Quick Update

Andrew went to his immunologist early (b/c of insurance changes coming soon), so it was pretty routine.  We did labs, but we did not check his IG levels this time.  That was a little odd to me, but I think it was because he has gone all fall without any serious infections.  He had a terrible upper respiratory something when he ran his regional meet up in Charlottesville, VA, but he ran a great 10K.  His liver levels are still up on the higher end of normal but were actually down a little from a couple of weeks ago.  I very much dislike going back to the numbers watch, but it seems that that is what I do.

We also met with his neurologist and increased his meds a little bit.  We talked a lot about options that are running out and maybe other options.  Please pray for clear guidance.  And please still pray for healing.  I feel as Andrew reaches age 20 that I have run out of my encouraging words from others I have held onto for many years.  The teacher who told me he believed God told him to call me one day and tell me about his own son.  The people who knew someone who struggled with seizures but went to college and never had another.  Only God and I know what they all are, and I would explain; but it’s too difficult.  But I have held onto these stories that people have told me.  The scenarios seemed like they could work…but they haven’t for him.  I know he can have his own story.  I know he does.  But in coping all of these years, I have held onto some hope that involves me making things okay by a certain time.  I feel like we are running out of time.

When the nurse measured Andrew the other day, she rattled off numbers and then said his height, which was a full inch above what I thought.  Well, she miscalculated as I thought of the first number.  My hope sparked and then just deflated.  It seems he has run out of time to grow.  I have had the talk about height from so many doctors.  I have wanted to yell at someone!  Looking back, I feel like I did not push hard enough.  I missed the opportunity to help him.  I trusted people who were not helping him as much as I thought they were.  I know he is hard to treat.  I just wish I had taken him other places sooner and not been so nice.  I wish I had been pushier.  Then I think that I am wrong.  I know God knows.  I know He can still make Andrew grow.  I know Andrew does not have to.  I just look at it as MY failure.  And in this case, I do appreciate those of you who remind me how much your brothers or friends grew in college! 

I think I equate Andrew growing with his body finally healing and getting on track.  I know maybe that is not what is meant to be.  And that is hard to accept.  I realize as he gets older that it’s harder and harder for me.  I wanted to be able to send him out on his own in a good, stable way.  I am scared that I cannot yet do that.  On the other hand, he can make his decisions now – which can be good and bad.  We will be happy to help him, but it’s up to him.  I appreciate that he listens and takes part more in what is discussed.   And I am learning to let go more and more.  And that is hard.  Not because I am a control freak but because I want him to understand the whole story.

Please just pray for Andrew ~ that he can shake off some of these illnesses with such dreary futures and that he makes good decisions for his own health. 

Sam is good.  He has had some extreme lows and some unexplained highs.  But we love seeing those numbers in the 100’s.  When I checked him and showed him a 55 today, he fell back on the couch and stuck his tongue out of the side of his mouth being dramatic.  He knew he should feel bad, so he must not have been 55 long.  I told Pete at least he is recognizing more and more what those numbers mean so he can do something about it.  And I so appreciate his sense of humor.

Peter is home for Thanksgiving, and we have enjoyed actually spending a little time with him!  We miss him even though he is right across town.  And Will is good – just trying to get a deer.  I must admit I feel relief when he comes in without one again.

Thank you for your prayers.  Thank you for your encouragement.  We are so thankful.