Happy 18th Birthday ~ Andrew!

Tomorrow Andrew will be 18! I cannot believe it and am thinking we must go get his license renewed as it expires tomorrow!

As I look back, I can go right to the hospital room in Abingdon where Andrew and I wore out several people trying to get him here! I remember looking around at one point and thinking that everyone helping me was as exhausted as I was! I won't forget Pete eating candy I did not like (so he told my doctor it did not bother me because I did not like it ~ even if I was starving!). And Whitney saying she was going to run and "get a drink...uh...I mean, go to the bathroom" because she knew I was so thirsty. I remember being promised pizza and 2 liter drinks by Gene Kistner ~ which by the way were long gone the next morning when Andrew finally arrived. I remember pretending I was running up hills and giving it all I had to get my baby safely in my arms!

The next morning when Andrew had arrived, pretty much everyone went home exhausted. And about that time, my grandparents (Nannie and Grandad) arrived. Grandad took Pete to breakfast (he was starved!), and Nannie offered to stay with me...until the nurses came to get me out of bed! Then I had them show her to a nice waiting area so she would not faint. She was not up to seeing me in any kind of pain! It was so sweet ~ that special time to share with them. And they were the only people who knew us within a few miles radius who had gotten a good night's sleep!

At the hospital, you stayed in a large room with a TV and all of the soft drinks you wanted before the baby came. When you really could not watch much TV nor could you drink. After the baby, they moved you across the floor to a wing with tiny rooms. A little old man came by with a clip board to see if we wanted to "rent" the TV for $5 a day. I asked Pete, "Please could we?" And he agreed! All drinks had to be paid for, and there was not much room in the new room for visitors! How funny it was!

I remember when the young pediatrician came in at 4:00 am the next morning and fumbled with the light above my bed to tell me my baby was having seizures and how slick it was outside with ice on the roads. How could I go back to sleep after that? I cried and called people to pray as soon as it was polite.

I was scared. I wanted them to take Andrew and fix him and hand him back. I remember that so vividly. I did not want to feed him or hold him too long. I was so scared of him! Then I remember leaving with the flowers and gifts. A woman said she saw all of the baby stuff but where was the baby? I broke down and cried. Pete and I celebrated Andrew's first Christmas with him still in the hospital.

On the way to see him one day during that week, I decided I was his mother; and God sent him to ME to care for. We learned the seizures were toes "twitching", so they did not seem so scary then. He had lots of medicine (that he took for six months) but no more seizures after the first ones. Andrew had a male nurse named Joe with a dyed black comb over and a comb always sticking out of his back pocket. Joe knew I was scared with Andrew and would hand me Andrew, a bottle, and then he would walk away. I called Joe a few times at 2:00 am when we returned home with Andrew, and he spit up his medicine in the middle of the night.

We returned home to a furnace that had backfired. It was a mess - soot everywhere. But we lived through that and got the rooms repainted and had enough left over to get a new floor in the kitchen and new counter tops. Our house was little, so it did not cost much. I liked having some new, clean things, but I was so thankful to have my baby home. He had a soft yellow room with a border with magician's hats and bunnies. He had sweet soft clothes that Whitney and Dede had washed while I was on bed rest. Of course they had been rewashed after the furnace incident!

Fast forward almost two years later, and here came Peter! Peter taught Andrew to crawl on the couch, but Andrew told me when Peter almost scooted out of his car seat on the floor while I spoke to a doctor on the phone. Peter was always in a hurry to get somewhere! And then almost two years later came Will who always liked to play with Peter or follow his daddy around. And then seven years after that came Sam! And Andrew says he cannot remember our family before Sam was born.

Andrew prepared me well as the first child. He was obedient and calm and quiet and sweet. He was loved by everyone. He took good care of his brothers and played with them and was content to be with his family. He usually had one or two friends, but he liked being at home - just as he does now. He sat still in church and did not make a peep.

Things started popping up when he was one, then two, and then at three seemed to take right off. It has been one hurdle after another. And sometimes we hurdle some things more than once. Andrew still handles things in his quiet way and is obedient and reminds me of that little baby I so fiercely determined to care for during his scary first week.

I have been working on a poem/song for a long long time. I will post it when I am done. I keep adding and changing. I am so thankful for my child. I have had a couple of times when I have been literally scared out of my mind that he would be gone. I have seen such scary things that I never would have thought I could handle. But I think it goes back to that first week when God told me I am the one who is his mother. And I don't need to get in his way, but I need to care for him the best way I can - with God's help. And I am thankful for a husband who understands that. We cry together and pray together and believe together. And though we are not always on the same page, we can respect where each is and still do what is best at the time.

I am sad to see Andrew's high school years come to an end this year. But Andrew is different. They have been hard at times, a struggle. These have been some of the scariest years - and knowing when to let him go and when to hold on tight. So for Andrew, I am excited to see what is to come. I have had two different people in two very different years tell me of boys who seemed to "outgrow" their seizures in their late teens. That gives me hope as I realize that my hope sometimes has an expiration date (dumb, but I did realize that with some things). And hope does not expire. I am thankful for the teachers, coaches, and friends he has had during this time. Some of them have known him since he was so little and cheer him on and pray for him constantly.

Happy Birthday to my super duper special boy! I thank God for the opportunity and privilege it is to be his mom!!!!!

And please join me in continuing to pray for him to be wholly and completely healed of known and unknown things. And for him to grow in the way the Lord has for him.

One more update to "Rough day"

Andrew has done okay this weekend. He has rested a lot ~ just what he needed. He studied a lot today for his exams and did okay with his infusion. He bled a lot, so the couch cushion cover is soaking! And it took way too long, but at least it's done for another week.

Sam is doing better, it seems. He has a new pen for his insulin and a new back-up ordered. He looks a little bit better colorwise.

Peter did some Christmas shopping over the weekend ~ I know because he was asking for wrapping materials. Will helped the neighbor put up Christmas lights and hunted and studied for his English EOC. We had a long discussion about apostrophes. It's a tough one, but he did get the correct form of pronouns. That is a great grammar ear! I could be a grammar teacher and would love to keep on learning it - there is so much I don't remember, but it's fun to me!

Pete's uncle died unexpectedly yesterday, so he will be going to the funeral on Tuesday in Charlotte. We are sad for the family, especially this time of year. And Pete's dad also lost his oldest sister to cancer earlier this year. We are praying for all of them. It will be a tough Christmas for all of them as they miss their loved ones.

Thanks for checking on Andrew!

Update to "Rough day"

We saw Dr. Adams a little bit ago, and he called in an antibiotic - the last one we used last time he was sick that seemed to work. Since antibiotics are way overused, we have to look for just the right one to help. Andrew has not overused them though! Because he heard some crackling sounds in Andrew's lungs, we are being safe with him.

He is resting right now. He was able to eat a good lunch. And we are making him drink a lot of Gatorade (per someone else's shared wisdom). Hopefully, this will be a fast recovery. He has a lot to do this week and a birthday to celebrate!

Sam is doing okay. He has a bad batch of test strips, so we have had to prick his poor little fingers way more than we should. He is resting too. Last night he was good to check on Andrew and cover him up on the couch.

Thanks for all of the prayers! We need them!

Rough Day

Please pray for Andrew. He had a rough afternoon and ended up not making it to Liberty University to the meet he has really looked forward to running in this weekend. He is home now - I picked him up in Wilkesboro. The team turned around and ate at the new Chick-fil-A so he could rest and wait for me.

Thanks. I just talked to Sam's doctor's office in Charlotte and changed some of his stuff yet again. He just does not feel or look good a lot. So I thought we would be on a better track this weekend. This all came out of the blue with Andrew. I saw him after school to get his computer, and I remember thinking how good he looked today. And I know he is so disappointed. I know I am.

I had my little fit and cried "It's not fair" many times before calming down on my drive there. I thought I was "running on empty" earlier this week, so I am not sure what I am running on now. I am trying to keep looking up. I know I will. It's just hard to keep getting off track - in so many ways. I have really been encouraged by Casting Crowns' new CD "Come to the Well" - it talks about running on empty and coming to the well where He has already done all of the work and paid the price for us. I will write more on my blog this weekend - www.sixvandenbergs.blogspot.com so I won't clog up so many email accounts. I was going to write some funny stories of Christmases past. Maybe I will do that still.

Thanks for praying.


The Well (Casting Crowns)


Leave it all behind,
Leave it all behind,
Leave it all behind,
Leave it all behind,
I have what you need,
But you keep on searchin,
I've done all the work,
But you keep on workin,
When you're runnin on empty,
And you can't find the remedy,
Just come to the well.

You can spend your whole life,
Chasin what's missing,
But that empty inside,
It just ain't gonna listen.
When nothing can satisfy,
And the world leaves you high and dry,
Just come to the well

[CHORUS:]
And all who thirst will thirst no more,
And all who search will find what their souls long for,
The world will try, but it can never fill,
So leave it all behind, and come to the well

So bring me your heart
No matter how broken,
Just come as you are,
When your last prayer is spoken,
Just rest in my arms a while,
You'll feel the change my child,
When you come to the well

[CHORUS:]
And all who thirst will thirst no more,
And all who search will find what their souls long for,
The world will try, but it can never fill,
So leave it all behind, and come to the well
Yeah
Leave it all behind
The world will try, but it can never fill... leave it all behind

And now that you're full,
Of love beyond measure,
Your joy's gonna flow,
Like a stream in the desert,
Soon all the world will see that living water is found in me,
Cause you came to the well

[CHORUS:]
And all who thirst will thirst no more,
And all who search will find what their souls long for,
The world will try, but it can never fill,
So leave it all behind, and come to the well

Merry Christmas 2011!

It's hard to believe it's almost Christmas time again! The year just flew by!

We have so much for which to be thankful. And that is my thing to remember - counting my blessings. The same day my friend Paula reminded me of this recently, I also read about it in one of my devotionals. So no matter what comes, I can still see the blessings around me. When things tip over or tilt or seem scary or frustrating, I am still blessed. When I look at certain people, my life seems so hard. But when I look at others, my life does not seem quite so tough. I know God wants me to look at where I am and appreciate where I am and do my best where I am. So many things creep in and bother me and keep me from being what God wants me to be where I am. So I am trying not to let them creep in!

It's hard to believe Andrew is a senior this year! Andrew was diagnosed with a severe immune system deficiency in the spring. A pulmonologist asked to see his medical records last year and referred us to a new immunologist in Charlotte. That doctor saw Andrew in February and ran some tests. The test results were "alarming" he said. Andrew's labs were rerun a week later and came back the same. The doctor said that he has never seen someone up walking around with those numbers. Not only was Andrew up walking around, but he was going to school and running! We went to the children's hospital in Charlotte for his first IVIG treatment. Then we had a home health nurse to come and show us how to do the infusions at home once a week so we would not have to go monthly to get them - so he would not miss school. He has recently taken over the treatments that neither of us thought we would ever be able to do! The plan is to keep a check on his numbers which are hovering right near the normal range and try to go without the replacement in a year or two. We pray that this is the case. They want to diagnose him with CVID, but they cannot because he keeps not following the norm - which in this case is a huge blessing! He still fights some other issues, but he has done better. We just pray for the IVIG to be temporary and for him to grow! I think the growing would show that he is overcoming all his body has to fight and fight for.

Sam is doing well with his diabetes. He is sometimes up and down and, literally, all around. But he is cooperative, and we just keep trying. He has excellent care at school, and the boys still do a lot for him. It is tough and never ending, but he is accepting of it. He has some other issues that have not been defined, but we trust that they will go away after a while and not cause him any problems. He is growing and loves to watch his brothers run. He ran his first cross country race and won a medal in his age group! Will ran with him, and he loved it and kept asking when his next race would be. I am thankful he is healthy and can run!

Will is a freshman this year and was our third boy on the cross country team! He ran well and did well giving up his afternoons every day to practice. He still enjoys many things ~ hunting, working, biking, running, playing with Sam, visiting, and many others.

Peter is a junior and ran too, of course. He had some really good races, but I know he has some great ones in there still! He helps me a lot, but he also loves to spend time with his friends. He is very anxious to get his license soon!

We appreciate all of those who pray for our family and encourage us in so many different ways. We are truly blessed. Thanks! And Merry Christmas!

May the One whose birth we celebrate bring you the peace that only He can bring ~ from the sacrifices He made for each one of us! We pray that those who have not accepted His free (to us) gift of salvation will see clearly that they need it this season and will happily accept it!

Weekend Getaway!

We just got back (this evening) from a weekend getaway. Get away from what? Well, lots of things. The every day routine, the on and on responsibilities, the hurt feelings, the overwhelming things of every day life and life, the insurance company, the feelings of hopelessness, the weight of the world, the weariness that has set in...

But I did not want to just get away from my family! They were probably happy for a little break though!

I started off on Friday afternoon right after lunch. I borrowed Andrew's truck so I could leave my van at home and took off with my bag of weekend clothes and anticipation for a fun weekend. It was fun...but so much more.

On the winding road to Damascus, I listened to some Christmas music and then to Casting Crowns' new CD ~ Come to the Well. Well, that did me in. I heard the words of one song and just crumpled and cried off my little bit of make up! The song talked about all God has done for us, but we just keep on and on trying to do it ourselves. We can come to the well and get our thirst quenched, fill that empty spot, and be ready to be a spring in the desert. When he gave the analogy of a child needing rest, I realized that that is me! I know I am a child of God. I just have not been acting like one! I try to go it alone. I try to be brave and figure out and fix and be ahead and...I am so worn out. It was such a relief and such a weight off my shoulders. I felt tired but renewed. Exhausted but rejuvenated. I felt hopeful. I resolved to remember the feeling!

After leaving Bristol, we drove straight to Susan's new place on the river near Cookeville. It was beautiful - set out in the dark night, a light shining to welcome us. It's a resort. A retreat. A place where one could really talk to God without many distractions. Lisa worried about coyotes and Big Foot and whatever else comes out of the woods after dark, but I knew deep down she could feel the special atmosphere too. She did make me sleep closest to the door! (Because she knew I did not mind!).

After a great night's sleep - even after a "sound" woke up everyone but me, we had eggs, bacon, and toast in the picnic shelter that attaches the "place" to a massive stone fireplace. We had a fire to knock off the chill and enjoyed eating outside bundled in our pj's! It was so peaceful and restful, and we talked and laughed and caught up. We walked to the pump house and saw the pond and spring house. I kept sending pictures (until Russell politely requested no more since he has no texting in his plan - he needs to change that!).

Skipping the outdoor shower, we got ready in two bathrooms with stone and tile and authentic stone sinks with a faucet that looked like a pump off of Little House. Then we headed out for some fun. We went to the outlets in Lebanon looking for specific things on our list. I was so determined to find mine that I forgot to look at Stride Rite (if they had one!) for Sam's shoes! But I did find things I needed to make every day a little easier, and the other girls found some good and some spectacular deals. We left there and went on to Mt. Juliet when we ate at Chick-fil-A (a new favorite of Susan who heard about it from guess who ~ of course, Whitney). Then we shopped a little more and met up with a friend.

Then we took off for another adventure in Normandy. We went to Susan's friend's cafe where a live band was going to play. We ate there and met the very special owner who needs lots of special prayer this Tuesday as she gets some test results back. In the short time we were there, we knew we had met someone very unique and extra special. It was fun to sit at our table by the door and people watch before and during the show. If we were budding country music artists, we would have been pleased to know who was in the building with us, I am sure!

We drove back to the river and slept a good night again. Another breakfast outside watching the sun light dance off the swift river was restful. Bacon and eggs taste even better eaten outside! We got to spend a little more time with Susan and then drove pretty much straight home and back to our lives. But hopefully not back to those things mentioned in the first paragraph!

Sometimes we just need to change our scenery a little bit. We need to be able to look past what is right in front of us all of the time. We need to sometimes GET past those things. When I am tired, I hold on to more things that beat me down. I let my feelings get hurt easily. I worry more about things of concern...and every other thing. I don't make the best choices sometimes ~ not bad ones but ones that don't help me along on bad days.

Sometimes I feel like the storm has gone on for years. I feel like somewhere along the way I stopped waiting for it to pass and just braced myself to hold on and hold up during the storm. Since it never went away, I never moved on. I am going to try to move on - even in the storm. Reverend Thrasher sent me the message about being able to dance in the rain. Live in the storm. Keep going. Serve while waiting. Wait patiently on the Lord. He is my Father. He loves me in a way that cannot really be imagined. He gave His own Son for ME! He does care about my worries and struggles and wants to take the burden. All He asks is that I give it to Him. I am trying. I will try harder.

I am so blessed to have had such a weekend. I am so tired. I have so much to do this week. But I am going in with a new attitude.

Happy 20th Birthday ~ Katelyn Elizabeth Ball!

This is actually last year's post. I just read it and cried. But it says what I would want to say again. I am adding some song lyrics to the end. So this is a long one. Happy Birthday this weekend to my precious little tiny Katelyn Elizabeth Ball. Every day is one day closer to seeing her again (and those great grandparents mentioned in this post!). Thinking of the family and friends and praying that her life will still have a strong impact.

~~~~~~~~

I can remember it like it was just last week. I arrived at Forsyth Hospital in Winston where my sister was in labor with her first baby. She had found out about a month before that the baby was not growing and developing. We knew some of what could be, but we did not know much. I found her watching Little House on the Prairie while nurses hovered nearby and lots of doctors were readying to attend the birth. Because Katelyn was my sister's first baby, they really wanted to do everything they could for her and my sister. My dad would check on Whitney periodically, but he would turn a greenish color and have to leave. My aunt was begging my uncle for a cigarette, but he kept reminding her calmly that she had stopped smoking. I remember arriving, checking on Whitney and Dwayne, going to the Hanes Mall to eat (and not even being tempted to shop!) while we waited...and waited.

Then I fast forward to sitting in the hall straight up against a cinder block wall. Katelyn was there, and Whitney was fine. The doctors did not think that tiny baby would make it through the night. One of her pediatricians had mercy on Russell and me and invited us to say hi to Katelyn before they took her to Baptist just a little bit away. She was as long as a newborn because she was term, but she weighed less than three pounds. I remember yellow. Her hair or her skin. And I remember loving her with everything I had. And I remember how my arms ached so badly to hold her. Now I can grab one of the other children to hold when I feel that ache, but then there was no baby to hold. And we could not hold her. I am sure Russell and I prayed for her and over her. And that was one of the only times I was within an arm's length in her whole five weeks.

In the NICU, there are very strict rules with very good reason. Still, I drove to Stuart, VA, every weekend to spend time with Whitney and go with her to the hospital even though it meant sitting on the outside. I got a couple of glimpses, and Dwayne took some pictures. No digital cameras back then! And there is a video. I ached to hold this baby, see her, and get to know her. And somehow through the wall, I was able to do just that - get to know her through pieces of information and pictures.

She was supposed to have only part of a kidney. She had more than they thought. She scooted in her tiny bassinet. She scrunched her face and tried to hide from Santa Claus visiting the sick babies. In her little life, she did have personality and fight and determination. And oh was she loved.

My grandparents arrived one day to see her. My grandmother announced to my grandfather that she was going to see the baby - whether he took her or not. They totaled their very large (enormous really) Cadillac on the way to see her - in Cana, VA. It was a multi-car accident where one car stopped suddenly and several cars bumped into the back of each other. My grandparents had to rent a car half the size of theirs and continue on the trip. They got to go in and see her - because they were great grandparents and not just aunts. My grandmother came out and said of my sister, "Well, she has herself a real live baby doll." That meant so much to my sister.

Whitney and I would stop at Little Caesar's in Winston to treat ourselves to Crazy Bread before returning to their home way out in the country. Dwayne worked the night shift a lot, so Whitney appreciated the time I could come. While I was there one weekend with another friend, one of their two dogs came back shot. The other never returned. We searched all over the area where they lived and realized that no one cared if they shot someone else's dog - especially someone with a dying baby. It was a bleak, sad time. I was in charge of cleaning the bathroom when I was there. I put myself in that job. I cleaned that tub so much it's a wonder the finish did not come off. It's hard to know what to do with the energy and feelings and aches sometimes.

Dwayne and Whitney came to Bristol on Christmas Eve in 1991, intending to spend a little time with family and return to the hospital and Katelyn on Christmas Day. I remember the phone ringing in the wee hours of the morning. It was the hospital - no cell phones back then. They cared enough to know where to find them. Dwayne and Whitney rushed to Baptist. By the time we got there a little later, Katelyn was gone. I still remember every Christmas how that felt. Again, I can grab a child now and hold him or her; and for that, I am so thankful. I try to go and visit her grave on Christmas Eve so I can tell her I love her - even though I know she is not there. It's just a quiet place for reflection and to thank God for what He has given our family and blessed us with.

That time was a hard time in my life too. I took time off from my life the next few months and returned to school to start on a second degree. Thankfully, God worked out my own situation; and I returned to North Carolina and my own life that had seemed suspended for a few months. I remember people being so kind and helpful and thoughtful and supportive. And I still remember times of being so hurt by something someone said that I did not feel I could stand it. Sometimes I remember to keep my mouth closed. I would not want to cause that same pain and confusion for someone else. I appreciate those who quietly prayed for all of us and were there when we needed them - not just pretending to care but allowing God to use them to minister to and sustain our family.

I know one of God's tiniest angels. She slipped into our lives one cold night not meant to stay for long. And when it was time to go, she slipped out again. But she left us with something so hard to explain. In her short little life, she made such a huge impact. I cannot wait to see her again and hold her. I don't know what she will look like in Heaven, and I don't have to know. I just know I will see her, and I will know who she is!

Happy 19th Birthday to Katelyn Elizabeth Ball. Thank you for affecting my life in such a wonderful and loving way - even though it is not empty of hurt and pain. I love you so much, and I am so happy to know you are with the One Who loves us the most.


~~~~~
Even though it was indeed scary, her parents loved her without reservation. A lot of us did. And though it has been hard without her here, we have that HOPE that we will see her again. She is worth every falling tear ~ just as they all are!


All of Me (Matt Hammitt)

Afraid to love
Something that could break
Could I move on
If you were torn away

And I'm so close
To what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart
And pray He makes you whole

You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me
Is where I'll start

I won't let sadness
Steal you from my arms
I won't let pain
Keep you from my heart
I dread the fear
Of all that I could lose
For every moment
I'll share with you

You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me
Is where I'll start

And Heaven brought you to this moment
It's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me
You're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you
Even if I bleed
You're worth all of me
You're worth all of me

You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me
Is where I'll start

You're gonna have all of me
Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me
Is where I'll start
It's where I'll start

State Meet!

Well...I made it through the whole day without crying (because it was Andrew's last state meet in cross country!). I did not even think to cry. He ran so well for the first 2/3 of the race! He looked like himself - very strong and passing people right and left. The last bit got him, but he still ran a great time with a solid place. For those things I am very thankful. Peter had a great race. It was not his greatest, but he was 8th in the 4A State; so he did well! He is growing and learning and figuring things out!

I ran to the finish when I saw Andrew struggling at the end, but he did not need me. I went with him to get water, and I thought how much I appreciate that he does not want attention, does not bring attention to himself, and just matter of factly goes on about his life. I learn from him but also feel it's my place to "help" his perspective sometimes when he is a little hard on himself.

I don't know if any cross country boys' parents read this, but if you know them, please pass this on. Today, the boys (some graduated!) helped the girls...again. Earlier in the season, I was working at the finish line and asked one of the boys to run some water over to one of our girls who had a hard time at the finish. When I turned around a couple of minutes later, many of our Watauga boys were handing water to ALL of the girls in the finish chute - not just from WHS. I was so proud of them. I did not tell them to do that - they came up with it on their own! And today we had some girls have tough finishes. One took off his shirt so one could lie down on the patch of grass near the mud. Another got water for the girls. They were very good about checking on them. I am so proud of how they act!

Foot Locker is the Saturday after Thanksgiving! Brings back all of those Kinney Meet memories!

New Numbers!!!

Andrew's new IgG numbers are GREAT! He is at 932. I have no clue yet about his other labs, but we were so excited to see these. Just like anyone else with limited knowledge, I tend to simplify things a bit; but these numbers are great! And we are so thankful. This is the number that started out at 187, and they wanted him over 800! And now I think the goal is over 1000 and to hold there. We want Andrew to NOT follow the path these doctors expect but to get the boost he needs and be able to stop treatment in a year or so. Although the doctor is not as optimistic, he is positive; and he is sometimes surprised. But I am glad that Dr. Black (the pulmonologist) told me that some of his patients have had treatment for a while and then stopped.

Andrew does a great job. All I do is literally watch him to make sure he gets all of the medicine drawn up and peel the back off of the patches that cover the needles during treatment. And I do the inventory. He does ALL of the rest now. I am so proud of him for stepping up and doing it. It's not easy nor fun at all. And I remember when our neighbor, Dr. Cranston, came over to watch us do it alone the first time. He told Andrew soon he would do it himself, and Andrew was skeptical! We plan our Sunday afternoons/evenings around this, but some people actually do it more than once a week.

He fell down a hill today running after tripping over a rock. He is skinned up pretty badly - mostly on his torso. His knee is really stiff, so we have put moist heat on it. I am just so glad he did not hit his head or face! He said he knew that was what I would say. We are checking on a tetanus shot, and I hope he is not really hurt - just sore and stiff. They have Regionals Saturday in Charlotte, so today was not a good day to trip!

Sam is doing fine. We have had to change some things again, but he is waking up with good numbers now; and that is a relief. I sleep better! He keeps asking when HIS next cross country meet is ~ "You know, Mommy, for first graders." He has offered to take his pink whistle he got from the treasure box in the office at school to a meet to help Coach Mac. And he likes to wear the Watauga t-shirt we got at the neighbor's yard sale so everyone will know he is "a Watauga guy."

Thanks for praying for us! And thanks for asking about the boys. I have "run" into many people lately I have not seen in a very long time, and those run-ins have been a big encouragement, if not a treat sometimes! I have also had some things out of the blue that were so sensitive, compassionate, or just nice! I know God is reassuring me that He knows when I am faltering, and He reminds me in all kinds of ways that He will help. I just need to keep my eyes open!

If you have not heard Natalie Grant's new song, it is beautiful. I will put the words below. (The part about the enemy in the first verse is one of my favorite parts!) Thanks again!!!!




Your Great Name (Natalie Grant)

Lost are saved; find their way; at the sound of Your great name
All condemned; feel no shame, at the sound of Your great name
Every fear; has no place; at the sound of Your great name
The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of Your great name

[Chorus:]
Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man
You are high and lifted up; and all the world will praise Your great name

[Verse 2:]
All the weak; find their strength; at the sound of Your great name
Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of Your great name
The fatherless; they find their rest; at the sound of Your great name
Sick are healed; and the dead are raised; at the sound of Your great name

[Chorus:]
Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man
You are high and lifted up; and all the world will praise Your great name

[Bridge:]
Redeemer, My Healer, Lord Almighty
My savior, Defender, You are My King

[Chorus:]
Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man
You are high and lifted up; and all the world will praise Your great name

Andrew & Sam appointments

I am sorry I have not updated this in a little bit. I have tried to put more information on the blog.

Andrew had his immunologist appointment today in Charlotte. I think their computers were down. We gave more info than we received. His tests from this summer came back as inconclusive, so we are repeating them. We will get some lab results like his IgG number next week. I am anxious to see these numbers - to make sure the treatments are working, he is responding, and will continue to hold the high numbers. Even though I am anxious, I am constantly praying. I am reading a Max Lucado book that had a chapter about worry. Even though I need to remember to pray constantly and more when I tend to worry, reading that chapter in the pick up line the other afternoon made me see it just a little differently while reminding me of what I already know! We are also running some other tests to make sure some things are not slipping by. I pray they will be helpful and hopeful!

Andrew is doing better. He ran the conference meet yesterday and was third with a pretty good time. It was not his best time, but he looked his best of the whole year. He looked relaxed and not like he could just fall over. This was coming off a pretty good run Saturday in Richmond. We hope he can end his senior year of cross country well. He has worked so hard. And for those who knew what to pray and when to pray it about that Richmond trip ~ thanks so much! He did fine and had a really good time. Both things he needed! And with all of that, we are especially appreciative for the boys' great cross country coaches who help us in so many ways!

Sam had his endocrinology appointment last week. He has had strep throat twice in the past few weeks ~ even though we have not had to deal with strep much at all before! His numbers have been high, and they attributed that to his illness; but he has been off at other times. So his a1c was a little bit higher but not bad. But it is frustrating to try so hard to be on top of things and still not see the numbers he needs! So we changed his Lantus (24 hour insulin) quite a bit and then changed it a little again hoping to find where the adjustment needs to be! He is waking up with better numbers, and his others are better but not as good as they were several weeks ago. Otherwise, he is good. He was PE Student of the Week the other week, and a more proud, puffed up little person you would never see! He also ran his first 1.5 mile cross country race on Tuesday and won a medal -getting second in the first graders. Coach Mac let Will run with him, so he did have an advantage of knowing where to go (even though he had plenty of children to follow!) and knowing not to run too fast too soon! He was nervous and did not want to run (which is why Coach let Will run with him), but afterwards he wanted to know when "his" next race would be. When we went to the conference meet yesterday, he said he did not bring his shoes ~ I guess thinking he was running again!

We are thankful he is healthy and loves to get exercise! That will serve him well!

Thanks for all of the prayers, checking on the boys, cards, notes of encouragement, sharing of special verses, CD's, talks, calls, emails, etc. We appreciate it all. My mom and Laura picked up Sam today (and later Peter and Will). And my dad went to Charlotte with us. It was special to have that time with him. We usually get to have a long long talk while delivering Christmas gifts, but we got in four hours of good talking today!

Have a great rest of the week!

Wendi

Nights like these...

Nights like these are hard. I have checked and rechecked everyone several times but still cannot settle down now to sleep. Maybe a Murder, She Wrote DVD will help!

In the night when it's so quiet, I sometimes feel more peaceful even during turmoil than I do during the day. Things finally calm down and are quiet. I can hear ~ if I listen.

I am trying to listen. I know that I appreciate things that God does more because of where He's brought me from - in so many ways.

Nights like these can be scary. I don't want to fall asleep and not be where I am needed. And it's scary to wake up and run and check on everyone because it's been a few or several hours since we did. So far so good though.

Andrew's head is cooler. Sam's numbers are still in the 100's. Peter and Will are long asleep. Pete will be home tomorrow night. I think maybe I can sleep now too. I have already prayed for them all. And I trust I will wake up if needed. Thanks for praying too.

Andrew ~ and Sam 10/6/11

Andrew felt so awful at school today that I took him for a strep test this evening - even hoping maybe he had strep to explain him feeling this way. But it was negative, so he went to bed ultra early. I woke him up a bit ago to give him Tylenol - he seemed hot. Fevers do not do well with him.

Sam is sleeping in my bed. He has strep...again! He seems to be running a fever now, but his blood sugar had dropped for a while but came back up to the 100's. He did not feel well at the end of school, so I took him for a strep test even though he rarely has had it! But he did have it two weeks ago! His numbers have been off - very high or very low. Anyway, he did test positive. He came home and rested but then threw up and went very low. Then he had a nose bleed - a scary sight with the bright blood on a very pale, grayish child. We did the Gatorade every 10 minutes, and now he is sleeping. I am sure I will touch him, and he will just hold out a finger to be pricked. Poor little person!

I went with Sam on a field trip yesterday, but I drove my car. I went to make sure he was okay with his diabetes. I listened to my new The Story CD on the way down the mountain and back up. The song about Abraham and Sarah got my attention. Nichole Nordeman wrote or co-wrote the songs. They have OT and NT Bible characters and songs sung by a lot of my favorite singers. Anyway, the one about Abraham and Sarah struck me because God can and will do things on His time table. I was thinking of Andrew and his growing frustration. I don't blame him a bit, but I want him to realize that God can do the "undoable". When Toby talked about storms Sunday, I really needed that; but I realized that my children are in their own storms now, and it's hard to watch! I pray that God will give Andrew peace about what he has to do right now and give him peace about the future. It's tough.

Thanks for praying for my boys!

All About Ben ~ Updates

Sorry! I tried to post these before, but they would not post! Ben is much better, and we most certainly appreciate all of the prayers. I don't think he remembers the accident much, but he knows how bad off he was; and I am sure he is very thankful he got the fast help he did.

Ben ~

Andrew and Sam (and Peter and Will) are having a good week so far. We continue to so appreciate the prayers and encouragement with their stuff. I flooded the altar Sunday, and my resolve this week is to keep looking up. In a way, it's hard; but in another way, it is so easy (when I remember that first!). Poor little Laura got to hear a lot about it on our trip to the hospital in Bristol last night. She heard some of my greatest fears involving my boys and what I need to do to overcome the fear. We were both a little emotional as we headed to see Ben, but we were doing the same thing I am doing for my boys ~ turning him over to God.

My nephew Ben was in an accident right after school yesterday in the locker room. He fell from the top of the lockers face first to the tile floor below. They were not sure anything broke his fall, but something may have. He was not responsive, so 911 was called. Because he had a head injury, they med flighted him to the hospital. There was a lot of blood, and it was very scary for everyone there. We are thankful for all of the help he had.

His CT was okay, but he may have a fractured sinus cavity. He seemed to hit more on one side, so his nose is fine. He has a big gash with stitches over one eye. He will have to have some teeth repaired. And he will be very sore with at least a huge bruise on his shoulder. He was feeling very sick last night, but he seemed to be much better when he wasn't trying to talk to everyone. He was going to go home, but there seemed to be concern about his short term memory; so they kept him to watch him overnight. He could not remember the accident or the flight or why he was there. He would ask Dwayne, again, if he had fallen out of the bed. And Dwayne would tell him in simple terms what happened. So my prayer last night and this morning is that he is back to himself and remembers what he is told. He may not ever remember the accident or flight, but it sure would make me feel better if he remembers this morning what his dad told him last night!

We are so thankful. He is one beaten up boy. And I wanted to just hug him and cry. But with all of the teenage visitors, family, and Laura, I couldn't! This could have been so much worse. I am praying for his friends and the others who saw him. They were pretty shaken up.

Laura and I prayed for Ben on the way to Bristol. We also prayed for everyone around him at the hospital - that they were either Christians or would somehow be touched by what happened to see the difference in the way something like this is handled. Then I thought last night about all of the high school students who saw this play out and asked God to somehow use this to draw them close to Him.

Thanks again for all of your prayers. Most of you know Ben (who is almost 17), and I wanted to let you know what happened. I will send a quick update later today when I know how he is!

Update:

I saw Ben last Thursday, and he was still not himself; but he was getting better. He still had headaches and dizziness. Peter saw him today and thought he seemed fine. We are still so thankful that he got better so quickly and avoided a horrible outcome. We appreciate the prayers. He had many before we knew he would probably be okay.

Ben is 17 tomorrow, and we will be celebrating his birthday and his recovery! Thanks again for all of the prayers!

Old Post ~ Friday, September 9th

This is from Friday, September 9 ~

Please pray for Andrew today. He had a terrible night. He is exhausted - we all are. He is resting right now, and he has had a small bit of food and some liquids. He is pretty weak, but he should be okay after some rest.

Thanks. We appreciate the prayers so much. I was able to talk to him for just a little bit about doing what we need to do in the moment; and even though it seems like it will be forever, God knows the plans for Andrew's life and holds them in His hand. I needed the reminder just as much as Andrew. We were talking about medications for him, but we were talking about so much more.

Last night, I was so tired. I had just come home from laughing and crying at Jan's funeral. And if you knew Jan, you know what that means. It was an emotional night; but it was also a celebration of her life, a reminder that there is an eternity (and where do we want to spend it), catching up and hugging and loving on friends I have not seen in forever, and coming together with many to support and uplift her family in their time of great grief. At least that is what I got from it. And then I came home to Andrew having a horrible time. I don't mean to be vague, but I know you don't need details to pray; and he is a teenager who needs to know that I don't share every single thing about his life. But this scares me so badly because I know he could die. So I was looking at that last night; and after he got settled the first time, this song kept running through my head:

Still I Will Trust You (Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir)

I've climbed a mountain, I've walked a valley low,

and there's a hand guiding me where to go.

So I cannot question when storm clouds come my way,

for I have placed my trust in You, and You alone.

Still I will trust You, Still I will follow

Still I will listen to Your every calling.

While the storm it rages on, and I can't find my way,

Still I will trust You, Lord.

When in my dark hour, You restored my weary soul.

You led me to that resting place and made me whole.

So I cannot question, though stormy billows roll,

My faith is secure, safe is my trust in You alone.

Still, I will trust You, Still, I will follow.

Still I will listen to Your every calling.

While the storm, it rages on, and I can't find my way,

Still I will trust You, Lord. Yes,

I will trust You, I will follow, to Your every calling.

While the storm it rages on, and I can't find my way,

I will trust, You, Lord. I will trust You, Lord.

It was "Still I Will Trust You." It just kept going on and on. And though we were up several times, I was able to keep getting up. And though we were scared, we were able to do what we needed to do. Because He was right in the storm with us. And it's not easy, but it's much easier than trying to do any of this without Him. And we also were not expecting this, so Andrew was right with us where he needed to be - not in his room alone with no help. And I have gotten to the place where I do not check on him every single night and multiple times on most of those nights, so please pray we will check when we need to and can rest and let him rest.

Thanks again. I will let you know how he does this weekend.

Love,

Wendi

Andrew - Please keep praying!

Andrew goes back to the immunologist in October. He is doing okay, but he is not running anywhere near his best times. We want him to be better and healthy, but it's a killer to see him struggling so when he runs.

I flooded the altar at church this morning with tears. I carry a lot of worry about these guys that I give over to God and promptly take back. Things bother me so much. I want to give Andrew his independence, but I also need to keep taking care of him. I keep praying but need to stay more and more and more in God's word to show me what to do and how to wade through these waters with him. It's overwhelming. I cry because he does not have what I want him to have. He cannot do what I think he deserves to do right now. It hurts. It hurts my heart and my gut. And it pops up a lot - the hurt, the fear, the pain. So I need to keep remembering to turn it over. God knows Andrew better than even I do. He knows what He has in store for Him. So I need to trust more too.

So after I left the altar today, I resolved to do better ~ to let God do what He does. And to trust and try to have the peace that He CAN give.

I talk about Andrew all of the time. He would fall over if he knew how much! But he does appreciate prayers and concerns. He just does not want attention for his illnesses. He doesn't mind a little for a great race. He ran about a minute slower Saturday than he did earlier in the season, but he kept going. He did not drop out and blame it on a cold or a hurt leg. He did what he could even though he was disappointed. I don't think he was embarrassed, but I know he is disappointed.

Now if I were in the hospital with Andrew trying to fight pneumonia, I would be happy if he could go to school and may not even think about running. But, thankfully, we are not. He is living his life, and I just want him to be able to do some things he enjoys. He does not require a lot. He would not even let me get him something for lunch Saturday. He was worn out, but he did not want any special attention! He does not get that from me!

Thanks for praying for Andrew - for his health and his goals. We still would love to see him shoot up out of all of his clothes. I do know one thing for sure right now. The absolute worst thing to say to me in passing is that being short is not so bad! No, it's not. But I have worked and prayed for 14 years for Andrew to be where he should be and am not giving up yet. I want to, but I cannot. So please pray for that. I think if he could shoot up, it would take care of some other issues too.

Thanks again! Have a great fall week!

Happy 16th to Peter!

Peter turned 16 today! It was a low key day, and we did not even eat his cake today! Grandad and Mimi brought a cake yesterday, and Whitney brought yummy sugar cookies with icing today; so his black and gold ASU chocolate cake will have to wait until tomorrow evening! He enjoyed opening a few gifts and getting some money for running shoes and his bank account. No wrapping paper with polka dots or zoo animals or farm scenes this year for Peter! And while he is working on his driving, he will have his learner's a little longer. He is also saving for a car like Andrew did!

I remember when he was born. I was talking to a resident, and all of the sudden the nurse jerked an oxygen mask from somewhere and put in on my face when Peter's heart rate decreased. He was born by c-section a little while later while his daddy and his Aunt Whitney, suited up in gowns, watched. Finally, Pete came over to me and told me he was a boy and looked just like Andrew. Well, he had the first part right. I tried and tried to slick down his little hair when he was a baby. How was I to know how beautiful that hair was if I would just leave it alone? I finally figured that out, and today we can spot Peter earlier in the race by his hair rather than the color of his uniform!

Peter was so good for Andrew. He taught Andrew to climb up on the couch. He showed Andrew how to make bigger bubbles in the tub. He made Andrew laugh! They were such great buddies and so close! They are still very close though each has his own interests. But they are always there for each other!

Peter was always such a great little preschool person. He included everyone who wanted to be included in what he did. If they were building something, which he was always doing, he would ask they wanted to help with this part or that. He included everyone and showed great leadership potential. He loved to play in one corner next to the driveway at one rental house with his bulldozer and dump truck. As long as no one touched those two toys while he was playing with them, he was fine. He took up for himself but was not an instigator. If a bigger child tried to take Peter's stuff, he would hang on for dear life and not let go. He was not one to be trampled on. We are excited to see what God has in store for him using these characteristics as he gets older!

Happy Birthday to Peter! We love you so much! And we are so proud of your race Saturday ~ setting a course record! We cannot wait to see you run next week!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Will turned 14 on September 4, and I missed the blog!!!! Will was born while we lived in Davidson ~ though he was born in Bristol, TN ~ long story! He lived in the living room of a little rental house there and then occupied a small space in our bedroom in an apartment when we moved back to Boone! I remember when we moved into an adorable rental house, and he had his own room. He was almost one, and he started sleeping so much better! And so did we!

Will was always building. He was a tiny baby when Pete started renovating the HP house. Then he worked with his daddy on the new house. He loves to hunt, bike, fish, boat, run, ride on anything, and run heavy duty equipment! Will will be something big!

Will is my number one babysitter for Sam ~ even though he does not love the title. He kept him for me in the mornings this summer while I worked. He took great care of him until he graduated from HP last year. Will is one to get things done - if he wants to!

He is running cross country this fall and has done well - running many PR's. He was sick last week, so we will see how he does Saturday on a fast course.

Happy Late 14th Birthday to Will! We love you and thank you for all you do for us!

Good Week this week!

So far we are having a good week! Pete is out of town all week for training for work. Sam's strep that made him very sick Friday and Saturday is getting better. It's amazing what a bite here and a sip there with lots of prayer and a few grapes will do for low blood sugar. Will's strep test today was negative, but he got some good rest today after I picked him up early from school. Andrew and Peter are doing well.

Today marks two years with diabetes in our family. It's ironic that I visited the ICU at WMC to check on someone today, and I almost got lost going back to the elevators. It's been a little while! Yet, I can still remember sitting in that chair. I was so tired. Every time I closed my eyes when things were calm...the diabetes educator would appear. I began to dread to see her coming. It's hard to learn when you are overwhelmed and exhausted. But we had to do it. I still remember when one of my dear friends from work came by to bring Sam some goodies. She was there to see me check his bsl for the first time. Sam and I both cried! I remember when Pete texted me late one night to say he had given Sam his first shot with the syringe. And yes, we came home with a vial of insulin and tiny syringes! Pens are the best invention ever! I remember all of the visitors Sam had during the day. And I know I missed a lot when I went home at night. What a few days! So thankful to be on this side! We could not have done it without all of the prayers, help, encouragement, and support! I remember wanting badly to rewind back to the week before and have more time without diabetes. I would still give it back if we could. But I am thankful for all of the new things available to make life better with this disease.

Andrew is doing well. We just went over some of his AP History information for a test tomorrow. I kept thinking, "YES!" when he was telling me the difficult information off his notes. He has struggled so much with remembering what he studies, and I know things are so much different now. I am so happy about this! It seems his little brother may be having some of the same struggles earlier, so I hope we can figure that out soon. And Andrew just applied to Appalachian! He is excited, and we need to go over his information from the college fair to see what to do next. I tread carefully with this. As an Admissions person for 20+ years, I know most of what to do; but we are taking our time and doing what he needs. We got his senior proofs today. Laura and I both said we could not believe it at the same time ~ even though she was doing this last year!

So September 20th is an anniversary of sorts for us but also a time to be thankful. September 22nd was much worse, but everyone made it through that night too! It is amazing to look back and see what He has done in our lives.

Charles Stanley was talking about salvation tonight on WMIT (I think). He was talking about our individual gifts of salvation. Whatever stands in the way of us accepting that gift individually will not be a "good enough" excuse when we stand before Him. I keep thinking of everything we try to figure out and put into our "boxes" so we can believe. Does it matter that we don't understand everything? I have figured out (by now) that we do not have to - and we cannot anyway. How in the world can I ever think my mind can even begin to understand all of the good and wonderful things (and also the impossible to understand horrible things)? One of the boys has had to study another religion in one of his classes and said it was "too deep." He was telling me some of it and said he got lost. No wonder! Sometimes we try so hard to explain away the simple gift opting for something difficult and complex. But Charles Stanley reminded me how simple it is and how personal and how wonderful tonight.

Thanks again for everything!

Love,

Wendi

Sam is 7!

My little, tiny, precious boy is seven! I cannot believe it, and it seems no one else can either! He is enjoying his time in the first grade, and he is ready to work hard this year to overcome some obstacles thrown in his way.

He is such a joy. He is so full of love, and he loves to hug and kiss on the whole family. He hugged Will's soaking wet head Saturday after his cross country race, and it was so sweet. He was telling Will he loved him and was proud of him.

I was telling Sam about the day he was born last night as he and Peter lay in bed. I told him about deciding on his name on the way to the hospital and how Peter was the first brother to hold him - and hold back tears at the same time. From the moment that child was born, he has been loved fiercely by his brothers.

When he got glasses, they were worried someone would laugh at him. And they told me what they would do when someone did! When he had his eye surgery and then his hernia surgery a month later, they were there to comfort him and help keep him quiet. When he had trouble talking, they encouraged him and ran to get whatever he needed whether he could say it well or not! And when he was diagnosed with diabetes, they took the news almost as hard as Pete and I did. They had lots of questions and concerns for their precious little brother. So they have all learned to care for him. They check his blood sugar, they give shots, they count carbs, they figure ratios, they do it all!

They cheer him on in life. He loves them like they are his heroes, and they love him like he is the greatest thing ever.

It's a little odd to have a senior and then one just in the school door. But I think it balances out. While the time goes way too quickly whether they are in preschool or high school, these boys will always have each other. I am so thankful God gave them to us for a while.

Happy Birthday to Sam! We love you! And we are so thankful for you!

Run! Run! As fast as you can!

Tomorrow three Vandenberg boys will run in the Clash of the Classes here in Boone. They run a shorter race beginning with freshmen ~ 8 races in all. Sam and I will be there to help. We are excited to see their first meet of the season - Will's first season and Andrew's last high school season. Here we go.

I am rejoicing in Andrew's independence as he drives more and more. It's good for him, and I am thankful for it. But I know this year will fly by too quickly. Just last week, he was sick again. And that makes me feel desperate to get him better. This is it for high school...but not for life.

I want my children to know they are loved. I want them to know they are special. I want them to know most of all that God wants them with Him for eternity. And I want them to be so accepting and grateful that they want to bring others along with them. I want them to invest in eternity ~ not earthly things. I want them to be responsible and respected here so they can be lights for the One who gives eternal life.

So I don't want everything to be about them. I don't want them to crave attention for themselves. I want them to do well in school, run well, and feel the excitement of a job well done. And then I want them to bow their heads and give thanks and credit where it's due.

I don't want them to be known for themselves but rather for the One who is allowed to shine through them.

Tomorrow, we will be cheering on lots of runners in the cross country races. We hope they have something to rejoice over, and we pray they will praise God for what He does in their lives ~ even a good race or run.

A quick update!

Thanks for asking about Andrew this week ~ but most of all for the prayers. He is on another antibiotic, and he is no worse. He has been able to run, so that is good enough for him! And he has enjoyed school this week, so he must not be miserable during the day. I am thankful for a new school with air conditioning. Although we will have to keep watching him and make sure he gets totally better, I am also thankful he is not worse as he continued to get last week. All I know this week is we cannot give up. We just keep giving it over to God and letting Him take care of it. And I have to watch my attitude and my frustration. But He knew that and gave me a radio show to listen to...

The woman was on Focus on the Family, and I only caught part of it. She was talking about parenting and "overparenting" and "underparenting" ~ and she had great points for each. On one side, she talked about children who never saw their parents while they served as pastors or missionaries; and she talked about balancing and how there was no specific formula. I think she was directing people to look at what God has for them instead of getting caught up and forgetting their family. And then she talked about how she used to pray for her children. And then she realized and remembered they are on loan to her. That one struck me most. I always want my children to feel special and loved, but I don't want them to think they are "better" than everyone else. I have tried to help them be empathetic and not strive to have focus on them. For any accomplishments, I want their lives to point to Him. But I have prayed for certain things for them, thinking that is how I should pray. But as the years have gone on, I realize my own prayers have changed so much. I don't want them to have to go through things, but they will. So I want to remember to pray that they keep their eyes on God ~ no matter what or where they are. And when we go through frustrating or difficult times, they won't be as focused on the time as they will on Who will help them through. That is the goal, of course. I fail all of the time, but it makes all of the difference when I remember to put my focus back on Him and not my circumstances!

So instead of being frustrated (which I have been again recently!) and worn down, I have once again been reminded to keep looking at Him. I don't know why my eyes drop or fall down so quickly, but they do often. I am thankful for the reminders placed before me.

I love Nichole Nordeman's music. I heard part of a new song on the radio one morning while Peter was driving us to work. So my full attention was not on the song! It's about Ruth and Naomi but can also represent a lot of relationships God gives us to help on here on this earth. I am thankful for all of the ones He has put in my path to help me.

Please remember a dear family at home with a family member who will probably be meeting Jesus face to face soon. They have been so much on my heart and my mind. I know a lot of you know Wendell and Wanda and Brittany and Shannon. They are leaning on Him, and I know they appreciate all of your prayers.

Have a great weekend. And thanks again for the prayers for our family. Peter and Will had a good first week too. Sam is checking his bsl in the office before lunch, and he is doing a great job along with the team of people helping him. We are thankful for all of them too!!!!



I'm With You (Nichole Nordeman)


Love is a hurricane in a blue sky,
I didn't see it coming, never knew why,
All the laughter and the dreams, all the memories in between, washed away in a steady stream.
Love is a hunger, A famine in your soul.
I thought I planted beauty, but it would never grow.
Now I'm on my hands and knees, trying to gather up my dreams, trying to hold on to anything.
We could shake our fists in times like this when we don't understand or we could just hold hands.

(Chorus)
You and me , Me and you, Where you go I'll go too, I'm with you, I'm with you,.
Till your heart finds a home, I won't let you feel alone, I'm with you , I'm with you, with you.

You do your best to build a higher wall.
To keep love safe from every wrecking ball.
When the dust is cleared you will see the house that love rebuilt, guarding beauty that lives here still.

(Chorus)
It's you and me , Me and you, Where you go I'll go too, I'm with you ,I'm with you.
Till your heart finds a home, I won't let you feel alone, I'm with you, I'm with you.

Who can say I'm left with nothing?
When I have all of you, all of you, yeah.
In the way you've always loved me.
I remember. He does too.

(Chorus)
It's you and me, Me and you, Where you go I'll go too, I'm with you, I'm with you.
Till your heart finds a home, I won't let you feel alone, I'm with you, I'm with you.
Me and you are gonna make it through me and you.
I'm with you, I'm with you, with you.

Andrew

Please pray for Andrew. He is on two inhalers and breathing treatments and started another round of antibiotics that Dr. Adams called in today. His cough is worse, and he was rattling pretty good at church this morning. I asked Carla to use my non-stethoscope method to hear his wheezing. I have learned I can hear from putting my ear to his back and making him take deep breaths. His hip is still bothering him, and he tried to swim in the ASU pool Friday; but it was closed for renovations. It felt a little better today. He has been riding the bike in the house and can somehow log quite a few miles. I get really bored after 15 minutes!

He also had trouble with the needles again tonight. I told him that the medicine would expire before we got started! He laughed but just could not seem to do it. But after we finally got him started, his treatment only lasted two hours and twenty minutes instead of the three it has taken recently. So that is much better than last week!

He could use some encouragement, so we plan on going to the pool for the afternoon tomorrow. They start school Thursday, and I still cannot believe he is a senior! He has been driving his truck quite a bit more the last two weeks, so he is ready to drive everyone to the high school!

I met with Sam's teachers Friday, and we are excited for him to begin first grade. They are great, and we appreciate their willingness to learn about Sam and his diabetes. And I am thankful his other "helpers" are excited to see him in the office. He has such great people to take care of him at school ~ many, many people.

Thanks for the prayers!

Just before school starts...

Andrew just got back home yesterday...with a cough. He already has something in his right lower lung - a sound! He was great last Monday! I feel so sick! And he is frustrated. But Dr. Adams listened to him today. I called Dr. Patel's office and relayed what Dr. Adams heard, and they put him on a specific antibiotic today. If he is not a lot better by Wednesday, they want me to take him in again. On top of that, his hip is really hurting; and he cannot run. He is frustrated about that too, but he got some stretches from the trainer tonight. It's hard to watch him work so hard all summer to start school like this. But I reminded him that his races have not started so he has a great base and a little time to get better.

He had senior orientation tonight! Wow! He is taking a tougher load of classes, and I finally let him take some of the level he has wanted to take. He was able to do well last year and did not miss many days. It made me nervous with them on a block schedule and with so many snow days to take certain courses. He is excited about this year and cannot wait to see his friends though he has already said he misses those who graduated ~ there were some great ones!

Peter has orientation tomorrow and Will on Thursday. Then Sam and I have a meeting before school starts. I cannot believe it is August, and school starts next week! I am thankful for all of those doctor appointments that are out of the way.

Thanks so much for the prayers. Andrew has had a harder time with needles on the weekends too. I have too and had to put them all in this last time. I think it's a delayed reaction and also partly because he does not have much fat ~ so literally not much wiggle room! We used longer needles, but the treatment still took three hours exactly. I guess in the back of my mind I am concerned that it may not work at some point. So please pray that they become easier instead of more difficult and that he can do them easily and not think about them as much. Neither of us look forward to doing it on the weekends, and I guess it is wearing on us a bit. More on him, and I try to be upbeat; but Andrew is very straightforward.

Thanks again! Have a great week!

Wendi

The Last Winnie the Pooh

In the midst of the storms, time is flying by. I am aware of it and try to cherish each day accordingly, but sometimes things still sneak up on me. Some days I am grumpy, and other days I am so glad to still have all my boys at home that nothing really bothers me! I dread the empty refrigerator days ahead!

This year, I only have one long list of supplies to get instead of three! It is a little bit sad, but all of the "big" money will go to high school fees for those laptops. So it is a good thing we don't have to get a long list in addition to that, for budget reasons. So I enjoyed getting those first grade supplies and the little extras that make backpacks special. First grade! When did that happen? Kindergarten flew by way too quickly. And I dropped off my boys almost every single day and picked them up AND saw Sam before lunch almost every day. And it still flew by too fast...

And then the school clothes shopping. I remember shopping before Andrew went to kindergarten. I am a huge clearance shopper, so I don't wait until the last minute for everything. I found the cutest navy and red striped pj's at the outlets in Blowing Rock. They were $5, and they were so cute! But Andrew kept saying he did not want them. Finally, he said he did not want to wear those to kindergarten - everyone would laugh at him! After I assured him they were just pj's, he was fine. I always remember that when buying pj's. We used to get jeans, shirts, shoes, socks, etc. to fill in any gaps before school started. Everyone started with clean shoes. Will's were probably dirty on Day 2, but at least his teachers saw they were clean on the first day!!! We handed clothes down, so the favorites I found on clearance -all of the preppy Ralph Lauren stuff and adorable Gap clothes - were worn until they were almost worn out. Which made me glad Will was third. He was so hard on his clothes! And he still is! I had everything in labeled bins, and I had their closets organized just so. They maybe had a few too many clothes but not too many. Now they are minimalists when it comes to clothes. I rarely buy them things except to run or bike in. They wear the same things over and over. So I still have Sam to hunt for the "cute" boy things and shoes. He has already started liking to wear the same things over and over, so he will be like his brothers after all. I found a box of Will's old clothes a few weeks ago and washed them for Sam. They will be just the right size this fall - a few of the things he did not wear out! And Sam is so excited to wear Will's clothes!

Then there were the LL Bean backpacks - the best backpacks ever! They had their initials, and I think Peter's lasted for 7 or 8 years! Andrew got another brand when he went to high school, but it did not last. Will's was dirty and looked several years old after a short time, so I went with a durable outdoor brand for them and am pleased they won't need new ones this year! Sam's backpack was big enough for his folder, books, and diabetes kit. When it frayed a little around the front, I was so disappointed. But I called PBK this summer and explained why I loved it, and they sent me a duplicate. After finding the coordinating lunch box at the outlet this summer, he is ready to go for $8. I had skipped LL Bean for a while because they changed their backpack a little bit. But we still have an LL Bean lunch box that is six years old that we use as Sam's diabetes kit.

So this year, I will be dropping off one little person at Hardin Park for the first time in 11 years! I have always had two since Peter started school! When Will was in 7th, Sam was in the preschool there. How weird! And one will be driving the others to school and home from practice! Although that is wonderful and gives this mom a lot of freedom, I am so thankful for my little buddy who loves to see me in the afternoons! It helps the transition that I am not yet ready to fully make! As most parents are starting to let go when their child is a senior, I really cannot yet. I can some, but our situation is very very different. So I have to find the line and walk it to give him freedom while taking care of him. I want him to be able to be free and independent - that is what I am working for.

When we shopped last week in Pigeon Forge at the outlets, there was the softest, cuddliest Winnie the Pooh. He was on sale for the lowest price I have ever seen. Sam has Pooh bears that were hand-me-downs but not a big soft Pooh like this. I sadly thought if I did not get him, I never would! So I bought him and carried him close to me the rest of the day. The last Winnie the Pooh for these boys...

And when it's time to start letting this youngest one go, I will be better at it I am sure. I will keep onto him and teach him and train him to take care of himself and his health. His time and efforts now are an investment in his future health. And I have a lot more years to do it. Although...they will be gone in a blink! So I am very diligent in this every single day and remember that when it gets old. If I don't do it, he won't later. And of course I have plenty of help!

So, as school starts this year, I will bravely accept that my boys will be a SENIOR, JUNIOR, FRESHMAN, and FIRST GRADER! And I will strive to enjoy every moment, every race, every funny moment, because this time with them has gone by so fast. I am so thankful I was able to stay home with them while working part-time when they were so little. I look back and know that this time would be so much harder if I had not! What special gifts they are! And all they have been through with each other will teach them for whatever God has in store for them. I just pray they keep on the path He has for them.

Happy School Year!

Andrew's Appointment with the Pulmonologist today

Andrew's appointment in Charlotte went well today. Dr. Black said that his lungs are in "excellent" condition, and there is no damage. If Dr. Black had not searched for answers, Andrew would probably still be sick and end up with lung damage and many other bad things. A lot of people with immune system issues do fight infections frequently even when they are correctly diagnosed, so I know that we have a lot for which we need to be thankful. He told Andrew to continue to take the Advair to help stop things before they start. He is still at risk for bad infections, but we can try to be as ready as we can. And we will know how to treat him more effectively. I just don't even want to hear that cough! (And right now I am not!)

Sam has been swinging from very high to very low today. It's been frustrating. I thought maybe his insulin pen was not working, and we did use up the last of it today and started another cartridge. Even with that, he has been hard to keep up with! I can only hope tomorrow he will be back on track. And we will chalk this up as just a weird day.

Summer is flying by. And it is HOT in Boone! I hope our schools can cool off before school starts and while the teachers prepare their rooms.

Thanks for praying. We praise the Lord that Andrew's lungs are strong and healthy. Dr. Black said when Andrew is well, he is well. That in itself is amazing! We thank Him for Dr. Black and his interest in Andrew. He has truly been a blessing.

Again, thanks for the prayers. So many people need them right now; and we know how much they help and what strength, assurance, and hope they bring - being able to entrust such huge things to Someone else.

Have a great rest of the week!

Special Prayer Request

Andrew's last two treatments have taken longer, and he has lots of the medication pooling under his skin in all three sites. It took over three hours last night, and it was very slow going. He clamped off one, and it made the other two worse. He has started eating healthier - even though he was already a healthy eater. I am a little concerned that he is even leaner than before. Because of his fat loss many years ago, he does not have what most of us have. Even what very lean people have. His excess is gone.

I just pray that this will resolve itself so we can continue the SubQ treatments. I will make some calls yesterday. He also had a lot of bleeding after removing the needles from the two abdominal sites. We have had a little before but not anything like last night. It quit pretty quickly with pressure from a cold washcloth, but it was a little odd that both bled. His leg was harder to start, but it probably did better. So we may have to find new sites.

Thanks for the prayers. He is sleeping better with his better diet. We still have not gotten his iron as the pharmacy was having trouble receiving faxes. So I will do that tomorrow too - even if I get a temporary kind.

Have a great week!

Andrew's new numbers

Andrew's new numbers are a tiny bit lower, but they are still over 700. We won't check them again until October, so that will be a longer wait for me (the numbers watcher!). But he is doing well. He looks really good. His iron is low which maybe accounts for him being so tired a lot. He ran a 5K on the track tonight, and I watched him favor one leg again. Fortunately one of the coaches noticed and called out to me. We will try to get him to the trainer soon. He does not know he is doing it! He did it all through outdoor season, and it drove me crazy to watch! So we keep doing what we are doing and add some iron.

Sam's other stuff was fine. So he is good to go for a while. He has kept me on my toes at VBS this week - swinging a little more than usual or doing the opposite of what I think he should. But he is good with mostly good numbers.

Pete and Will rode their bikes up the Blue Ridge Parkway to Floyd, VA, today! I know they probably rode over 100 miles, and Pop picked them up a little ways from the house. We are going to get them tomorrow and cannot wait to hear all about their adventure! Pete borrowed a neighbor's bike and has not been on one for a long time. But he and Will really wanted to do this, and it will be a great memory for them. I hope Will was easy on him. Will rode over 50 miles one night this week in 2 1/2 hours.

Thanks for asking. I was hoping for bigger numbers, but he does need what he needs. We will find out what that is when he goes through an illness time. We are still trying to get him as ready as we can for fall. So thanks for the prayers!

Love,

Wendi

Three Charlotte Appointments

The boys and I got up early early and left at 5:30 for their endocrine appointments. The doctor saw both boys together, so we were done early and did not have to wait for the second appointment! It pays to have an early appointment. We were out before 9:00.

Andrew got a good report and does not have to go back for a year. We did not do labs, but we ended up getting one at his next appointment since they were drawing blood anyway. Dr. Parker said that he looks good and strong and called him a lean, mean, fighting machine. He doesn't know the half of it! Since Andrew is already two full inches past Dr. Parker's projection he gave me last year, I guess he is tickled with his progress. He talked to him a little bit about driving, his upcoming senior year, and college!

Then it was Sam's turn. His a1c was down a little more and right below where they want it. I told him about Sam's 23, and he thought that was unbelievable. However, since he was 33 a little bit after; we know it was that low! I told him I was in charge of him and had given him insulin, so he just reiterated as usual how important it is to keep checking him. He said his injection sites look great and seemed very pleased with his numbers and how he looks.

We went to the Southpark Mall to kill time and eat lunch before the next appointment. Sam found an Ipod that he liked (he said). And I thought, "Oh no!" He and Andrew spent some time in the Apple store. We missed one road going to the next appointment, but fortunately I had Rachel google it for me, and we found where we went the wrong way! I do enjoy driving through those beautiful old neighborhoods.

Dr. Patel spent a lot of time with us. He talked to us about going ahead with some more special testing. Having Sam with us as a reminder of the diabetes may have made him decide not to wait. Some of the tests take a long time. He also wanted to test some absorption things with some vitamins. He also wanted to enroll Andrew in a study - just using his information but not his name, etc. We will keep doing what we are doing, and we hope to hear those new numbers in the next couple of days. Dr. Patel is not sticking with a certain number until we go through a season of illness and determine what is best for Andrew. I still have hope that he will not have to do this for life. Being in the study will give us more information, and, at the very least, help others. Unfortunately, Andrew has a most remarkable medical history (per Dr. Patel); but we are always willing to help others if we can. I know the doctors at Vanderbilt told me that they had seen so little of the lipodystrophy that they remembered and used some of my descriptions and pictures because there just wasn't that kind of information available. I only told them what I knew and what I saw and appreciated that they listened! Same with this. Anything we have had tested or found out may be able to help someone else. And others on the registry may be able to help us.

For such a hot day with an early start, we did pretty well. We were glad to finally get home this evening. However, it still felt like we were off the mountain with the heat.

Thanks so much for the prayers. I appreciate you asking about Andrew - and Sam.

The Bear was last Thursday. I have very limited computer time, so I did not share that Andrew was 22nd! He did not run his best time, nor did he have any easy race; but he did what he could do. And we are thankful for that and happy for him. Peter was 10th and had a difficult race as well. He could not run last year, so it was great to see him out there. Being up on that mountain takes your breath away - first, if you ride the bus up and the driver stops while you feel like you are almost vertical hanging in the clouds. But second is best. The views and the majesty of what God made just cannot be ignored! It is absolutely beautiful. I feel so thankful to be able to see that. We still pray for the rider (and his family) in the Grizzly the next morning who was killed in a wreck. He was eight places behind Andrew in The Bear. Something like that sure changes my perspective on things. None of us are guaranteed another day here on this earth. So the important things immediately shift to the front. The most important, of course, being knowing where we will go when we die and why. Not wondering, but knowing. How thankful I am that we can know.

Thanks again! I will email his numbers when I get them.

Wendi

Milestone!

Happy 4th of July! While I have spent the day working outside and cleaning in the basement, I have been praying extra hard for all of the military men and women and their families. While I consider the gift of salvation I have accepted as most important (of course), I certainly do not want to take our country's freedom for granted. And to live in this country is to live in the best place in the world!

Saturday evening marked Andrew's 10th treatment at home! As I flipped back the pages of the little book we use, I could not believe it! I still hate drawing up the medication into the syringe and still worry about air bubbles and try to get rid of them, but Andrew is doing the hard part. He has had a hard time with the thought of needles lately. Once he puts them in, he is fine. Pete offered to put them in this time, so that motivated Andrew to go ahead and do it! I offered, of course, and was glad he still wanted to do them himself!

We go back next Monday to two appointments and hope to have super high numbers. Sam has an appointment where we want his numbers to be low, so I told my Sunday School class that I will try my best not to get mixed up. I just hope we feel relief after these appointments and get all of the numbers.

His legs are doing better, so thanks to those of you who prayed for that. He is wearing the Zensah sleeves; and if anyone has any other suggestions, we will take them! He does not have to wear them all of the time, so that is good.

Andrew and Peter both run The Bear this Thursday. The past couple of years this race has been a source of encouragement to all of us after a tough time. I pray it is this year as well. It's not just that Andrew has done well ~ it's that he CAN. No matter what, we are looking forward to a good and strong senior year for him.

We have so many people on our prayer lists at church and home. We know you all do too, and we appreciate all of the prayers and encouragment you give to us! We really really do! It's not something we take for granted.

I will email again when we get Andrew's numbers and see how those treatments are going. I hope to really puzzle those doctors so that they know Andrew's good swift reaction to all of this had Help! And of course, I pray that he will be better and be able to keep on running (his races and in his life).

I heard Matthew West's new song a few weeks ago. I almost felt like he had talked to me on one of my bad days! I will copy and paste it below. Google it if you feel overwhelmed. It is a great reminder that we are not left to do anything on our own.

Happy 4th again!

Love,
Wendi





STRONG ENOUGH Lyrics
Matthew West

You must
You must think I’m strong
To give me what I’m going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I’m wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I’m not strong enough to be
everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up
I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t you cover me
Lord right now I’m asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that’s the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I’m finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that’s when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I’m not strong enough to be
everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up
I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t you cover me
Lord right now I’m asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Cause I’m broken down to nothing
But I’m still holding on to the one thing
You are God and you are strong
When I am weak
I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don’t have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don’t have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Oh, yeah

I know I’m not strong enough to be
everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up
I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t you cover me
Lord right now I’m asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough