrew as he graduates. He may not listen to it! But I am! It reminds me of something his fourth grade teacher would give him. I guess it is normal at this point to remember all of those who have impacted his life, and ours, so much in the past 18 years.
Wendi
Meant to Be ~ Steven Curtis Chapman
Long Before You Drew Your First Breath
A Dream Was Coming True
God Wanted to Give A Gift To The World
So He Wrapped It Up In You
Every Step That You’ve Taken
Every Move That You Make
Is Part Of His Plan
You Were Meant To Be Touching
The Lives That You Touch
And Meant To Be Here
Making This World So Much More
Than It Would Be Without You In It
You Were Meant To Be Bringing
The Gifts That You Bring
And Singing The Songs
You’ve Been Given To Sing
You Are Perfectly, Wonderfully,
Beautifully Meant To Be
You Were Meant To Be
Long Before You Took Your First Fall
You stumbled to the ground
God started telling the story of you to the angles around
Every failure and victory
Everything in between
Its all in his hand
You Were Meant To Be Touching
The Lives That You Touch
And Meant To Be Here
Making This World So Much More
Than It Would Be Without You In It
You Were Meant To Be Bringing
The Gifts That You Bring
And Singing The Songs
You’ve Been Given To Sing
You Are Perfectly, Wonderfully,
Beautifully Meant To Be
You Were Meant To Be (yeah)
Meant To Be
You are
You are
You are meant to be
You are
You are
You are meant to be
For every breath that your taking
And every move that you make
It’s a meaningful life you’ve been given
Live it well
You Were Meant To Be Touching
The Lives That You Touch
And Meant To Be Here
Making This World So Much More
Than It Would Be Without You In It
You Were Meant To Be Bringing
The Gifts That You Bring
And Singing The Songs
You’ve Been Given To Sing
You Are Perfectly, Wonderfully,
Beautifully Meant To Be (yeah)
You Were Meant To Be (yeah)
You Were Meant To Be (yeah)
You Were Meant To Be
To Be
You Were Meant To Be
We found out yesterday that Andrew has bronchitis, so he started antibiotics. Hopefully, that will help him get back on track for Saturday. As I prayed for him running that last 100 where his feet were barely coming off the track, I turned and prayed that he could hold on to his place. I thought he was passed but turned around just in time to see that there was a slight chance of him making it. Pete was at the finish and held up his hands a few inches apart. We are thankful he held on that much.
The last couple of days, I have been reminded two different times that Andrew won't live with us full-time much longer! Before I started that dread, I believe the promises that were whispered to me the other night kicked in. I had an email from a mom I have not seen in a couple of years. She emailed to ask me about something for someone else. Then she told me to cry a lot the night before graduation. She did that and was fine the day of graduation! Another special friend left a message that hit the right spot at just the right time. And then I was reminded that even though Andrew is getting ready to go that he has already been getting ready to go. He is very independent and:
1. Worked 32-40 hours each week last summer showing that he can survive in a place where he is not immediately comfortable and may not always want to be!
2. Earned the money to buy his truck from Uncle Dwayne and Aunt Whitney. It means more that he bought it himself.
3. Has been doing his own laundry for a few years now. He knows how to treat stains, especially that mud splatter from running, and how to sort his clothes.
4. Can feed himself which he does even more since he has changed his diet a lot in the past several months.
5. Takes a lot of medication each day and keeps up with when he takes it and when he is running low.
6. Does not like to spend/waste his money or ours. He will be frugal and get what he needs but not overspend.
7. Can do his own infusions - not needing any help from me.
8. Is learning more and more to check on things himself and is not afraid to ask questions.
9. Has done some really thoughtful things lately to keep me informed or help me not worry about him.
Although he has a long way to go, he has made some huge steps in the way of independence already. I know I will be better off if I focus on what he can do already and appreciate that while praying for him as he learns more and more. And I know these are positives that God reminded me of today.
So thanks for praying. He runs the 3200 in Greensboro Saturday, and then will run home and get ready for the prom! It will be a big day and night!
I have been listening to the Steven Curtis Chapman CD that Whitney gave me and found a great song for Andrew as he graduates. He may not listen to it! But I am! It reminds me of something his fourth grade teacher would give him. I guess it is normal at this point to remember all of those who have impacted his life, and ours, so much in the past 18 years.
Wendi
Meant to Be ~ Steven Curtis Chapman
Long Before You Drew Your First Breath
A Dream Was Coming True
God Wanted to Give A Gift To The World
So He Wrapped It Up In You
Every Step That You’ve Taken
Every Move That You Make
Is Part Of His Plan
You Were Meant To Be Touching
The Lives That You Touch
And Meant To Be Here
Making This World So Much More
Than It Would Be Without You In It
You Were Meant To Be Bringing
The Gifts That You Bring
And Singing The Songs
You’ve Been Given To Sing
You Are Perfectly, Wonderfully,
Beautifully Meant To Be
You Were Meant To Be
Long Before You Took Your First Fall
You stumbled to the ground
God started telling the story of you to the angles around
Every failure and victory
Everything in between
Its all in his hand
You Were Meant To Be Touching
The Lives That You Touch
And Meant To Be Here
Making This World So Much More
Than It Would Be Without You In It
You Were Meant To Be Bringing
The Gifts That You Bring
And Singing The Songs
You’ve Been Given To Sing
You Are Perfectly, Wonderfully,
Beautifully Meant To Be
You Were Meant To Be (yeah)
Meant To Be
You are
You are
You are meant to be
You are
You are
You are meant to be
For every breath that your taking
And every move that you make
It’s a meaningful life you’ve been given
Live it well
You Were Meant To Be Touching
The Lives That You Touch
And Meant To Be Here
Making This World So Much More
Than It Would Be Without You In It
You Were Meant To Be Bringing
The Gifts That You Bring
And Singing The Songs
You’ve Been Given To Sing
You Are Perfectly, Wonderfully,
Beautifully Meant To Be (yeah)
You Were Meant To Be (yeah)
You Were Meant To Be (yeah)
You Were Meant To Be
To Be
You Were Meant To Be
Friday, April 20, 2012
Day 5 ~ Freedom
Today is Day 5 - as Sam calls it! Pete is sleeping near the edge of the Dead Sea, the lowest point on earth. I think it is 1300 feet below sea level. And we are here at 3333 in Boone! He was in Jericho today for lunch. I cannot wait to talk to him. We have texted each day, but we have not talked!
Last night Andrew and I stayed up getting all of his paperwork signed for Milligan - scholarships, athletic stuff, housing info, deposit, etc. And we finished up a big scholarship packet and mailed it too. When I went to mail the package and get stamps, I got the new forever stamps. The one I picked to put on his college stuff said "Freedom" ~ how fitting. I need to give him his freedom to go out and be who God wants him to be. It's tough, but I know that is what I need to do. I cannot keep him with me anymore.
Sam reminds me so much of Andrew when he was little - only more like Andrew than Andrew himself. He can sometimes cling a little bit. He loves to hug me and be close by. He wants me to "tap him on the shoulder" before we leave (so he won't get left behind). He likes to have me close. And I won't make some of the same questionable decisions I made to "help" Andrew come out of his shell. I won't make him go to strange Bible schools to get him to open up. I won't fret over him not being as outgoing as his peers. (I mean, I will try not to.) I will give him the opportunities and encourage, but not push, him to take them. Andrew found his way. Sam will too. One thing I won't do is be timid to ask questions or ask people for help. I tried to not bother anyone before, but it's worth bothering.
So tomorrow will be Day 6. And Andrew is getting ready to be free. I am excited that he is excited.
Last night Andrew and I stayed up getting all of his paperwork signed for Milligan - scholarships, athletic stuff, housing info, deposit, etc. And we finished up a big scholarship packet and mailed it too. When I went to mail the package and get stamps, I got the new forever stamps. The one I picked to put on his college stuff said "Freedom" ~ how fitting. I need to give him his freedom to go out and be who God wants him to be. It's tough, but I know that is what I need to do. I cannot keep him with me anymore.
Sam reminds me so much of Andrew when he was little - only more like Andrew than Andrew himself. He can sometimes cling a little bit. He loves to hug me and be close by. He wants me to "tap him on the shoulder" before we leave (so he won't get left behind). He likes to have me close. And I won't make some of the same questionable decisions I made to "help" Andrew come out of his shell. I won't make him go to strange Bible schools to get him to open up. I won't fret over him not being as outgoing as his peers. (I mean, I will try not to.) I will give him the opportunities and encourage, but not push, him to take them. Andrew found his way. Sam will too. One thing I won't do is be timid to ask questions or ask people for help. I tried to not bother anyone before, but it's worth bothering.
So tomorrow will be Day 6. And Andrew is getting ready to be free. I am excited that he is excited.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Day Two
Sam has called this Day Two since early today on the way to school. He asked me late this evening if it was Day Three yet! He misses Daddy!
Daddy is in Israel. I have only heard from him once. But that was enough to take the edge of worry off. He was going to eat and then go to bed. It was 11:20 our time and 6:20 his. So I think he is still asleep right now!
Day Two was not productive except that we did everything we needed to do. I did not get my second walk in because I was going to a meeting, but I never found the people! Will and I went to clean at Greenway, and the parking lot was FULL of firetrucks. Lightning had struck, and smoke was seen. The scene was almost cleared, so we got to go in and get started. We got finished in record time - not wanting to be stuck with the alarm that may or may not behave!
So my upstairs painting project is still waiting. No track meet tomorrow so maybe a good deal of painting getting done!
Off to check on a blond headed little person who misses his daddy...
Next time I wake up, we will be on Day Three...
Daddy is in Israel. I have only heard from him once. But that was enough to take the edge of worry off. He was going to eat and then go to bed. It was 11:20 our time and 6:20 his. So I think he is still asleep right now!
Day Two was not productive except that we did everything we needed to do. I did not get my second walk in because I was going to a meeting, but I never found the people! Will and I went to clean at Greenway, and the parking lot was FULL of firetrucks. Lightning had struck, and smoke was seen. The scene was almost cleared, so we got to go in and get started. We got finished in record time - not wanting to be stuck with the alarm that may or may not behave!
So my upstairs painting project is still waiting. No track meet tomorrow so maybe a good deal of painting getting done!
Off to check on a blond headed little person who misses his daddy...
Next time I wake up, we will be on Day Three...
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Compromise - among other things
Getting ready for college - yes, me. I am getting ready for Andrew to go to college. I remember my first day. It will not be the same as his. He won't cry after everyone leaves while cleaning his desk with Lysol. And he won't have an older brother who won't go to eat with him for a week to give him a chance to make his own way (like I had that older sister!). Funny side note ~ one of the first times I went to eat with her, Pete was there.
There are so many things about to change. And I don't like change. I have lived in too many houses. I have "lost" too many friends in the past few years. I do have some good things, of course, but I don't really like change. God knows this. And I know that change is part of life. I will do it, but I would rather not most of the time! When I look back over my life, change has brought the best and the biggest blessings.
Pete toured the college where Andrew has decided to attend. The parent with 20+ years in Admissions was not available ~ I was at my other learning post, one of Sam's doctors. I did not do something with my own child that I have helped others with for many years. The school is small. It is a Christian school. And Andrew will be able to run in at least the top three right now. The coaches were great. The people they met were helpful and kind. And Andrew is excited. So I have to be excited too. This means pushing back, but also dealing with them at the same time, the fears that I hold for him. I have to overcome them just as much as he has. I have to trust more and have more faith in the One Who loves him the most. It's hard. It will be harder.
So I have started his "college shopping." Andrew thinks less is more, so our list is not extensive. I have gotten some towels, a great blanket from the Pottery Barn Outlet (it should be fun to shop, right?), and a few other odds and ends. We have a list. I can pick out the stuff he will like - as long as he does not have to go shopping! I am waiting for things to "appear" at TJ Maxx. I thought this project would keep me a little bit busy on something positive that will help get him ready.
We have started making plans for graduation and a party afterwards. I have gathered some napkins and decorations and have some great ideas. He does not like to be the focus, so it has to be low key too. I want him to know how much we appreciate him and love him while we get him ready to go.
He has a truck he bought with his own money from working 32-40 hours every week last summer. He has money he has saved. His job while at school will be running for the great scholarship he has been offered. So he is looking for another summer job and will spend his last summer at home as a full-time, live-in family member. After that, he will only live here part-time. And while he is welcome any time, he will be on his way to his life ~ the one we have been readying him for all of these years.
And yes, I would go back to when he was five or six. Or ten when Sam was born. Or when he first started high school. I would go back and relive every single good, hard, scary, and special time. But since I cannot, I look at other parents (particularly moms) who have done a great job readying their children to go and letting them leave ~ and I find great comfort and encouragement in watching them. They don't know I am watching. But I am. More and more.
We wish Andrew the very best in this next phase of life. We are excited to see what he does. We know he will go to class and study. We know he will run and respect his coaches and work hard for his team. We know that is who he is.
So when I worry about the awful health stuff, I do try to remember of some things that God has blessed me with in regard to Andrew. He won't compromise on some things that most college students do. He won't drink or do drugs. Andrew is very aware of keeping himself as healthy as he can. He has changed a lot of eating habits on his own with his own research. But it's more than that. He doesn't have a desire to do those things. And for that, I am so thankful. So he won't be bringing on things to himself. He will do his best (he's not perfect), and he will see how God helps him overcome and blesses him in this next time period.
I did go on a tour with my boys. I dragged them around in a thunderstorm to tour a school I always thought they would attend. The tour guide was great and full of interesting and helpful information. But they had to mention beer. And pretty much everyone had to laugh as if it was a great part of the college experience. And I pray and pray the rest of my boys will not be interested. That they won't want to "just try it." I don't want them to just like it a little bit. I don't want them to be tied to it at all. So that put a little damper on things but made me realize how important that one thing is. It would not be a deal breaker, but I wish it had not gotten so widespread and out of hand.
I love Karen Kingsbury books. I was so disappointed in one of her latest books that seemed like no one took the time to proof it very well. The wrong character's name was used in one spot along with some grammar and spelling issues. Her last book was great but had one very disappointing part in it. I won't spoil the book, but I felt like she went out of her way to compromise on something that did not even have to be addressed in the story line. While I was excited for my own niece to read the series (and I don't worry about her getting any bad ideas from the books!), I was let down when I read that one line. I just don't understand why she put it in her book.
We often talk in Sunday School about reasons we don't share Jesus enough. One is because we don't want to offend anyone. We don't want to make people uncomfortable. But we surely compromise all of the time when we don't speak up and share the most wonderful thing we could ever share - the gift of salvation freely given to us by Jesus when He died on the cross for our sins. I seem to hesitate to share that while tip toe-ing around issues that threaten people's earthly lives as well as their eternal lives. Sometimes the best way to share is in the way we live our lives. When I let everything "slide" by, I don't look any different than anyone else. I want to be like that little 5th grader (the one getting ready to graduate this spring) who did not care that only he and one other boy voted for George Bush in his class. He did not back down nor was he ashamed. He knew why we did not vote for "the other guy" and held fast to his own convictions when we were not there to back him up. Those convictions became his own - not just inherited from his parents. And I am happy that little 5th grader can now vote as North Carolina has a very important issue coming up soon.
So while I am trying to prepare for the first one going to college - one that I did not think could leave home so soon - I am praying to handle it with grace and learn what I need to learn and give attention where it is needed ~ whether it is under the same roof or an hour and a half away. And I pray my children will have their own convictions and lead a loving and giving life that makes them stand out (in a good, solid way) and point people in the right direction.
A whole other issue ~ but I want my children to know they are loved and special but to break the mold of living like they are most important and that their happiness is imperative above all else! I don't know what lessons they will have to learn or the obstacles that will be in their way. But I keep praying that God will use them and that they will be willing to be used. They are great boys, and I hope they realize all they have been blessed with and that they have so much to share.
There are so many things about to change. And I don't like change. I have lived in too many houses. I have "lost" too many friends in the past few years. I do have some good things, of course, but I don't really like change. God knows this. And I know that change is part of life. I will do it, but I would rather not most of the time! When I look back over my life, change has brought the best and the biggest blessings.
Pete toured the college where Andrew has decided to attend. The parent with 20+ years in Admissions was not available ~ I was at my other learning post, one of Sam's doctors. I did not do something with my own child that I have helped others with for many years. The school is small. It is a Christian school. And Andrew will be able to run in at least the top three right now. The coaches were great. The people they met were helpful and kind. And Andrew is excited. So I have to be excited too. This means pushing back, but also dealing with them at the same time, the fears that I hold for him. I have to overcome them just as much as he has. I have to trust more and have more faith in the One Who loves him the most. It's hard. It will be harder.
So I have started his "college shopping." Andrew thinks less is more, so our list is not extensive. I have gotten some towels, a great blanket from the Pottery Barn Outlet (it should be fun to shop, right?), and a few other odds and ends. We have a list. I can pick out the stuff he will like - as long as he does not have to go shopping! I am waiting for things to "appear" at TJ Maxx. I thought this project would keep me a little bit busy on something positive that will help get him ready.
We have started making plans for graduation and a party afterwards. I have gathered some napkins and decorations and have some great ideas. He does not like to be the focus, so it has to be low key too. I want him to know how much we appreciate him and love him while we get him ready to go.
He has a truck he bought with his own money from working 32-40 hours every week last summer. He has money he has saved. His job while at school will be running for the great scholarship he has been offered. So he is looking for another summer job and will spend his last summer at home as a full-time, live-in family member. After that, he will only live here part-time. And while he is welcome any time, he will be on his way to his life ~ the one we have been readying him for all of these years.
And yes, I would go back to when he was five or six. Or ten when Sam was born. Or when he first started high school. I would go back and relive every single good, hard, scary, and special time. But since I cannot, I look at other parents (particularly moms) who have done a great job readying their children to go and letting them leave ~ and I find great comfort and encouragement in watching them. They don't know I am watching. But I am. More and more.
We wish Andrew the very best in this next phase of life. We are excited to see what he does. We know he will go to class and study. We know he will run and respect his coaches and work hard for his team. We know that is who he is.
So when I worry about the awful health stuff, I do try to remember of some things that God has blessed me with in regard to Andrew. He won't compromise on some things that most college students do. He won't drink or do drugs. Andrew is very aware of keeping himself as healthy as he can. He has changed a lot of eating habits on his own with his own research. But it's more than that. He doesn't have a desire to do those things. And for that, I am so thankful. So he won't be bringing on things to himself. He will do his best (he's not perfect), and he will see how God helps him overcome and blesses him in this next time period.
I did go on a tour with my boys. I dragged them around in a thunderstorm to tour a school I always thought they would attend. The tour guide was great and full of interesting and helpful information. But they had to mention beer. And pretty much everyone had to laugh as if it was a great part of the college experience. And I pray and pray the rest of my boys will not be interested. That they won't want to "just try it." I don't want them to just like it a little bit. I don't want them to be tied to it at all. So that put a little damper on things but made me realize how important that one thing is. It would not be a deal breaker, but I wish it had not gotten so widespread and out of hand.
I love Karen Kingsbury books. I was so disappointed in one of her latest books that seemed like no one took the time to proof it very well. The wrong character's name was used in one spot along with some grammar and spelling issues. Her last book was great but had one very disappointing part in it. I won't spoil the book, but I felt like she went out of her way to compromise on something that did not even have to be addressed in the story line. While I was excited for my own niece to read the series (and I don't worry about her getting any bad ideas from the books!), I was let down when I read that one line. I just don't understand why she put it in her book.
We often talk in Sunday School about reasons we don't share Jesus enough. One is because we don't want to offend anyone. We don't want to make people uncomfortable. But we surely compromise all of the time when we don't speak up and share the most wonderful thing we could ever share - the gift of salvation freely given to us by Jesus when He died on the cross for our sins. I seem to hesitate to share that while tip toe-ing around issues that threaten people's earthly lives as well as their eternal lives. Sometimes the best way to share is in the way we live our lives. When I let everything "slide" by, I don't look any different than anyone else. I want to be like that little 5th grader (the one getting ready to graduate this spring) who did not care that only he and one other boy voted for George Bush in his class. He did not back down nor was he ashamed. He knew why we did not vote for "the other guy" and held fast to his own convictions when we were not there to back him up. Those convictions became his own - not just inherited from his parents. And I am happy that little 5th grader can now vote as North Carolina has a very important issue coming up soon.
So while I am trying to prepare for the first one going to college - one that I did not think could leave home so soon - I am praying to handle it with grace and learn what I need to learn and give attention where it is needed ~ whether it is under the same roof or an hour and a half away. And I pray my children will have their own convictions and lead a loving and giving life that makes them stand out (in a good, solid way) and point people in the right direction.
A whole other issue ~ but I want my children to know they are loved and special but to break the mold of living like they are most important and that their happiness is imperative above all else! I don't know what lessons they will have to learn or the obstacles that will be in their way. But I keep praying that God will use them and that they will be willing to be used. They are great boys, and I hope they realize all they have been blessed with and that they have so much to share.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Update this week!
Andrew is doing well. He is running PR's in track - so far in the 1600 in Outdoor following PR's in the 3200 in Indoor. He has not yet run a 3200 this season. He is swimming when he can and running early before school some mornings. Our treadmill sure gets a workout! And the weather is great for running!
He is also weighing his college decision still. He is leaning more towards where he can run and fit in better. It's an exciting time, but I know it will be a relief when everything is settled! He is enjoying his senior year and has a lot of things coming up.
Peter is nursing a hurting foot but is running well so far. He ran Saturday (after running in a Friday night track meet) in the road race in Charlotte benefiting Levine Children's Hospital and IDF. He was 4th or 5th overall out of several hundred runners. Andrew was 10th. I thought it was so good of Peter to run to support his brother. Will and I volunteered. And Pete got to meet Andrew's doctor. Now Dr. Patel has met the whole family!
Will is running outdoor, and it was so neat to have THREE boys in the same race the other night! Sam asked when he would get "his" Watauga uniform. He is carrying around a shoe bag packed with shorts, a t-shirt, shoes, socks, a water bottle, and a head band for his next cross country race. So I am going to sign him up for the track club. His numbers are MUCH better the last bit since we were finally able to change his Lantus, 24-hour insulin. We cannot change it until his numbers get higher, and he does not have lows; or he could be at risk for too many lows. We finally are at a good amount, and it is a relief to see so many readings in the 100's! It is not unusual for him to find one of us in the house with an apple in one hand and his insulin pen in another. He loves apples and cuties! And grapes!
That's it for this week. I do ask that you pray for a situation over which we have no control that could really affect Andrew. It's a frustrating situation, and I dread going to the mailbox right now. I prayed as I sent off paperwork and hope that what comes will be good for Andrew. I don't mean to sound mysterious, but it's a sensitive issue that not everyone can understand. God gives me people to support and encourage even in these tough places, but I also know not to set myself up to feel defensive for those who don't. I am pretty open about things, and I am learning in my older age that sometimes that is not the best thing!
Thanks for the prayers! We appreciate everyone!
He is also weighing his college decision still. He is leaning more towards where he can run and fit in better. It's an exciting time, but I know it will be a relief when everything is settled! He is enjoying his senior year and has a lot of things coming up.
Peter is nursing a hurting foot but is running well so far. He ran Saturday (after running in a Friday night track meet) in the road race in Charlotte benefiting Levine Children's Hospital and IDF. He was 4th or 5th overall out of several hundred runners. Andrew was 10th. I thought it was so good of Peter to run to support his brother. Will and I volunteered. And Pete got to meet Andrew's doctor. Now Dr. Patel has met the whole family!
Will is running outdoor, and it was so neat to have THREE boys in the same race the other night! Sam asked when he would get "his" Watauga uniform. He is carrying around a shoe bag packed with shorts, a t-shirt, shoes, socks, a water bottle, and a head band for his next cross country race. So I am going to sign him up for the track club. His numbers are MUCH better the last bit since we were finally able to change his Lantus, 24-hour insulin. We cannot change it until his numbers get higher, and he does not have lows; or he could be at risk for too many lows. We finally are at a good amount, and it is a relief to see so many readings in the 100's! It is not unusual for him to find one of us in the house with an apple in one hand and his insulin pen in another. He loves apples and cuties! And grapes!
That's it for this week. I do ask that you pray for a situation over which we have no control that could really affect Andrew. It's a frustrating situation, and I dread going to the mailbox right now. I prayed as I sent off paperwork and hope that what comes will be good for Andrew. I don't mean to sound mysterious, but it's a sensitive issue that not everyone can understand. God gives me people to support and encourage even in these tough places, but I also know not to set myself up to feel defensive for those who don't. I am pretty open about things, and I am learning in my older age that sometimes that is not the best thing!
Thanks for the prayers! We appreciate everyone!
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